What are your favorite lines spoken at the table? - Page 55

sully4321 · #**541** 07-03-2005, 12:34 AM

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Last time I was in Vegas I carried around a bag of peanuts I got on the plane. I had this scenario scripted in my head but never got the guts to do it.

At Showdown:
Opponent: Whadda ya got?
Me: I got the nuts (throw bag of peanuts on table)

(I think it would help if I really do have the nuts)

One day....

-tank

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if you REALLY had guts, you'd say "i got the nuts" while flopping your ballsack on the table

DeadMoneyOC · #**542** 07-03-2005, 12:57 AM

I play low stakes stud hi-lo frequently and I always hear people complaing when someone is pushing a pot when it is clearly going to be a split pot. ie. someone has a board of 2378 against a board of KKQJ. The thing the fishes dont understand is that a lot of times the guy who is pushing his low has a ton of scoop outs. Yet the fishes keep saying stupid sh!t like "your just giving our money away by raising when it is clearly a split." I love to hear people complaining about how pumping the pot is just making the rake higher.

sully4321 · #**543** 07-03-2005, 01:09 AM

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Don't ever change that picture by your name, or I'll kick your @$$ out the window.

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If someone said this in a poker game, I don't see the humor.

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does this ridiculously stupid comment qualify for this thread?

sully4321 · #**544** 07-03-2005, 01:20 AM

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A guy who called his whole stack after FOUR players were already all-in preflop. Board ends up having two fives, and he drags down the huge pot with 2-5 of diamonds:

"I figured everyone else had all the good cards, so my cards were going to flop."

Justin A

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believe it or not, there was a post about this earlier. if three players all have AKs and you have 72o, you are a statistical favorite to win the hand by like 1%.

sully4321 · #**545** 07-03-2005, 01:40 AM

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i was playing $5 buy in NL with .1-.2 blinds last night with a couple of friends. I filled up on my 2 pair, but there was a 4-flush on the board. I go to bet, and my friend who is really really hammered says

"i'm calling whatever you bet"

I ask him a few times if he is sure what this is really sure this is what he wants to do (hey, I don't really need the money, i'd rather have him not be really pissed). He says yes, I shove all in and he calls with a Q [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] flush and I win the biggest pot of the night.

I finished up $19.

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you didn't really clarify, but i'm assuming you have the K or A of [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]?

masse75 · #**546** 07-03-2005, 04:09 AM

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i was playing $5 buy in NL with .1-.2 blinds last night with a couple of friends. I filled up on my 2 pair, but there was a 4-flush on the board. I go to bet, and my friend who is really really hammered says

"i'm calling whatever you bet"

I ask him a few times if he is sure what this is really sure this is what he wants to do (hey, I don't really need the money, i'd rather have him not be really pissed). He says yes, I shove all in and he calls with a Q [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] flush and I win the biggest pot of the night.

I finished up $19.

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you didn't really clarify, but i'm assuming you have the K or A of [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]?

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He filled up= Full House. Without Bob Saget.

juanez · #**547** 07-03-2005, 04:28 AM

There was this guy at my table (while dealing): young looking, semed a bit drunk, loud, and an annoying table coach. When I first pushed in I asked for his ID. He's 22. Cool enough.

Later, there's a dispute over something so stupid...the guy was really making an asss of himself over it. He screams "floor" and the floor person makes the obvious ruling which we all knew that she would make.

The guy says "I've been playing poker long enough to know that's not right." LMAO...he's 22. [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

SirFelixCat · #**548** 07-03-2005, 06:47 AM

Tonight in my local game, towards the end, we switched from playing 4/8 HE to 4/8 Omaha 8/b. It's a fairly serious game, but we all get along well enough. Anyway, along comes this hand:

Board of KJ999. Good sized pot. Player A bets out. Player B hems and haws for a good 30 seconds and calls. Player A turns over AKQ9 and says, "Quad 9's with an Ace". The whole table busted up laughing...save for Player B. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

TheCroShow · #**549** 07-03-2005, 07:44 AM

man..this thread was funny for the first few pages..i'm wondering how many of these stories are actually true! here i'll make one up, show you how easy it can be:

player a raises preflop (huge donk @ 3/6 game)
i look down to see pocket rockits! (add horrible spelling/grammar to keep this thread consistent)
flop is qqk i bet donk raises i 3bet donk caps i call.
turn j capped
river 3 capped

i shock em with the aces, huge donk jumps out of his chair, throws his A2 face up and says "straight queen to 3!" omg ROOOOFLLLE SO FUNNY!!!!

someone needs to lock this thread soon plz.

Skjonne · #**550** 07-03-2005, 08:59 AM

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man..this thread was funny for the first few pages..i'm wondering how many of these stories are actually true! here i'll make one up, show you how easy it can be:

player a raises preflop (huge donk @ 3/6 game)
i look down to see pocket rockits! (add horrible spelling/grammar to keep this thread consistent)
flop is qqk i bet donk raises i 3bet donk caps i call.
turn j capped
river 3 capped

i shock em with the aces, huge donk jumps out of his chair, throws his A2 face up and says "straight jack to 3!" omg ROOOOFLLLE SO FUNNY!!!!

someone needs to lock this thread soon plz.

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FYP