What are your favorite lines spoken at the table?

[Johnny Chan]

I layed down a big hand one night at the Taj to some young punk-looking kid. After the hand I asked him if he had it, and he said, "Sorry John, I don't remember."

That was kinda cool I guess.

[DeadMoneyOC]

I play low stakes stud hi-lo frequently and I always hear people complaing when someone is pushing a pot when it is clearly going to be a split pot. ie. someone has a board of 2378 against a board of KKQJ. The thing the fishes dont understand is that a lot of times the guy who is pushing his low has a ton of scoop outs. Yet the fishes keep saying stupid sh!t like "your just giving our money away by raising when it is clearly a split." I love to hear people complaining about how pumping the pot is just making the rake higher.

[juanez]

There was this guy at my table (while dealing): young looking, semed a bit drunk, loud, and an annoying table coach. When I first pushed in I asked for his ID. He's 22. Cool enough.

Later, there's a dispute over something so stupid...the guy was really making an asss of himself over it. He screams "floor" and the floor person makes the obvious ruling which we all knew that she would make.

The guy says "I've been playing poker long enough to know that's not right." LMAO...he's 22. [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

[SirFelixCat]

Tonight in my local game, towards the end, we switched from playing 4/8 HE to 4/8 Omaha 8/b. It's a fairly serious game, but we all get along well enough. Anyway, along comes this hand:

Board of KJ999. Good sized pot. Player A bets out. Player B hems and haws for a good 30 seconds and calls. Player A turns over AKQ9 and says, "Quad 9's with an Ace". The whole table busted up laughing...save for Player B. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[TheCroShow]

man..this thread was funny for the first few pages..i'm wondering how many of these stories are actually true! here i'll make one up, show you how easy it can be:

player a raises preflop (huge donk @ 3/6 game)
i look down to see pocket rockits! (add horrible spelling/grammar to keep this thread consistent)
flop is qqk i bet donk raises i 3bet donk caps i call.
turn j capped
river 3 capped

i shock em with the aces, huge donk jumps out of his chair, throws his A2 face up and says "straight queen to 3!" omg ROOOOFLLLE SO FUNNY!!!!

someone needs to lock this thread soon plz.

[Skjonne]

[ QUOTE ]
man..this thread was funny for the first few pages..i'm wondering how many of these stories are actually true! here i'll make one up, show you how easy it can be:

player a raises preflop (huge donk @ 3/6 game)
i look down to see pocket rockits! (add horrible spelling/grammar to keep this thread consistent)
flop is qqk i bet donk raises i 3bet donk caps i call.
turn j capped
river 3 capped

i shock em with the aces, huge donk jumps out of his chair, throws his A2 face up and says "straight jack to 3!" omg ROOOOFLLLE SO FUNNY!!!!

someone needs to lock this thread soon plz.

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

[sully4321]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
man..this thread was funny for the first few pages..i'm wondering how many of these stories are actually true! here i'll make one up, show you how easy it can be:

player a raises preflop (huge donk @ 3/6 game)
i look down to see pocket rockits! (add horrible spelling/grammar to keep this thread consistent)
flop is qqk i bet donk raises i 3bet donk caps i call.
turn j capped
river 3 capped

i shock em with the aces, huge donk jumps out of his chair, throws his A2 face up and says "straight jack to 3!" omg ROOOOFLLLE SO FUNNY!!!!

someone needs to lock this thread soon plz.

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

[/ QUOTE ]

nah, he's right pal. if it existed, it would be QKA23

[juanez]

[ QUOTE ]
huge donk jumps out of his chair, throws his A2 face up and says "straight queen to 3!"

[/ QUOTE ]

You can believe me or not, it's cool with me either way, but about a month ago we had a guy flip over A2 with JQK on the board. Guess what he said he had? Yup..."The wrap around straight". He was a bit confused and the floor was called. Later he admitted it was his first time to a casino and was laughing at himself...he was good natured about it.

I work at least 8 hours a day, at least 5 days a week in a poker room. It really is amazing the crap that goes down sometimes. Why would anyone make up a story to post here anyway? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] I guess it might happen....locking up the thread would be excessive IMHO.

[stinkypete]

[ QUOTE ]
Tonight in my local game, towards the end, we switched from playing 4/8 HE to 4/8 Omaha 8/b. It's a fairly serious game, but we all get along well enough. Anyway, along comes this hand:

Board of KJ999. Good sized pot. Player A bets out. Player B hems and haws for a good 30 seconds and calls. Player A turns over AKQ9 and says, "Quad 9's with an Ace". The whole table busted up laughing...save for Player B. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

this is where player B is supposed to say "good kicker" and throw his hand away.

[TheCroShow]

[ QUOTE ]
You can believe me or not, it's cool with me either way, but about a month ago we had a guy flip over A2 with JQK on the board. Guess what he said he had? Yup..."The wrap around straight". He was a bit confused and the floor was called. Later he admitted it was his first time to a casino and was laughing at himself...he was good natured about it.

I work at least 8 hours a day, at least 5 days a week in a poker room. It really is amazing the crap that goes down sometimes. Why would anyone make up a story to post here anyway? I guess it might happen....locking up the thread would be excessive IMHO.

[/ QUOTE ]

oh i believe you buddy, you work in a cardroom? cool, you must hear all kinds of stuff. i'm just saying i'm sure the truth has been bent on a couple of stories to make it sound more interesting. anyway, /rantmode off...i'll sift through the rest and see if anymore funny stories pop up.