Dumbest thing you've ever heard?

[offTopic]

Friend of mine used to work in a hardware store.

A guy comes in and asks about chain. The discussion turns to price, and my friend says, "That one's $x.yz per lineal foot." Customer says, "Lineal foot...what's that, like 16 inches?"

[astroglide]

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"Lineal foot...what's that, like 16 inches?"

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that's [censored] awesome

[captZEEbo1]

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2 comments (by the same person no less).

"Its good that you drink water. Its really good for you"

Another time, when it was observed that I was putting a lot of pepper on my lunch: "OMG, youre going to have a heart attack one of these days"

[/ QUOTE ]? I don't follow why either of these things are really dumb. #1 is just a slightly dumbed down version of something like "You should drink 8 glasses of water a day" or whatever absurd amount it is. #2 is just some half-joke about you using too much pepper.

[SCfuji]

same girl, one night, two incidents

friend puts a banana he is about to eat on a can of beer, girls asks what the banana is for, friend replies to keep it cold, girl puts a banana on her beer.

we are playing cranium. instead of rolling the dice she rolls the extra pieces and tries to figure out how many spaces to move for like a minute and we all just stare in AWE.

[BreakfastBurrito]

1. When I went to get my CA drivers license they made you take a written test. When waiting in line to get my test graded, there was a meathead behind me (actually wearing his barbell club t-shirt) who asked me "So, when it says prohibited, it means, like, you're not allowed to do it right?" I nodded, he thanked me, then he waited about 10 seconds, then he repeated the EXACT same question to me.

2. There is a sportscaster named Michael Barkan for Comcast Sports Net in Philadelphia. About 8 years ago, during an episode of Daily News Live, they were discussing who should be the Phillies All-Star. At the time, Curt Schilling was a top pitcher in the NL and clear cut all-star, but Doug Glanville was having a big first half, hitting .335 and getting hits in something like 55 of 58 games, so there was some talk of him getting selected too, although this clearly wasn't supposed to happen. Barkan though, knowing the rule that each team gets at least one all-star, felt it necessary to ask, "So, is there any way that we could say that Doug Glanville is the Phillies mandatory All-Star, and then Schilling makes it on his own merit?"

[imported_anacardo]

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"is this merlot?"

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"frasier, you're so corpulent that when you sit around magnificently and point to tuscan villa, you sit AROUND magnificently and point to tuscan villa"

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Can't even get this right, eh?

Magnificently appointed Tuscan villa.

Variation on the "when you sit around the house, you sit AROUND the house" joke.

[Brainwalter]

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"is this merlot?"

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"frasier, you're so corpulent that when you sit around magnificently and point to tuscan villa, you sit AROUND magnificently and point to tuscan villa"

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Lol, this might be it.

Edit: slow.

My dad isn't too bright sometimes. His second wife is from England and before flying there to meet his new in-laws, he asked, "do they have television and radio in England?" He was 47 years old and completely serious...

[2+2 wannabe]

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"is this merlot?"

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"frasier, you're so corpulent that when you sit around magnificently and point to tuscan villa, you sit AROUND magnificently and point to tuscan villa"

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Can't even get this right, eh?

Magnificently appointed Tuscan villa.

Variation on the "when you sit around the house, you sit AROUND the house" joke.

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is it seriously "appointed" instead of "point to"?

there's at least 5 people I know that think my way is right (i.e. they don't know any better)

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I was in Veags with a friend and 2 girls he worked with. We were in the sportsbook watching college football and one of the girls asked me what state Boston College was in. [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

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"It's in Boston!"