Funny Lines from movies that aren't comedies

[irishpint]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">En respuesta a:</font><hr />
Vincent: Want some bacon?

Jules: No man, I don't eat pork.

Vincent: Are you Jewish?

Jules: Nah, I ain't Jewish, I just don't dig on swine, that's all.

Vincent: Why not?

Jules: Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals.

Vincent: Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood.

Jules: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker. Pigs sleep and root in [censored]. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got enough sense enough to disregard its own feces.

Vincent: How about a dog? Dogs eats its own feces.

Jules: I don't eat dog either.

Vincent: Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?

Jules: I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.

Vincent: Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?

Jules: Well we'd have to be talkin' about one charmin' motherfuckin' pig. I mean he'd have to be ten times more charmin' than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin'?

-Pulp Fiction

[/ QUOTE ]

love it.

[Brainwalter]

[ QUOTE ]
"What happened to your face?"

"She crossed her legs too fast."

He ad-libbed that snappy comeback.

[/ QUOTE ]

Tone down what, mother-fucker!

[Turkish]

Jules: Mmmm! Goddamn, Jimmie! This is some serious gourmet [censored]! Usually, me and Vince would be happy with some freeze-dried Taster's Choice, but he springs this serious GOURMET [censored] on us! What flavor is this?
Jimmie: Knock it off, Jules.
Jules: [pause] What?
Jimmie: I don't need you to tell me how [censored] good my coffee is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping she buys [censored]. Me, I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I wanjt to taste it. But you know what's on my mind right now? It AIN'T the coffee in my kitchen, it's the dead nigger in my garage.
Jules: Oh, Jimmie, don't even worry about that...
Jimmie: No, let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you see a sign out in front of my house that said Dead Nigger Storage?
Jules: Jimmie, you know I ain't seen no...
Jimmie: Did you see a sign out in front of my house that said Dead Nigger Storage?
Jules: [pause] No. I didn't.
Jimmie: You know WHY you didn't see that sign?
Jules: Why?
Jimmie: 'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead niggers ain't my [censored] business, that's why!

[colgin]

Pulp Fiction is a comedy in my book and certainly in the context of this thread.