OOT come up with the worst opening sentence of a novel that you can.

[Bulldog]

Once you get to a period, your sentence is over.

Her breasteses were like two gigantic mounds of cottage cheese, all dimpled and mottled and off-color.

[durron597]

Oh freddled gruntbuggly, thy nicturations are to me, as plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.

[mason55]

Glancing back and forth, he wondered aloud which was the real George Washington and which one was the robot George Washington.

[NutzyClutz]

Sounds of distant calvery resonated in my heart when I spied my K-K, my all-in was a harbinger of spring...ing into action was the instant call of Amarillo Fats whilst calvery stampeded my downtrotten body towards Amerillo's A-A.

[asofel]

riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend
of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs.

[benza13]

[ QUOTE ]
Oh freddled gruntbuggly, thy nicturations are to me, as plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.

[/ QUOTE ]

nh.

But isn't this the start of a poem, not a novel...

[Hiding]

His hangover had hime feeling like an overcooked piece of broccolli, a funny color of green and all soft and mushy....

[superleeds]

Wearily he lifted his head from the curb only for his eyes to be filled with the oncoming tread from a Pirelli Scorpion Zero. Whilst he was pleased he hadn't lost his ability to instantaneously recognise car tyres from around the world, a habit picked up from the lonely days at Appleford High, he couldn't help thinking that this was a bad start to the day.

[mason55]

Rocking in his chair on the front porch, he quickly plucked his banjo, like a senior plucking the virginity from a freshman girl on homecoming weekend.