A bad situation

[poker-penguin]

I'm torn between the two responses here.

On the one hand, this scumbag deserves to "fall down the stairs" a few times, especially if the stairs are wearing steelcap work boots. On the other hand, beating people up, for whatever reason, is rightfully against the law, so if you get caught, you've messed your life up.

Theoretically though, if a good friend's cousin was beaten up by her scumbag boyfriend, the two of us would theoretically go round to his house and break his nose, cheekbone, several ribs, his right arm, and severely bruise his testicles. If we theoretically told him "if you go near or talk to X again, we won't stop next time" he may well stop.

However, I don't reccomend this, because if he is a stubborn scumbag, and not just a weak abusive bully, he'll call you and go near X again, and quite possibly be even more angry at her.

Theoretically, we got lucky, and he left town soon after getting out of hospital.

The best course of action is to get the guy put in prison for as long as possible.

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
1. She needs therapy (not that therapy is a bad thing).


[/ QUOTE ]

Therapy is an awesome thing. It's too bad it has kind of a stigma attached to it that makes it less appealing to people.

It's also great IF used right. The trick is also to find a good therapist. Too many now just try and give a pill or refocus someones stuff on something else never really tackling the issue. And some just tell the client what they know the client will want to hear.

b

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
None of you know [censored], unless you are actually the woman here. So stfu until you've lived a lifetime in her shoes.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is not a situation you have to have first hand experience with to have an opinion on it. There are tons of volumes written on it. These situations (generally) are not as unique or independent as some try to say they are. This is why therapists who have no first hand experience can actually help people through these types of situations. Many people who do have first hand experience with this have trouble discussing it because their emotions cloud the issue. Which is wholly understandable.

It would be ignorant to just ignore it and not try to learn about these types of situations. Instead, just shunning them under the bed and 'hoping' it never shows up in your circle. The more insight you have into it, the better prepared you are should you encounter this situation from whatever angle your role is in it.

b

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

So I guess what we're trying to say here is that we can see how this got to be a big flame war? Good. Let's move on.

[adamstewart]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
None of you know [censored], unless you are actually the woman here. So stfu until you've lived a lifetime in her shoes.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is not a situation you have to have first hand experience with to have an opinion on it. There are tons of volumes written on it. These situations (generally) are not as unique or independent as some try to say they are. This is why therapists who have no first hand experience can actually help people through these types of situations. Many people who do have first hand experience with this have trouble discussing it because their emotions cloud the issue. Which is wholly understandable.

It would be ignorant to just ignore it and not try to learn about these types of situations. Instead, just shunning them under the bed and 'hoping' it never shows up in your circle. The more insight you have into it, the better prepared you are should you encounter this situation from whatever angle your role is in it.

b

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree with what you've said.

My post was directed more to those who said something along the lines of "She's just as at fault," or "Why can't she just leave him?"


Adam

[-Skeme-]

[ QUOTE ]
WRONG! A serious beat down is in order so that future abuse is prevented. You need to put fear in the abuser's mind. You need to let him know that if he ever comes in contact with the woman again there will be serious consequences. A restaining order just doesn't do the trick.

[/ QUOTE ]

I really don't think beating him down will do anyting but make him want to kill bernie, the friend, and the girl. If the girl moves away from him for good, he doesn't pose a threat unless he can find her. If she doesn't take him back, there should be no problem. I think jumping him will provoke him to hurt someone again.

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
i only have two or so really close friends who are also chicks. However, if they got beat up by their boyfriend, that dude would be dead. Or really damn close. He would definitly never, ever want to be around them again.

[/ QUOTE ]

So you'd risk going to jail for your entire life over this?

Sounds like a horrible idea.

[DMBFan23]

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i only have two or so really close friends who are also chicks. However, if they got beat up by their boyfriend, that dude would be dead. Or really damn close. He would definitly never, ever want to be around them again.

peace

john nickle

[/ QUOTE ]

amen. I'd call two hardcore pipe hitting n****** to come to work on him with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch. I'd get medieval on his ass

[Stuey]

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The best course of action is to get the guy put in prison for as long as possible.

[/ QUOTE ]

Meet him the day he gets out of prison and force him to violate his parole. I have zero criminal record so if he beats the [censored] out of me or kills me with no witnesses he is sure to get more time. Only do this if you feel VERY strongly this guy deserves more punishment, as this is a big sacrifice on your part. But if he messes up a friend of mine that bad I'm doing it. Very good chance I’m at the gate when he gets out the 2nd time also.

If he didn't kill me I would enjoy this so much. Seeing him in court trying to tell them I attacked him! This is what I call the reverse Gandhi. And yes I have done it before, and it works, you just have to be prepared to take some serious licks. And don't hurt the other guy enough to leave marks.

Very often the guy does not hurt you very bad. He is confused and you end up with a busted nose and some stitches maybe. But you must be prepared for the .01% of scumbags that will kill you. But he was going to kill someone sooner or later. And if it gets that intense you will surprise yourself how hard you can fight when you think you might die. You might kill him first.

Suffering cheerfully endured, ceases to be suffering and is transmuted into an ineffable joy.

ps I sleep with my doors unlocked, people think this is crazy. Doors can’t stop the really bad sobs. So why lock up? I am not a good fighter and I am only 5'10 but when I stand up to these pricks and they all get a confused scared look in their eyes and most refuse to fight unless you hit them first. At their core they are very scared people, give them a reason to fear and the tables turn.

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The best course of action is to get the guy put in prison for as long as possible.

[/ QUOTE ]

Meet him the day he gets out of prison and force him to violate his parole. I have zero criminal record so if he beats the [censored] out of me or kills me with no witnesses he is sure to get more time. Only do this if you feel VERY strongly this guy deserves more punishment, as this is a big sacrifice on your part. But if he messes up a friend of mine that bad I'm doing it. Very good chance I’m at the gate when he gets out the 2nd time also.

If he didn't kill me I would enjoy this so much. Seeing him in court trying to tell them I attacked him! This is what I call the reverse Gandhi. And yes I have done it before, and it works, you just have to be prepared to take some serious licks. And don't hurt the other guy enough to leave marks.

Very often the guy does not hurt you very bad. He is confused and you end up with a busted nose and some stitches maybe. But you must be prepared for the .01% of scumbags that will kill you. But he was going to kill someone sooner or later. And if it gets that intense you will surprise yourself how hard you can fight when you think you might die. You might kill him first.

Suffering cheerfully endured, ceases to be suffering and is transmuted into an ineffable joy.

ps I sleep with my doors unlocked, people think this is crazy. Doors can’t stop the really bad sobs. So why lock up? I am not a good fighter and I am only 5'10 but when I stand up to these pricks and they all get a confused scared look in their eyes and most refuse to fight unless you hit them first. At their core they are very scared people, give them a reason to fear and the tables turn.

[/ QUOTE ]

Who are you trying to impress?

Have you ever spent a significant amount of time in a hospital?

How about this, which is feasible. You end up in ICU for about 3 months. You're recovering and you find out she has since gone back to him. He decided to drop the charges against you, but has filed a restraining order.

Worth it?

b