anyone have any funny stories about crapping their pants?

[Turkish]

In first grade I dropped a nice load in the middle of the school day. It smelled so bad, the teacher asked everyone to check their shoes in the middle of teaching. Needless to say, that pair of underwear didn't make it..

[___SK___]

heres a story that i didnt tell anyone for years out of embarassment! i call it the "sobe-jack in the box" story.

so back in college i worked at the university hospitals gift shop and usually we'd grab something to drink at the end of our shift. so with the introduction of this new drink sobe and some of its unusal combinations, i had to try one. So i grab one, proceed to drink it as i walked through campus on my way home. ultimately i begin to feel some grumbling in my stomach and i realize that i have to go NOW! i do my best not to move, stand still and squeeze the best i can. i manage to fight off the initial urge. at this point i am walking down our popular little drag called "the ave". it hits me again, i see a burrito shop in site. i make my way over there and realize there is no one in there, so if i go in there, the girl at the counter is gonna know whats up. so i manage to hold tight and fight it off again, knowing there is a jack in the box on the same block. i was literally taking baby steps to jack in the box. half way there, i think i crap myself and take my jacket and wrap it around my waiste. i make it to jack in the box and discover they have a very small one person bathroom. its one door, the sink, another door, the toilet, you close the door and turn and sit basically. so i get in, and realize this is gonna be a drop pants, squat and release in one motion situation. well i dropped squatted and realized all over the wall, it shot out of me like a rocket. hitting everything but the water. i couldnt even sit down there was crap all over the wall, the toilet seat and now my ass from losing my balance and having to touch down on the seat itself. i cleaned myself up as best i could and bailed. but that had to have been the worse clean up job for whomever had bathroom duty.

now i am almost proud to tell that story.

[Klepton]

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This is what he was so drunk off of: 3 shots of Bacardi RAZZ and some beers.

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he forgot to mention i'm 140 pounds and that i had some white russians at the club we went to, but yeah i have no tolerance

[Klepton]

i laughed out loud at this...thank you

[The Stranger]

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ive never been so drunk that I [censored] on myself. I didnt even know this was possible.


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Most people die before they get that drunk.

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you haven't met some of my friends, they'll gladly tell their grand stories of shitting and pissing themselves as they're passed out.

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I don't know if you're replying to me, or the guy I quoted. But I understand involuntary loss of bowel control to be a symptom of extreme alcohol poisoning that usually happens at about a BAC of .40. I don't know about that story earlier of a guy doing it on five drinks or so, but for me that night, it was something between a liter and a handle of Jim Beam in about an hour and a half, to the best of my recollection/estimation.

As I stated earlier most people are dead or almost dead at this point. The fact that I survived without medical attention (although I felt horrible the next day), made a vow to never drink again, and was back at it in about a month shows that my mind and body were seriously warped.

The dry cleaning bill for a comforter and a suede jacket was not cheap either.

[ClassicBob]

In my sophomore year of high school, I experienced some of the worst pain in my life. I was sitting in biology, when all of a sudden, I felt like I needed to drop a deuce. Not a monster feeling, but one that needed attention pretty soon. We're doing some busywork, so I ask the teacher if I can go use the restroom. She says no, because she's about to do some lecture.

So, I sit back down, and she starts going on about some biology mumbo-jumbo. The pain sets in. After about 10 minutes, she finishes, and I'm pretty sure I'm visibly hopping in my seat, with a beet-red face. So, I go and ask again. "Oh, I just gave the bathroom pass to (some hippie stoner)."

Dammit. So, I sit back down, very gingerly. Hippie stoner kid returns about ten minutes later, and I grab the pass and take off. I'm sweating, I've been hopping up and down in my seat. I run-waddle down the hall to the bathroom as quickly as possible. I open the bathroom door, luckily no one is in there. I throw open a stall door (there are two in the room), drop trou, and start spraying. I never actually sit down, I just spray all over the toilet. After the initial outburst (probably the longest 15 seconds of my life), I observe the situation. Nothing on my clothes, which is a plus. A little on my leg, fixable. All over the toilet, and all over the floor. [censored] that. I make sure no one has come in while I was tending to other matters, and I waddle over into the next stall. I take about 5-10 minutes to finish up, clean up, and walk out. To my great fortune, no one has walked into the bathroom this entire time.

I go back to class, and before I go in, I look out the window. The sky is really crazy looking, with a purplish-haze of multiple clouds. I walk into class, and the teacher asked me in a very bitchy manner what took me so long. I just shrug my shoulders and sit down. Hippie stoner kid leans over and says "you were staring at those clouds too, huh?"

"Yup."

[TheJunkyardGod]

I havent crapped my pants since I was young. But luckily I know enough deviants to tell a few stories anyway.

One friend was playing in a volleyball tournament down in Florida. He felt a fart coming on and thought nothing of it. And then a bit more than gas came flying out. He said it was almost impossible to cover up.

Last St. Patricks Day at a family party. My younger cousin and her boyfriend came home from the bar. Her boyfriend stormed right up to the bathroom and my cousin says to me "he's not feeling well...actually, I think he [censored] himself" Sure enough, we hear the shower turn on after a few minutes. Everyone got a good laugh about that one.

And then there's my friend Dan. This kid might be one of the worst drunks you'll ever meet. I could spend hours telling stories of the hysterical things this kid has done in a drunken stupor. But i'll stay on topic and tell this one story.

Sometime last winter Dan went to his friends house for a party. As is the usual, he becomes blackout drunk and makes everyone laugh. But the story gets funny, as my friend would tell me. Apparently everyone woke up the next morning and couldnt find dan. After a while they figure he must be in the basement, and sure enough there he is. The strange part is that they found him balls naked, and he shat all over himself and slept in it. We still make fun of him for that one.

The best part was that he tried to blame it on the dog.

[Iplayragstoo]

Tell me you went back there at some point to order something.. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Johnny Richter]

A friend of mine (who isn't the brightest person which makes this story 10x funnier to me) was at a party in a sorority house and drank way too much and couldn't remember anything from the night before, but awoke the next morning to these girls asking what the hell was that smell.

Well he ended up in one of the girls rooms where a few other people crashed and when he woke up he realized that smell was him because sometime in the night when he was passed out he [censored] himself.

Needless to say we all got a huge laugh, and he was never invited back to that particular sorority.

[miajag81]

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I go back to class, and before I go in, I look out the window. The sky is really crazy looking, with a purplish-haze of multiple clouds. I walk into class, and the teacher asked me in a very bitchy manner what took me so long. I just shrug my shoulders and sit down. Hippie stoner kid leans over and says "you were staring at those clouds too, huh?"

"Yup."

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Winner.