Vegas Trip Report Pt. 1 - planning

[razor]

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black/blue cheetah print

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oh my!

[SonicReducer]

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At the airport I'm going to play the Wheel of Fortune slots. Last weekend I hit a 250 coin jackpot on that. This weekend I'm going to try harder to hit the progressive $1M+ jackpot.

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Yeah, quit slacking and TRY HARDER to win at the slot machine. Maybe you were missing the machine's tells. [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[Michael Davis]

"black/blue cheetah print shirt"

On Sunday nights you can catch a wonderful drag band performing such hits as "It's Raining Men" and "I Will Survive" at New York, New York.

-Michael

[fat_nutz]

Yo Diablo, did you catch the 8:20 out of Oakland? If so, weren't you glad to be alive when that plane finally got on the ground?

So, I was in Vegas last weekend too. It was insane, I started to write this trip report but started to run out of steam... here's the full first part, plus a synopsis of the rest of the trip (the really sweet part) that I ran out of energy writing...


VEGAS baby. Check in at the Boardwalk Hotel & Casino around 11, Friday night. I brought $5k in a half-hearted effort for some shady tax evasion, but when we discovered the hotel room had no safe, meaning that I would have to drag the entire roll out with me, I realized that the entire amount might be "in play," shall we say. We decided for a little warmup blackjack and alcohol transfusion at the BH&C... the table vibe was great, thanks to double rum-and-cokes all around, betting stayed controlled, all three of us ended up winning ballpark $25. We head over to the Bellagio to investigate satellite situation for the $1500 event on Sunday, learn that the satellites start running at 8 am. Pros everywhere, Farha, Ron Rose, Negreanu, Greenstein, Forrest, it's a total zoo. We bail, head to the Aladdin, and sit in a 1/2 NLHE game. GREAT game. Fun table, good chemistry, lots of action. More rum-and-cokes, but they seem pretty weak, so we start ordering doubles. Still seem sort of weak, so I ask for a triple. THEN the CW informs me that they don't even serve doubles at the Aladdin (no wonder this commie joint is bankrupt), and that I need to quit giving her a hard time. Ah, so you think you're better than me, do you? I tell her to just bring me a glass of rum and a can of coke, and I'll make myself a drink. She didn't like that too much, naturally. Someone at the table remarks that this CW *really* hates me. Response "don't worry, I'll be balls deep in that ass by morning." That turned out to be a timely remark, since the dealer at the time was her boyfriend. Surprisingly, he was pretty cool about it, even thought it was funny. Sort of. Anyhow, the guy sitting next to me suggests we just fire up some bourbon shots to go with the rum-and-cokes. BINGO. Memory begins to fade here, but by this point, I'm basically throwing the best party these players have ever seen, $5k burning a hole in my pocket, not much talent for NLHE to boot, and I'm quickly in maybe 5 or so buyins. I get the feeling, in retrospect, that dealers could've been on the phone telling their friends to get to the cardroom, you won't believe this guy, goes all-in with Q7 off on a J73 flop after cold-calling 10x UTG raise from tight-image player, who calls, shows KK, but loses when the 7 falls on the turn, etc etc. I managed to triple up now and again, but the stack always migrated away from me. Meanwhile, I'm losing it, sobreity wise. At one point, I'm getting fed up with this mean dealer chick who sat down two to my right, so I say, "if she calls, I'm moving all in." She IMMEDIATELY jumps on this, says it's binding by word, and calls. I look down, forget now but think maybe J2 off? Easy all-in, some guy in late position calls, she folds (bitch), I fail to put on the bad beat. The rest of the session was continued disaster, somehow still at high levels of fun. I don't even remember how we ended up deciding to leave the game, but apparently I was looking into my wallet, saying stuff like "I thought I only lost 6 buyins back there, what happened?" My guess is, 10 buyins approx.
So, back to the BH&C. 6 am. Craps time, baby. Fun as hell, and most of this I remember, we had some decent runs but I dropped probably $200 by the end. Give or take $300. Really no idea. Time for the mid-morning blackjack rally and dealer abuse period. Well, I scored highest marks on dealer abuse, but lowest marks on blackjack rally. How to summarize... later, when I was complaining to the player's club about my account, and how I could have only accrued something like $20 of credit given the level I was playing at, they referred me to the floorman, who explained that the average bet of $100 for an hour and a half was accurate, since I was betting between 15 and 50 for the first hour, and 200-500 for the last fifteen minutes. Let's just say that when you're tearing your hotel room apart because you can't find "the other three thousand dollars," it's not good. I think I remember the last two hands sort of... rebuy for $600, it all goes in the circle. Winner, baby. DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK. OK, now $600 each in two circles. Dealer 4 vs. my 19 & 20 (or 18? two made hands anyway). Dealer: T .... 7. CRACK. Grab some lunch at FatBurger (outstanding), and hit the sack.
OK, next day. By which I mean, two hours later, 3 pm Saturday. I'm in the hole $4700. Looks like I may have reduce my taxable income by $5k without having to break the law! We head to the Bell for a sit-n-go. We're quickly informed that it's going to be "a while" and to come back that evening if we want to get seated more quickly. So we head back to the Aladdin. Definitely notice some heads turn when we enter the room. But I'm sober now, and rack up a $150 win playing reasonable poker for once. Boring, but inspired some confidence. Grab dinner at Lotus of Siam, damn good. Fire up the BBQ catfish if you have the opportunity. Back to the Bellagio, jump in a sit-n-go. First hand, I'm UTG+1, limp with 77. Folds around to BB, who happens to be Mel Judah (couldn't remember his name at the time, but now I looked him up and see that he's a WSOP millionaire). Flop is K63 or something like that. Mel checks, I bet the pot, he calls. Turn pairs the 3, Mel bets out 225 (little over half the pot). I sense weakness, or something, because I am not good at NLHE, I use my most powerful weapon: the obvious all-in steal attempt. Mel practically beats me into the pot and turns up KQ. WELL DONE. $180 to play one horrible, embarassing hand with a two-time WSOP bracelet winner. Fortunately, it allowed me to play a little more blackjack, with the predictable $200 loss. The other guys went out in much less embarassing fashion. KK got bad beat by 88 (straight), and 99 got all-in vs. TT and didn't get lucky.

Synopsis part:

After the Bell, we hit Olympic Gardens. Within 5 minutes, there's an asian on my lap giving me a handjob. No kidding. I also got her phone number (she made me promise to cum on her face later that night) but I got too drunk and forgot to call her.
Next day, before checkout, I bitch to the pitboss that I dropped 5k at their casino, the least I deserve is a free room. He introduces me to the BH&C casino host, who hooks me up with: comped room, comped lunch, limo ride to airport, two bottles of booze (Cuervo 1800 and Wild Turkey), three BH&C windbreakers (great for table image), and a promise to have the job of the jackass who mistakenly tried to deliver food to our room the night before at 4 am. That was absolutely tits. Rest of the day, NL poker, uneventful but drunk.
Out of energy writing. Diablo, kick ass for me this weekend, don't blow through that $5k in 20 minutes like me. (BTW, why the phuck are you playing with only $5k if you have over a million in Cicso stock? seems... curious...)

[miajag81]

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Within 5 minutes, there's an asian on my lap giving me a handjob. No kidding. I also got her phone number (she made me promise to cum on her face later that night) but I got too drunk and forgot to call her.

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dude

[daryn]

WTF???

how do you hijack an el diablo trip report with your crap trip?

[daryn]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In risposta di:</font><hr />
(BTW, why the phuck are you playing with only $5k if you have over a million in Cicso stock? seems... curious...)

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$5k is $5k. maybe he actually values money.

[scrub]

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WTF???

how do you hijack an el diablo trip report with your crap trip?

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I'm not sure.

Apparently, there's some rule against employing paragraphs in the process.

scrub

[casinogosain]

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black/blue cheetah print shirt

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I was forced to purge my closet of animal prints when I got married. You cannot fail.

-Ash

[jack spade23]

I died when i read this:

"Response "don't worry, I'll be balls deep in that ass by morning." That turned out to be a timely remark, since the dealer at the time was her boyfriend. Surprisingly, he was pretty cool about it, even thought it was funny. Sort of."

Must.....use....this line....at school...