Favorite Lines at the poker table, part 2

[jedi]

"Thanks for busting me, Mike."

- Greg Raymer

[Gamblor]

into the thought processes of the fish.

[Hallett]

[ QUOTE ]
Supremely Bad Player has two speeds, Call & Raise. After an exremely rare pre-flop fold, another guy looks up in surprise and says, "one of his cards must have been blank."

[/ QUOTE ]

LMAO... Absolutely hilarious

[jmark]

Home NL game:

Board is something like 66Q2

Player 1 bets the turn, Player 2 raises all-in, Player 1 folds.

Player 2: I knew you were bluffing
Player 1: I wasn't bluffing, I had ace-high!

[JasonM]

5/10 6 Max

I have A [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]K [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] on the button. UTG Raises, 1 player drops, I call as do the blinds.

Flop
A [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] K [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] T [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]
Checked to me, I bet, 3 callers

Turn
9 [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]
Checked to me, I bet, 1 caller (big blind)

River
J [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] (What an AWFUL card!)
He bets, I think for a few seconds and make a crying call.

Big blind 8 [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]8 [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]

I type "What are you doing?"

He says "Big Blind"

[uw_madtown]

[ QUOTE ]
5/10 6 Max

I have A [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]K [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] on the button. UTG Raises, 1 player drops, I call as do the blinds.

Flop
A [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] K [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] T [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]
Checked to me, I bet, 3 callers

Turn
9 [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]
Checked to me, I bet, 1 caller (big blind)

River
J [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] (What an AWFUL card!)
He bets, I think for a few seconds and make a crying call.

Big blind 8 [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]8 [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]

I type "What are you doing?"

He says "Big Blind"

[/ QUOTE ]

But... he had a pair on the flop! And then he had a flush draw on the turn! You can't fold that, you might be bluffing! [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

- UW

[fireman664]

that line by fossilman cracked me up.

[beerbandit]

"now i know what a gooch feels like---im between an [censored] and a nut sack"

"i dont know whats worse that hand you just played or that stupid look on your face"

cheers
beer

[Shoe]

"Thank God there's a river"

[DeuceKicker]

3/6 game at B&M.

Guy's been 'teaching' the table all afternoon, but I don't ask him to stop since a) he's been a pretty nice guy and; b) so far he's been 100% wrong in his advice.

After he cracks AA by calling the preflop raise with J6 or somesuch he says, "You know pocket aces only win 20% of the time."

The table falls into a hushed silence as they digest this latest pearl. There are a few nods and the usual "I never win with pocket aces..."

Then he says, "...and pocket twos win 60% of the time. I just read it in a book!"

I asked, "Was the book upside-down?"