What to do with my life (need advice bad)?

[ElSapo]

There's a lot of good and bad advice in this thread, and a lot of interesting perspectives from people who probably know much more than I do and have a greater breadth of experience. That said, I'll give you my advice and maybe you can take something from it.

People talk about change like it's a permanent thing — poker or banking or teaching or dating a ton of girls or going out or staying in or unemployment or over employment. A lot of people at least post and write advice as if the change you make will be the last, and permanent one. I disagree with this assesment.

There's nothing wrong with making a change, trying something new, deciding it doesn't work and then changing again. And. Again. The idea that you will one day arrive at the "perfect permanent state," where you find a state of perpetual satisfaction, seems counterintuitive to me. One day what you want may change, and when it does you can make that change again. And. Again.

So far, no one has proven to me otherwise that you get anything but one shot in this life. Spending it not trying to follow what you want is a crime, I would think, especially give that you seem intelligent and have resources and support.

I left my job one month ago — I didn't hate it, I simply didn't love it. I left with about $10,000 in the bank and a general idea that I could play poker for some extra cash. I didn't intend to turn pro, and I still don't.

I set a timeframe: between six months and a year. I opted to work on two specific projects, a photo documentary and some fiction writing. I told myself that I would accomplish these things, and in six months I would re-evaluate. I would see where I was, what I wanted, and I would look to change again.

In some ways, you could call this stupid. $10,000 is not a lot of money. A bare minimum monthly nut for me is about $1,500, so the six-months is there. I was/am lucky, in that if I want I can probably return to my old job. I have no idea what will happen at the end of six months. I'm willing to make a change, and another.

If you decide to turn pro, it is not the end of your choices. You may find in time you dislike it. You may love it. You may want to go back to part time. But the most important thing, I think, is to understand that it doesn't have to be permanent — you can change again. And. Again.

Change is scary -- I hate change, honestly. But I got to a point where it made more sense to make the change I was scared of, leaving a solid and good job I didn't hate but didn't love. You seem to be well past that point.

What are you afraid of? There's worse things in life than gaps on your resume. Sometimes the worse things are the non-gaps.

Just my take.

[JohnnyHumongous]

Lehighguy,

Do you remember the thread about 6 or 8 months ago where I asked whether I should take the strategy consulting gig I got offered or play poker full-time? You were in that thread a bunch... it's ironic because it seems you're facing a very similar situation and similar pros and cons. Since then my skill and my earn at poker have gone up substantially, such that if I were to play full-time I could make a tremendous amount of money, a lot more than I had said in that thread.

And you know what? I STILL go to my consulting job day in and day out. My job is typically 50-60 hours per week, so it's similar to yours, and unlike trading the hours are unpredictable so I never know whether I'll have to stay until 11 pm or come in on the weekends. But I look at it this way: if I were to play full-time I could probably get the standard 30 hours per week in. Now I feel I can get 15 hours per week after my day job responsibilities are through. So it's true that I could make more per year playing poker rather than consulting. But the thing is, poker is not guaranteed to be as profitable in the future, and if I stay on the career path numerous doors will be open to me throughout my life. Those doors would not be open if I played poker rather than got this crucial post-college experience.

There are a ton of other benefits to having a job, like health coverage and other benefits, social network and interpersonal relationships, "nonpecuniary benefits" like client and recruiting dinners, company sponsored social events etc. I love the "legitimacy" of my job, in that it's a real first-class job where people dress well, get paid well and they do work that is profoundly meaningful and has a real impact on the economy.

If I were in your shoes (and I almost was- I did I-Banking internships but realized I would have hated that kind of work), I would finish out the year, and next spring/summer start looking around for other gigs so you can have another job lined up that you can jump into as soon as you finish your year in trading. My job is sooooooo much better than I-Banking would have been, and I am so much better suited for it personality-wise and skill-wise. I'm sure you can find a career that you feel the same way about. Have you thought about advertising or marketing? Hedge funds? Industry? There are countless career paths to take.

Anyways, I hope this jumble of thoughts came through OK. Feel free to PM me or respond here if there's anything else you want to talk about.

Best of luck.

[utmt40]

Seriously man I was in a similar job a few months back and I only worked 35 hrs a week there. I made way more money there than what I am now but what is funny is that I am a lot happier at my new job. It is within the same company so it worked out as a transfer. I now work 45-50 hrs a week and I love my job. See if there is something else you might be interested in within the company you work for instead of quitting. If not I would ride out my 2 yrs and look for something else.

[Danenania]

Perhaps this demonstrates MY immaturity but I can't imagine "riding out" 2 years or even 1 year of my life doing something that I hate. Difficult is something else. Succeeding at a difficult task can be strengthening and rewarding but it doesn't sound as if the OP is gaining anything at all from his current situation. Ride it out? Man I would rather be broke and live in my parents' basement than have to turn myself into a zombie just to endure my own life. OP, If I were you I'd quit and start looking at other more fulfilling options immediately. Hell if you just want to play video games and chill with friends then do that until something new occurs to you. You can easily make enough playing poker to support yourself doing that for as long as you wish. It's not as if there's a dire shortage of investment bankers in the world. Maybe this attitude is the reason I will never be a CEO or senator but you also won't ever see me stuck with a job that I hate. Seems like a fair enough trade to me.

[JohnnyHumongous]

Just a little nitpick but he's not an investment banker, he's an S&T (sales & trading) analyst. Fairly big difference.

[lehighguy]

They are gonna put me in research, which has the most hours of S+T. But anyway as to your oringinal post.

I can't really play poker while working. The difference between 50-60 and 60-80 is big, but much more importantly I'm completely drained by the end of it. I tried playing the first two weeks, and I played real bad because I didn't have the energy. I've done things for 80 hours a week before when I enjoyed them, and it didn't feel hard at all. Somehow I think even if my hours were reduced I still might want to quit because I hate the work.

As for interpersonal relationships, that is a real problem for me right now. I'm not an investment banker. Investment banking is more then a job, its like a whole damn 24/7 personality. And it just isn't me. I never really got along with the other finance majors at school either. I can't see being friends with these people. This has been really tough for me.

[Klepton]

i've been a pro player for 4 months, i already want out.

keep the investment banker job.

and as for just wanting to hang out with friends and not knowing how to spend your money, here's an idea:

go to a bar and hang out with your friends. at the start of the night pull out your credit card and say "all drinks on me tonight, lets have some fun."

[lehighguy]

Could you go into what has happened as a pro a little.

[Klepton]

no repsonsibilities are fun, but when you actually have to play at least 2000 hands a day, it'll start to get at you.

also you said in 2 years you could be making 100k easy. making 100k when you are 24 is pretty damn good.

i went pro because there was nothing better. if someone offered me a investment banker job paying 55 the first 2 years and then maybe 100k after that, i'd take it instantly and go back to playing poker once a week.

[Nietzsche]

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The idea of retiring at 35 is really appealing to me.

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Moreover, I don't even want money.I wouldn't know what to do with it.

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