What are your favorite lines spoken at the table?

[masse75]

The only thing that could make the moment better would be for you to exclaim (as innocently as possible), "But they were suited."

[Jay36489]

Remember back (~20 pages ago) when people posted things that were actually funny in this thread, instead of just stupid comments by inexperienced players? Those were the days...

[tylerdurden]

A 72% VP$IP, 0% PFR to a 86% VP$IP, 22% PFR:

[ QUOTE ]
hennie: idots like you dont fuvking last robin fuvking hood

[/ QUOTE ]

[Little Lew]

2/4 HE table at Trop in AC
New player,wearing camouflage jacket, green Army style pants, dark shades and a scowl, stuffs his beret in his belt and sits down. An older player across the table looks at him for a minute, leans over a says in a loud whisper: "Are we expecting an attack soon?"

New guy posts, spews chips for half an orbit and leaves.

[Grisgra]

"You don't know the poker."

[deathtoau]

Ok, since someone else revived this thread, I will add one from the taj 10/20 game from last week.

Full table with one table coach who had no clue what he was talking about but kept talking about pot odds, implied odds etc. totally out of context.

TC is UTG and raises pre-flop
7 see the flop for 2 bets that comes 3 [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] Q [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] 3 [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

SB bets, BB calls, TC raises, MP1 calls, folded to CO who calls, SB 3-bets all call.

5 to the turn of 3 [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] (3 [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] Q [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] 3 [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img])

SB bets, BB calls, TC raises, MP folds, CO 3-bets and SB caps. All call.

River comes 7 [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] (3 [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] 3 [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] Q [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] 3 [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img])

SB bets, BB raises, TC 3-bets, and CO caps, all call.

TC flips over Q4 [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] for the full house, CO shows KQ [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] and SB flips AQo. TC begins to yell at the BB asking what he could possible call all the bets with when all the queens were gone.

BB lets him go on for about 30 seconds then slowly flips the case 3 and says "What, the 3 of spades isn't good enough? I thought I had a good hand."

Everyone at the table but the TC busts out laughing. TC never said a word the rest of the night, went on tilt and proceeded to lose 3 full racks in the next hour and a half. Damn I love live poker. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Freakin]

Bump

[Sunshine]

who's J.A.?

[Rasputin]

At Foxwoods during one of their daily tourneys, there was a somewhat middle eastern looking guy who was generally being a bit loud and obnoxious seemingly to get people thinking about him more than their cards.

Guy next to me says to the middle eastern guy “So, you blow up any buildings lately?”

The middle eastern guy freaked, saying he was Israeli, had relatives blown up by a car bomb yada yada, went to other tables to tell people about it, and basically would not shut up about it. Hours later after the tournament is over I’m waiting for an Act I and there he is still talking about it.

[obsidian]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm probably going to hell for laughing at this. I was just playing .25/.50 NL on Stars and, long story short, this guy who, like way too many people, uses a "cute baby" picture as his avatar, took a terrible beat and started going off on the guy who sucked out on him. He spent literally 5 minutes dishing out every insult imaginable while the other guy kept silent. Finally, after saying nothing for 5 minutes, the other guy simply types in the chat box, "I hope your baby dies of cancer."

I literally fell out of my chair laughing.

[/ QUOTE ]
Wow, I laughed so hard at that. Yea, pretty sure I am going to hell.