What are your favorite lines spoken at the table?

[usmfan]

Duggle: As in "Don't pee on the seat."
Even though you've been a member longer than me, good to see you here. I kind of left the PSO forum once I found 2+2, not that I was a big contributor there or anything.

[CountDuckula]

[ QUOTE ]
I don't get it....

[/ QUOTE ]

Think toilet bowls.

-Mike

[ricochet420]

That is priceless. I'd head there right now, except I am home alone with the kids tonight.

[ QUOTE ]
I was at Fort McDowell in Phoenix last night for the nightly NL rebuy tournament. I am at a full table with a couple of old vets and a bunch of WPT want to be kids, unlit cigs, sunglasses, backwards baseball caps and all.

The kids where having a hard time acting in turn getting too excited about fighting it out with eachother.

So we have two kids and one of the old vets in a hand. Kid #1 makes it 4xBB to go from UTG+1, old vet calls from MP, Kid #2 calls from CO and Kid #3 calls from the BB. Flop comes AKx and Kid #1 pushes all-in and stand up from the table and starts to walk off like it was a WPT final table or something. The old vet is thinking about it when all of the sudden Kid #2 pushes all-in and stands up knocking his chair over and walks off too. Kid #3 mucks his cards and "Good Luck!". The dealer has both of their hands turned and is about to deal the turn when I point out that #2 and #3 acted out of turn and the old vet still had to act...

"Its OK, I really wanted to see what they were going to do before I acted anyway", called and showed his KK against the AK and Ax and busted both out with a big argument with the tournament director by the two kids wanting his hand killed because he did not act when it was his turn. LOL

[/ QUOTE ]

[ricochet420]

I've got to use that one next time.

[ QUOTE ]
An apparent new player to the game,

"why did the dealer take money out of the pot?"

[/ QUOTE ]

[PhatPots]

One of my friends is giving the other a hard time about one of his preflop calls. T3o or something and I say to the friend who is hasseling the newbie "See the problem is that your playing poker up here (Points to head), you have got to start plaing from down here (Points to Heart)."

Cheers,
Pots

[modaddy]

Last night, Garden City tourney. Two short stacks are all-in against a large stack.

Board is A8877. Large stack shows his hand, K9 and points to the K. BOTH short stacks disgustedly muck their hands.

[Jonny]

[ QUOTE ]
my personal favorite

"these players are so bad you just can't beat this game"

[/ QUOTE ]

This one is a classic

[shant]

Hollywood Park 6/12

Two guys (about my age, 20-somethings) are playing at my table. Clearly friends.

Friend #1 raises and he gets 7 calls, including his friend. Raiser bets a Q45 flop and his friend raises and announces I have a set, probably to get his friend to fold his pair. Everyone calls.

Turn is a Q, check to set guy and he announces his full house and bets. Everyone calls. River blanks and he bets and still gets callers and he shows his 55 and takes the pot.

Very next hand, he's involved, flop is 8TQ rainbow. He announces he has flopped a straight and bets. At this point I'm laughing and enjoying every minute of this because I just feel like he's being honest.

He bets the turn, still announcing the straight, and gets lots of callers. River blanks, and he flips over his J9o and bets. Everyone folds and one guy thinks about calling for a long time, like a really long time, then finally folds.

Now the whole table is making comments that the kid is setting us up for a bluff, and is wondering how many times he's really going to announce his hand.

Very next hand, he's in it, and the flop is 569 rainbow. I am not involved but I ask him, 78? He responds by check-raising the entire field, and announcing, "yes 78." Lots of calls.

Turn is a 3, he bets and gets called.

River is a 2, he bets and is called. He flips A4o for the runner-runner straight and takes the pot.

Best thing I've ever seen at the tables.

[toss]

[ QUOTE ]
"Which is better, three of a kind or a flush?"

[/ QUOTE ]

I'd wet my pants from joy if I ever heard that.

[Percula]

At the Fort in Phoenix last night play 3-6 after the NL tournament.

This older asian lady covered in gold and diamonds sits two to my right and buys in with a rack. She plays several hands and turns out to a be rather lucky calling station and is up to about $150. The table chip leader is going back and forth with her, making comments that are making her a little PO'ed.

Everyone is trying to get a peice of her action... I am on the button with 99 and have a TAG table image. Everyone limps, I raise, SB folds, BB calls, UTG calls (the guy that has taken the most bad beats from her), she calls and everyone else folds. Flop comes down 9Q9 with two clubs and I am really fighting the jumping for joy here! BB checks, UTG bets, lady raises, I raise, BB flods, UTG calls and the lady caps, call, call. Turn is T clubs, UTG bets, lady raises, I raise, UTG calls, she caps, call, call. River is K clubs (YES!!!), UTG checks, ladys bets, I raise, UTG thinks about it for a long time until the lady calls the clock, he folds, she raises.

I look over at her and say "you do know the betting rules heads up right?" She says, "yes, and we are going to the felt!" in an PO'ed tone of voice. I tell her "If that is what you want, I raise then". We start stacking back and forth and she is down to her last few bets and looks up at me and says "I know you have me beat, but there is no way I am folding here!" and I tell her "you know can just call if you want to save yourself a few chips". And she comes back with "But if I call I am going to lose!". The whole table and half the table next to us that were watching the action all broke out in laughter.

I finally call her when she has a couple of bets left and she shows to club rags for the flush and I show the quads. Without saying another word she gets up and leaves... we were all sad to see her go, but she will be back with more racks to take.