What are your favorite lines spoken at the table?

[TomCollins]

Playing 2/5 NL, in the CO with K4o, so I raise to $15. Called by the Button, (oops), and no one else. Flop comes KQ3. I check, he bets $20, and I call. Turn is some rag. I check, he bets $30 (ok, so he's got a piece of this flop but no king), I call. River I bet $50, he calls, tables AQs. I show him my K4o, and he goes nuts. "You are raising with a K4?"

My reply "I had a king, what was I supposed to do, fold?"

I got so much action after that, it wasn't even funny.

[AviD]

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Excellent line I hear while sitting a 20/40 at the Borgata this past weekend.

Two young college kids come by and see the time charge of $70 ($7 per player, per dealer) sitting on the drop, and observe a nice multiway pot building in the middle of table.

Then one of them blurts out, "OH MY GOD, IS THAT MUCH RAKED FROM EVERY POT?"

I reply, "Yep, $70 every hand"

They both take me very seriously, accept it for what it is, and move on to check out a NL game.

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I think this move was -EV.

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LOL they weren't planning on sitting, and the table was already ridiculously good. I didn't care if they sat, but wouldn't have minded it. But I don't think they were looking to play, they were just down from the club (drunk as hell) perusing the games and sweating the "high limit" room.

But you are correct, if I thought they were sitting down or looking to play, this would be grossly -EV...in essence shocking the fish with a stun gun! [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[tek]

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Game has tightened up, not much fun. Two players start to rack up. New kid sits down, hot chick girlfriend sits down behind, buys in for two racks ($$ from girl's purse).

Dealer asks if he wants to be dealt in, he asks, "Am I in the Big Bluff?"

Players begin unracking chips.

[/ QUOTE ]

ROFLMAO!

I've seen guys like that. One in particular was white but had a pimp hat. Girlfriend watching. He busts two racks quickly.

I don't see the benefit of having your GF with you when you play like shjt...

[Demana]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Game has tightened up, not much fun. Two players start to rack up. New kid sits down, hot chick girlfriend sits down behind, buys in for two racks ($$ from girl's purse).

Dealer asks if he wants to be dealt in, he asks, "Am I in the Big Bluff?"

Players begin unracking chips.

[/ QUOTE ]

ROFLMAO!

I've seen guys like that. One in particular was white but had a pimp hat. Girlfriend watching. He busts two racks quickly.

I don't see the benefit of having your GF with you when you play like shjt...

[/ QUOTE ]

Sympathy. She'll f[/i]uck his brains out afterwards to help him feel better.

[jedi]

My friend had this gem:

I call AQ the Drag Queen hand. It looks good enough to go all the way with, but in the end you just get dicked.

[peachy]

"Your a GIRL, you dont know how to play poker!!"

"You need to wear more clothes your a distraction"

[kemystery]

Ray Money (my pal, dropped at least 15K {that we know about} on Party Poker last year 2-4, 3-6,5-10,10-20 and NL, you guys probably follow him around)- anyways he invites me to the regular weekly game:

$1-2 blinds NL
7 handed approx $3000 on table (nice game, most of the guys are 'self employed' producers - the reason I brought it up)

In between hands my pal Ray starts telling me a bad beat story (his job is at a desk w/ tons of downtime, he plays all day): "So there's like 3 ppl in (incl. blinds, he later told me) so I limp in with like 6 rag ..." - and he's still talking about the hand, and I'm like 'what the fock is a 6 rag? and me and the other guys hooted on that one because they know this guy is big time Mahi-Mahi @ PP.

Maybe [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] you had to be there.

[golFUR]

I took my little brother to play at the $2-$5 spread limit (Colorado has a $5 max bet law) this weekend. I promised him that if he dropped more than $45 of his $100 buy in within the first hour and a half he could get up and go throw the rest away at blackjack. He agreed and we went over the ground rules: raise any of these hands from anywhere, call a raise with any of these hands, only play these for cheap or w/ good position, when he gets up by x amount he can do whatever he wants. I further assured him that his hands would shake every action for close to the first hour but that by the end of the second hour he'd be more than comfortable and would probably be fairly chatty w/ his neighbors. Aren't I the guru?

Of his first 30 pockets, 3 were Ks that held up and 2 were As that held up. He quickly earned a rep "Oh man, he's raising again, he never loses when he raises" I loved it, I was glad to see him doing well. The table was so loose/passive I could do pretty much anything I wanted and, aside from the dealer, there was rarely ever more than one other person who really knew what they were doing, who knew what the other guy was drawing to or when to push the middle pair and when to let it go.

So, we've got a loose/passive table, a superfish with a starting hand list and an old low limit "pro" as intent on the beers this evening as the cards.... hilarity ensues.

Hand, the first -

The setup: Bro is really worried about sucking someone out. He has seen my reactions while playing online and doesn't want to cause anyone that much grief. I assure him that if he sucks out on someone his reaction will be so honest he doesn't have to bother rehearsing it first.

Bro is single blind, 7 limp calls to him and he pops it to $7, the max raise, all call, naturally. Flop is J77 mixed and he checks. Checks around to button who bets $5, he raises and all fold to button, who calls. Turn is a J, he leads out $5, button raises to $10, he calls. River is a Q, he leads out $5, button raises to $10, he raises to $15, button calls and turns up JTo. He looks crestfallen and turns up QQ and drags it, (tips $2.50 like a good boy). Just like I promised, his honest reaction was enough to console her... he was out of his depth, early in his first session and nods at me as he says "I was told to play big pairs all the way... I think... wasn't I?" good laughs...

Hand, the second -

The setup: We've discussed the difference between THE NUTS, the nuts at this particular point in the hand and what many people at these loose/passive tables consider close enough to keep putting money in with.

Bro raises UTG and only gets four callers this time, for this table, that is real caution. Flop comes AKK and he leads right on out. His new buddy on his immediate left raises it, the next two fold and Bro thinks for a moment before calling. Turn is a blank, Bro leads out and is called. River a blank, Bro is looking uncomfortable at turn call and checks the river. The guy on his left is in no mood to bet either, flips up his K and inquires as to Bro's kicker. At this, Bro looks really upset and says "I don't have a kicker [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]" and flips up AA. All the while he is staring at the other guy's downcard, honestly thinking he has lost to quad Ks, before it sinks in "kicker, kicker, you only need those when you aren't playing all five cards". Drags another, many good laughs.

Hand, the third -

The setup: In getting him comfortable with the idea of sittin here I explain to him that it really isn't THAT expensive. While technically, he could blow nearly his entire buy-in in one hand, in actual play no more than one street is ever capped and all night long you might only see a small handful of caps. Sure enough, several hours in and we have yet to see a capped street. He knows though, that heads up "the cap goes away".

Bro is UTG and raises to $7, I am three seats to his left w/ AA... we had to play a hand at some time, I figure, and go ahead and reraise to $12. Naturally, everyone folds around to him and he reraises me to $17! I know instantly that he has the other two aces. There is no way on Earth he would reraise me with less. I and the dealer both realize immediately, nobody else is in on the joke. We cap it preflop, the flop brings no flush scares for either of us. At this point he confirms with the dealer that there is no cap, dealer nods and confirms 'as many bets as you two want'. He leads out $20. The dealer returns $15 to him and I call trying to do some quick math, are we going to pay max rake no matter what? When I determine we are I go ahead and ham it up for the turn and river. Again, nobody but I and the dealer aware (the dealer had actually, quietly, been splitting the pot ever since the flop and was keeping our extra bets separate).

A good time was had by all. Some other, choice, favorites from the evening:

"I had to play it(36o)! Have you seen all the 6s comin down tonight?!"

"You'll never win by folding!" (yeah? you won't lose either...)

"I don't like playing those (flashing me a TJo) with too many people in the pot, I like em heads up where you can beat their pair with a straight... They don't see that coming." Yeehaw! I'll bet they miss it when you go though.

"I didn't think you'd lead out the nuts." Yup, lead out nut flush in EP, LP raiser gets us all to put in two bets (thanks d00d!). I check turn and raise when it gets back around to me, two more bets from everyone. I lead out on river and make it three bets when it gets back to me, still everyone in and calling. With four people besides me in it, and everyone calling whatever comes to them... yeah mang, I'll lead out w/ the nuts on occassion...

[sgw]

From my home game the other night:

One of my friends Schu, getting ragged for splashing

"Don't splash the pot, Schu."

(Schu right back at them):
"Isn't that what your mom says to you when you visit?"


cheers
Real MaCoy

[DuggleBogey]

I don't get it....