What are your favorite lines spoken at the table?

[BarronVangorToth]

This situation occured in a recent trip to Tunica:

I held some big pocket pair, raised, reraised, and fired at the flop, reraised the flop, fired at the turn, and then the river came up really scary (four to a flush AND four to a straight). I had no part of the scariness, just the big overpair. I stopped for a split second as my mind registered the board and the guy I was heads up with said this to me:

"Don't do nuthin' ignorant now..."

I wondered if anyone in the history of the universe had ever spoken those words and then raised someone. So I bet and he folded.

Best.
Line.
Ever.


Barron Vangor Toth
www.BarronVangorToth.com
Doin' It Ignorant Now Since 1973

[Slow Play Ray]

At a home game involving a buddy's wife, who had previously taken to calling 55 "pocket measuring cups" (think about it)...she's trying to decide what to call 33, and declares them "pocket buttcheeks"...we all have a little laugh over it...very next hand goes to a showdown, with my buddy slamming down his cards declaring "I've got measuring cups full of buttcheeks"...don't think I've ever laughed so hard at a table.

[Slow Play Ray]

[ QUOTE ]
Donald the Dealer at Foxwoods the other night said "pimpin ain't easy" when he dealt two queens on the flop. That was HILARIOUS...

Also the fact that he gets more distracted by girls who walk by than most of the guys at the table.

[/ QUOTE ]

YES! That guy is a riot!

[Tacjedi]

We use that term for queens at home a lot too. I out of habit called pocket QQ a pocket pair of dykes once at the B&M and everyone laughed as if the term was never used before. They loved it.

Also I do not intend to offend so please accept my preemptive apology if I have.

[Tacjedi]

I heard this one recently, The Lonely Man’s Hand

<font color="red"> KJo </font>

Say it fast if you dont get it.

[macdaddy991]

TAJ AC. Get pocket aces in BB raise and get 6 callers. Flop all clubs (I have the ace) turn is fourth club. I check raise and get 4 callers. As the river is being dealt, the BB flips over the K of clubs. I looked at him and said "sir the hand is not over" and bet. All four called me even after seeing the K exposed. If only poker were always like this

[elwoodblues]

[ QUOTE ]
I heard this one recently, The Lonely Man’s Hand
KJo

Say it fast if you dont get it.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's JKo, not KJo

[Russ McGinley]

This thread rules. Good for laughs.

Earlier today I played in PSO Championship tourney. As soon as the final table starts, chip leader finds the guy who is second and blurts "Guess it'll be up to me and you!" This naturally goes over real well with the rest of us. Winds up the chip leader and me heads up, he has around a 10-1 lead and is proclaiming victory. I double through him after a few hands then I move in with K9. He calls with TT. Board finishes 6-7-8-5-4. He's now about a 2-1 leader. I double through him again and am now the leader and I can feel him crying inside.

Final hand, K7o in BB. He completes and I check. Flop is 9-7-6. Check, check. Turn is another 7, check, check. River is a five. I bet a little and he goes all in. I type "I hope you don't have an 8" and call. He shows pocket aces and I win. As we are finishing our "gg"'s, he makes this cryptic statement:

"Just remember one thing... I should have won with those tens."

I thank him for his input and congratulate him on his second place finish.

[unformed]

playing at a home game. one guy pushes all his chips in and says "full house ..... um, i mean all in." needless to say, everyone folded.

[wray]

I had just taken a bad beat and the waitress asked me if I wanted anything.

I said "A valiuum and a vomit bag,thanks"