Why am I such a pussy?

[Los Feliz Slim]

OK, I was once like this and I feel bad for you, so I'm going to try to help. Stop doing what you think women want you to do, and start doing what you want to do. Women - and people in general - like confidence, not doormats. And you are a doormat. This doesn't mean be an asshole all the time, it means be an asshole when you feel like being an asshole and be nice when you feel like being nice. This way, you are you instead of some meaningless creation. Until you start doing for yourself, you don't actually exist, and who wants to be with someone who doesn't exist?

Unfortunately, it is highly likely you won't be able to comprehend the above until you've been kicked around so long that you get completely sick of it and have no other choice. But when that happens, you will be a happier man.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
OK, I was once like this and I feel bad for you, so I'm going to try to help. Stop doing what you think women want you to do, and start doing what you want to do. Women - and people in general - like confidence, not doormats. And you are a doormat. This doesn't mean be an asshole all the time, it means be an asshole when you feel like being an asshole and be nice when you feel like being nice. This way, you are you instead of some meaningless creation. Until you start doing for yourself, you don't actually exist, and who wants to be with someone who doesn't exist?

[/ QUOTE ]

This is a truly excellent post!

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OK, I was once like this and I feel bad for you, so I'm going to try to help. Stop doing what you think women want you to do, and start doing what you want to do. Women - and people in general - like confidence, not doormats. And you are a doormat. This doesn't mean be an asshole all the time, it means be an asshole when you feel like being an asshole and be nice when you feel like being nice. This way, you are you instead of some meaningless creation. Until you start doing for yourself, you don't actually exist, and who wants to be with someone who doesn't exist?

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Very well said and so true! Excellent post!

[Warik]

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Stop doing what you think women want you to do, and start doing what you want to do.

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Listen to this man.

The first time I tried it, it worked. Confidence ftw.

[Los Feliz Slim]

A good friend of mine and I were drinking on a Tuesday morning in college when it all became clear. He was in love with his best "friend" woman, I was getting played like a violin by a hot girl who was using me. We decided, finally, we were done. We called it the Dawn Of the New Era - D.O.N.E.

I can honestly say everything changed that winter morning. I got rid of the woman who was making me miserable and into several meaningful (and not so meaningful) relationships that were fulfilling in many ways, culminating in my marriage. My friend is currently married to his "friend" from way back, and they have an eight month old daughter.

D.O.N.E. Learn it, love it, live it.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
A good friend of mine and I were drinking on a Tuesday morning in college when it all became clear. He was in love with his best "friend" woman, I was getting played like a violin by a hot girl who was using me. We decided, finally, we were done. We called it the Dawn Of the New Era - D.O.N.E.

I can honestly say everything changed that winter morning. I got rid of the woman who was making me miserable and into several meaningful (and not so meaningful) relationships that were fulfilling in many ways, culminating in my marriage. My friend is currently married to his "friend" from way back, and they have an eight month old daughter.

D.O.N.E. Learn it, love it, live it.

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Awesome! I think we all know this is correct. We just forget it at times. So your friend actually worked his way out from under the "friend" thing?

[Los Feliz Slim]

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So your friend actually worked his way out from under the "friend" thing?

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I'll tell you what he did. THAT VERY AFTERNOON he marched over to her apartment and told her that the "friend" thing wasn't going to work. She could be with him, or with the jackass she was dating, but he wasn't going to stand around and watch her date these asshats while he pines away. She had a choice to make, and she made the correct choice. She broke up with her current boyfriend, who was a cock, and they started dating immediately. They've been together ever since (this all happened in 1994). It's truly inspirational.

[Yako]

Tell your friend I said he's a beast! That must have taken a lot of guts to do. Glad it all worked out for him. Wish I had that kind of confidence.

[jakethebake]

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Tell your friend I said he's a beast! That must have taken a lot of guts to do. Glad it all worked out for him. Wish I had that kind of confidence.

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That is pretty awesome. I've done similar in the past but I don't think I've actually worked out from being a friend to fuckable except in the fuck-buddies instance. Where I get in trouble is where I actually want to be friends with the girl but actually also want to bang her. I usually end up settling for friends in these cases. That's fine. I have no problem with it. I still maintain that fuck-buddies is a truly awesome thing when it works.

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I'll tell you what he did. THAT VERY AFTERNOON he marched over to her apartment and told her that the "friend" thing wasn't going to work. She could be with him, or with the jackass she was dating, but he wasn't going to stand around and watch her date these asshats while he pines away. She had a choice to make, and she made the correct choice. She broke up with her current boyfriend, who was a cock, and they started dating immediately. They've been together ever since (this all happened in 1994). It's truly inspirational.

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I've tried this with 2 women who I was 'friends' with. With one, I had the best relationship of my life. The other, we just sort of faded away. But, I felt better even if I did "ruin the friendship". If you find yourself in that position, I whole-heartedly suggest making the move.