Krishan's Limrick Contest

[krimson]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You've been here for quite some time
That's why I write this rhyme
You should know by now
Don't have a cow
That post wasn't worth a dime

If you're new then please resist
The urge to make posts like this
You'll need to read
Or else you'll bleed
Your chips cuz you're the fish

Either way I must implore
If you're unable to make a score
Please end this thread
Just go and spread
Your legs and bonus whore

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Beautiful. You get my vote.

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I second this vote. Best so far.

[Chobohoya]

When you've only played 5 thousand hands,
Frustration might make its demands,
But all long term winners
Might take you to dinner,
And say "Shut up! Post some hands!"

These stat posts will never go well,
Your BR will never quite swell,
Instead of studying hard,
You post stats like a tard,
And now won't you please go to hell.

[deception5]

[ QUOTE ]
Beautiful. You get my vote.

I second this vote. Best so far.

Agreed. I think it's the current front runner. A little more insults wouldn't have been bad but it's very clever.


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Thanks all... wasn't sure if you wanted it to be extremely insulting or just mildly offensive [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[Catt]

[ QUOTE ]
There once was a board full of poker players
Who all thought fish were dumb haters
who gave them all money
like sweet wine and honey
but they all sucked at reading comprehension because the first post clearly stats that there must be 3 stanzas in order to compete in the competition

Krishan

[/ QUOTE ]

This is the front runner.

[deception5]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
There once was a board full of poker players
Who all thought fish were dumb haters
who gave them all money
like sweet wine and honey
but they all sucked at reading comprehension because the first post clearly stats that there must be 3 stanzas in order to compete in the competition

Krishan

[/ QUOTE ]

This is the front runner.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is pretty damn funny [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[fyodor]

Ok I broke down and did 3 verses. Last entry I swear to god:

There once was a poster named you
Who exhibited nary a clue
We love to deride
Your posts about slides
And make you look like a fool

If it's sympathy that you came here to find
You're completely out of your mind
Go back to women's t.v.
Instead of pestering me
Stat posts aren't our favourite kind

You've been running bad for 8k
That's not much more than a day
You came here to win
And we let you in
Please just shut up and play

[Chobohoya]

Yet more revision:

When you've only played 5 thousand hands,
Frustration might make its demands,
But all long term winners
Might take you to dinner,
And say "Shut up! Post some hands!"

These stat posts will never go well,
Your BR will never quite swell,
Instead of studying hard,
You post stats like a tard,
And now won't you please go to hell.

If this post shows the best from your mind,
I think that you're going to find,
You have no more money,
One of us took it-- how funny!
Keep playing, if you'd be so kind.

[Surfbullet]

[ QUOTE ]
You know variance should be your friend,
It's a long road that will never end,
If you see lots of callers,
You'll get all the dollars,
And end up with more money to spend.

If you move up cause players are bad,
You read on a forum it's rad,
Instead of reading good books,
You're whining 'bout hooks,
For you poker is just a fad.

These stat posts will never go well,
Your BR will never quite swell,
Instead of studying hard,
You post stats like a tard,
And now won't you please go to hell.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is awesome, literally LOL'd. The 2nd stanza needs some help though, it doesn't do justice to the first and the third [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Surf

[TStoneMBD]

Poker is not meant for you
Back to school you should do
To your chagrin
You clearly can't win
You career in poker is through

Please stop posting this [censored]
Go take your life and quit
I'm putting you on ignore
Oh by the way raise more
Stop being a stupid nit

In life you'll never excel
You're a disgrace to your mother as well
So end all the strife
Slit your wrists with a knife
Have fun while you're burning in hell

[Eratik]

Seems 10/20 is doing me in
Is this ace-high value-bet too thin?
Oh he went runner-runner
With two suited unders
It's all variance except when I win

OK this is getting retarded
It's one thing to get cold-carded
But a four-hundred bet swing
Is a whole other thing
A post to the forums should get me re-started

Well that didnt go quite as intended
The pros say these results are expected
I only got sympathy
From poor players like me
I'll just make sure my game is perfected