Should I force my Mom's Hand????

[Talk2BigSteve]

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Since u said the house is suppose to be split 3 ways when ur mom dies i think it ends up being a pretty easy call then. I dont know ur brother or sister but im about 90% sure they will turn into back stabers when it comes down to it and the money will seem very nice. So i would have to move out or force your mom to put the house in ur name or get ur bro and sis to contribute. Im only saying this about when ur mom dies from experice. I have seen this happen alot and it can really screw families up. Money really is the rude of all evil.

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My Brother looks at the situation this way, he graduated high school at 18 and joined the military, and he has never asked for a dime since.

My Sister is the evil money whore who I do not speak to.

Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[Talk2BigSteve]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Since u said the house is suppose to be split 3 ways when ur mom dies i think it ends up being a pretty easy call then. I dont know ur brother or sister but im about 90% sure they will turn into back stabers when it comes down to it and the money will seem very nice. So i would have to move out or force your mom to put the house in ur name or get ur bro and sis to contribute. Im only saying this about when ur mom dies from experice. I have seen this happen alot and it can really screw families up. Money really is the rude of all evil.

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This is a very good answer actually. If you're paying for the house, then it should be yours. Otherwise you're just giving the money to your siblings.

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I agree with you.

Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[Talk2BigSteve]

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Worry less about the house situation than your relationship with your mother. Two things stand out to me, one she is taking advantage of you and two she is not accepting of your chosen lifestyle. Now I have lived in the south and have several close friends from MS so I can understand #2 to some degree but still, you must resolve the issue.

After that you can worry about the financial issues however I suspect that resolving the relationship issues will largely resolve the financial ones. Didn't you just quit your job or am I thinking of someone else?

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I did just quit my job, but I have plenty of income to get by for a good couple of years.

Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[BoogerFace]

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dude, you are getting seriously hosed. try this:

sometimes the best thing for a person you love isn't what they'd prefer. you love your mom, right?


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I agree. But BigSteve, you have to move out. It's not healthy for any adult to live with their mother. And I'm not just talking about the no sex issue.

[Talk2BigSteve]

I found out that she just had the house appraised a few months ago for $119K.

The Original Price my father got the house for in 1990 was $74,300. Even after the 125% equity loan she still will make a small profit if she sells the house.

We are in one of the best School Districts in the state so houses go fast. I told her that if there is a profit from the house that it will be split 50/50 with me. Then any money that she owes me above that will be set up on a $200 a month payment plan through her estate lawyer and either the balance will be paid in full before she passes away, or it will be paid in full from Life Insurance after she passes away, and before any funds are split.

I told here that my father was a great man, and I loved him as well but his memories need to be in your heart not in your house.

I gave her a date April 15th, 6 months from now, to have the house sold, This is also the last day that she works at H&R Block each year.

I told her the things that I wanted left to me of my fathers.

We are going to the Lawyer on Monday afternoon to get it all written up. My bank is pulling all my checking information for the past 5 years to see how much money I have actually had to give my mother.


I told her that I will alway love her, but I put my life on hold for you for 5 years and now is the time that we both need to pick up the pieces and move on.


Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[4_2_it]

I trust your mother is comfortable with all of these conditions (which are extremely reasonable)? I hope everything works out for both of you.

[Shajen]

[ QUOTE ]
I found out that she just had the house appraised a few months ago for $119K.

The Original Price my father got the house for in 1990 was $74,300. Even after the 125% equity loan she still will make a small profit if she sells the house.

We are in one of the best School Districts in the state so houses go fast. I told her that if there is a profit from the house that it will be split 50/50 with me. Then any money that she owes me above that will be set up on a $200 a month payment plan through her estate lawyer and either the balance will be paid in full before she passes away, or it will be paid in full from Life Insurance after she passes away, and before any funds are split.

I told here that my father was a great man, and I loved him as well but his memories need to be in your heart not in your house.

I gave her a date April 15th, 6 months from now, to have the house sold, This is also the last day that she works at H&R Block each year.

I told her the things that I wanted left to me of my fathers.

We are going to the Lawyer on Monday afternoon to get it all written up. My bank is pulling all my checking information for the past 5 years to see how much money I have actually had to give my mother.


I told her that I will alway love her, but I put my life on hold for you for 5 years and now is the time that we both need to pick up the pieces and move on.


Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

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Good job Steve.

[jaydub]

[ QUOTE ]
I found out that she just had the house appraised a few months ago for $119K.

The Original Price my father got the house for in 1990 was $74,300. Even after the 125% equity loan she still will make a small profit if she sells the house.

We are in one of the best School Districts in the state so houses go fast. I told her that if there is a profit from the house that it will be split 50/50 with me. Then any money that she owes me above that will be set up on a $200 a month payment plan through her estate lawyer and either the balance will be paid in full before she passes away, or it will be paid in full from Life Insurance after she passes away, and before any funds are split.

I told here that my father was a great man, and I loved him as well but his memories need to be in your heart not in your house.

I gave her a date April 15th, 6 months from now, to have the house sold, This is also the last day that she works at H&R Block each year.

I told her the things that I wanted left to me of my fathers.

We are going to the Lawyer on Monday afternoon to get it all written up. My bank is pulling all my checking information for the past 5 years to see how much money I have actually had to give my mother.


I told her that I will alway love her, but I put my life on hold for you for 5 years and now is the time that we both need to pick up the pieces and move on.


Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

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Good move.

On the house sale, just make sure you understand the costs of closing and don't overestimate the amount of profit you will see. That is one of the most common mistakes I have seen people make when selling their home.

[vulturesrow]

Steve,

I have a lot of respect for how you handled this (and I dont mean by posting on OOT). You were able to balance your commitment and love for you mom with the necessity of having to build more of a life for yourself. It seems like in the end you were able to handle it with a great deal of aplomb and dignity. Kudos to you. I hope that if I am ever in a similar situation that I will be able to handle it as well you have. Good luck.

[OrianasDaad]

I think you already know what you want to do. Why come here for comfirmation/vindication?