guys, what do you do in this situation?

[Sooga]

Hmm, this is making me think... and although when we go out to an actual restaurant (where a typical dinner is > $25), then we always split it, but on little things like this, I seem to pay... then on the occasions where she's bought stuff, and I gave her money, she always accepts it and never says "don't worry about it".... hmm...

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I would probably go home and check on ebay to see if I can get some fake quizno's gift certificates for a low price.

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[bd8802]

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Ok, so is it a monetary issue then? Say we went somewhere like this and for whatever reason, the total was like $20 each. Is it still the same?

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I still vote "who [censored] cares". My friends and I do this all the time. We got out eat and get a few drink, one of us pays. The other one pays the next time. And so on. It is not that big of deal. Sometimes I pay more, sometimes they do. If your friendship hindges upon a few bucks (I bought Fat Tire last time and you only bought Bud Light you worthless [censored]) ... there are bigger issues here.

[Sooga]

You're right.... and now that I'm thinking about it, I can't remember an instance where she's ever paid. Not sure why I didn't realize it til now.

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
Hmm, this is making me think... and although when we go out to an actual restaurant (where a typical dinner is > $25), then we always split it, but on little things like this, I seem to pay... then on the occasions where she's bought stuff, and I gave her money, she always accepts it and never says "don't worry about it".... hmm...

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solution: stop offering her money on some (all?) ocassions where she buys stuff. then you don't have to count on her saying "don't worry about it" in order to keep the money.
it seems fair.

[Sooga]

Yes, but you figure if she really were a 'friend' she would do that.. but if she doesn't, then hmm....

I do indeed have some bigger issues to think about.

[bd8802]

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You're right.... and now that I'm thinking about it, I can't remember an instance where she's ever paid. Not sure why I didn't realize it til now.

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If you are getting screwed long term ... then you should just stop paying for the little things. Don't go out of your way to do so cause if this is really a healthy 9 year friendship it is not worth making a scene out of a few bucks here or there.

Something to think about though.

[gorie]

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Yes, but you figure if she really were a 'friend' she would do that.. but if she doesn't, then hmm....

I do indeed have some bigger issues to think about.

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not necessarily. she probably assumes that when you offer her money, you're offering her money. not that you're fake-offering in hopes of a "no no, you keep it."
don't offer something you don't really want to pay...

she probably doesn't think you mind it. if she knew it was a problem, i'm sure she'd pay more.

[RunDownHouse]

I was wondering where you'd gone.

Like most others have said, just pay. Since this seems to be a more frequent thing, however, really examine your relationship and decide if this is the kind of person with whom you want to be friends. My group of frriends is very easy going and reciprocating with buying rounds and stuff like that, but I know plenty of people who aren't.

EDIT: I agree about the Commodus account, by the way. Got a chuckle.

[astroglide]

wow, this guy really picks his spots. so far two thumbs up for commodus.