Chilling vs. Dating

[siccjay]

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If you like each other and you're hanging out repeatedly, you're dating.

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Not true.

While guys think like this, girls can actually have guy "friends." It makes it easier for them. They can get free [censored] and have a shoulder to cry on without having to put out.

[siccjay]

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Things are going well right now. The two of you seem to be on the same page. Don't worry too much about how the relationship is going to evolve. Just enjoy each others company as you have been thus far.


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Ahhhh but would he have posted here if things were going so well? He wants more from this girl. It's a very common occurrence in the world. The guy "waits it out" and the girl throws him in the friends category.


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People are always looking to rigidly define relationships. I'm not sure why.

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Simple, he wants the poon. He wants to make the relationship sexual. He wants her to be his "girl." Guys are never satisfied by being a "friend." Chicks can be.

You can say to yourself that you wouldn't mind being her friend, but you know it's not true. It would be unhealthy.

[MoreWineII]

By like, I meant like like. Not just like. If that makes any difference.

[siccjay]

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By like, I meant like like. Not just like. If that makes any difference.

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I see what you are saying, but girls can easily not think of the guy like that while the guy thinks they do. They are very sneaky sneaky.

[NoOuts]

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What does your sponsor think?

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We absolutely insist on enjoying life. If I am completely honest and comfortable with whatever is going on, and neither of us is getting hurt, there is no problem.

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What does her sponsor think?

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Tom is good people.

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Well, they know you best.
Just be honest with yourself and your sponsor.
Good luck.

[DavidC]

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I have a reputation I guess for being a "safe/non-preditor" guy as far as AA people go.

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Is there any chance you could get a framed certificate that said that? [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

So far it sounds like a great thing you have.

I'd be a little concerned about things slipping into a platonic relationship (which is a good thing, but not as life-enhancing as it could be).

My best advice is to make a move sooner rather than later, but do something romantic with this opportunity rather than a sloppy attempt at kissing her or whatnot. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

However, I'm in exactly your position as far as relationships go, so take this for what it's worth. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Good luck, man. Nice post.

Oh yeah, and in general you shouldn't get into a relationship with a woman who's pooper is too big, but you seem to get along really well, so we'll "let it slide" this time.

[The Stranger]

I think I realized something.

People who are "newcomers" usually are coming from a place of complete devestation of their lives, but aren't very good at talking about it.

So she wants a man to help her feel secure, but does not want all the bullshiit games and drama that go along with it. She sees me as someone who is sweet, supportive, and safe. She's looking for something different than what she was doing before.

So what I think I'll do, is keep doing the same thing, unless something comes up where I can't anymore.

And if/when she wants things to go further, I'm sure she'll make it clear, and I'll do what feels right from there. She seems to be that type of girl.

Many thanks to all who have replied.

Life is an adventure.