friend problem

[JaBlue]

hopey I appreciate your input in this thread but the beers option is impossible with this guy. I tried to get him to talk about it face to face but he refused. That makes the letter option pretty much the only viable one. I am not a woman.

[JaBlue]

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A real friend won't spare your feelings.


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I don't know what you mean by this. can you explain?

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I think the fact that you even posted on this board looking for advice is an indication that you're not very comfortable with what you did.


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Right. I feel like I'm in the wrong and I would like to repair our friendship.

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It sounds like you shot first and are now trying to justify what you did.


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The slutty girlfriend was practically pulling me into her but I'm not going to tell my friend that. I would think it would help my case if he were thinking logically but its just something he doesn't want to hear.

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For future reference, just suck it up and tell him. Its passive/aggressive otherwise, and its something your mother does when she's angry at you.

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Yeah, I wish I would have taken this route. That lesson's learned and I also don't plan to be [censored] any more friends' ex-girlfriends.

How is the act passive-aggressive? I don't get it.

[banditbdl]

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He was dating somebody else and was apparently "crazy about her", though. Once a friend has moved on, the ex is fair game.


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This is completely wrong. If the guy is a close friend and he had a strong relationship with this girl then the ex is never fair game. NEVER

[RRRRICK]

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Tell your friend to stop being such a girl.

They broke up. You hooked up. End of story. She does not 'belong' to him, especially after they have an ugly breakup. He needs to get over that.

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Thank God neither of you are friends of mine.
Certain women are off limits with relation to friends.

A friends mother, sister(s),ex wife, ex girl friends.

By ex girl friend I mean long relationship where feelings were invloved.

How would you feel if a close friend boned your divorced mum because they were both horny.

I and friends have boned several women in comman, sometimes simultaneously. There's a difference between sharing pussy and disrespectfully boning a friends ex.

It shows a lack of loyalty and I would have kicked your ass.

[HopeydaFish]

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He was dating somebody else and was apparently "crazy about her", though. Once a friend has moved on, the ex is fair game.


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This is completely wrong. If the guy is a close friend and he had a strong relationship with this girl then the ex is never fair game. NEVER

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It depends on the guy. Some guys don't get worked up about such things. Some guys get worked up on the inside, but don't show it on the outside because they know the anger inside will eventually go away. And some guys are like the OP's friend who will let a one night stand that happened months ago ruin their friendship.

[HopeydaFish]

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hopey I appreciate your input in this thread but the beers option is impossible with this guy. I tried to get him to talk about it face to face but he refused. That makes the letter option pretty much the only viable one. I am not a woman.

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I guess you have nothing to lose with the letter, but I wouldn't get my hopes up. Sounds like the guy has already written you off.

It's impossible to reason with the jealous types when women are involved. Some guys grow out of it eventually. Losing friendships over women isn't worth it.

[Runner Runner]

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Quote:


This is completely wrong. If the guy is a close friend and he had a strong relationship with this girl then the ex is never fair game. NEVER

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There is some wiggle room on that rule. It is not so cut and dry.

I think that under the circumstances the O.P's actions aren't to be applauded, but they aren't entirely unreasonable either. It is up to the O.P to explain to his buddy that (A) alcohol was a big factor (B) he never thought they would get back together (C) use the old "put yourself in my shoes". Besides she was greasing him up more then he was going after her, (this shouldn't be brought up with the buddy though).

If this occured while the two were dating, then for sure the friendship between the two guys may be damaged beyond repair, but under these circumstances an honest explanation should mend things with a reasonable person.

[TxSteve]

i lived this situation once; many years ago.

our friendship was gone.

a few years passed; and we eventually became friends again

[siccjay]

Us guys are weird. He shouldn't give a [censored] but of course he does. 99% of us guys would care. He must still have some type of feelings or this girl so there is nothing you can do. It might blow over, it might not. Don't write a letter though, thats pretty gay.

[jakethebake]

In a couple of years you'll both go away to different colleges and you'll probably never have to see him again. Don't worry about it.