Tipping etiqutte, should I feel bad/cheap?

[HopeydaFish]

I'm always reluctant to complain *before* I'm done eating. I don't want them spitting (or worse) in my food in retaliation.

I will leave a very small tip, but I doubt that most servers really take it to heart and know that they did something wrong when they get a small tip. There are exceptions to this rule, of course.

I've gotten so disgusted with service before that I've emailed the manager (when the restaurant had a website) after I've gotten home. I've never really gotten a satisfactory response out of a manager the three times I've emailed. They apologize, but it feels more like a form letter than anything.

[Felix_Nietsche]

Leaving a tiny tip sends a more powerful message than no tip. Leave $0.50... One point most people don't usually realize is:

PEOPLE DO NOT GO TO RESTAURANTS FOR FOOD. THEY HAVE FOOD AT HOME. THEY GO FOR SERVICE.

You did not get the service you paid for therefore the waitress derserves nothing. I went to an upscale cafe once and ordered a oriental chicken salad with the dressing on the side. Instead they put they dressing on the salad. The dressing was disgusting and I couldn't eat it. Our waiter had just dumped the food at our table and left before I realize they did not put the dressing on the side. After 10 minutes, I got tired of waiting for my waiter so I grabbed my salad and walked into the waiter station next to the kitchen. Now keep in mind this was a very nice cafe and they were trying very hard to promote this high end image. So I just start standing in the middle of the waiter area while they are grabbing food from the kitchen and I did not say a word. What happen next was PRICELESS. The looks of confusion and discomfort from the other wait staff was hilarious. After about 45 seconds a very embarassed manager approached me to settle my problem. Then my AWOL waiter came and there was a look of HORROR on his face when he saw me talking to his manager. I returned to my table and after that I got plenty of attention and SERVICE.

Instead of getting mad and irritated, walk up from the table, go to the kitchen and ask the cook if he will take your order for food (this will make you then center of attention, be VERY NICE about it, have a good FAKE friendly face). 95% of the time the manager will come to you to solve your waitress problem. A secondary benefit is your waitress will be deeply embarassed and so you send a powerful message to her without having to be a prick. If you are on a first date, this is a bit trickier because your date may get embarrassed. If it is me, I'd still do it. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[The Goober]

[ QUOTE ]
What really irritates me is when I'm doing my job, but some other factor is keeping someone's food from coming out quickly.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think about this a lot. If I get lousy service, how do I know it's not just the kitchen being slow, or maybe the manager didn't hire enough people to work that night? I hate to punish the server for other's mistakes, but I think I'm a little too quick to still tip 20% for what is just plain bad service.

Since you're in the biz, any suggestions on how to tell if it really is the server's fault and a bad tip is appropriate (other than obvious things like rudeness)?

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]


PEOPLE DO NOT GO TO RESTAURANTS FOR FOOD. THEY HAVE FOOD AT HOME. THEY GO FOR SERVICE.



[/ QUOTE ]

I'm pretty sure i go out to eat for food.

[Felix_Nietsche]

Don't ever open your own restaurant.
You will lose all your money.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
Don't ever open your own restaurant.
You will lose all your money.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not planning on it. Just saying that I don't always go for service. I've gone to eat places where the service is horrible but the food is delicious or the place is convenient.

[nothumb]

[ QUOTE ]
Instead of getting mad and irritated, walk up from the table, go to the kitchen and ask the cook if he will take your order for food (this will make you then center of attention, be VERY NICE about it, have a good FAKE friendly face). 95% of the time the manager will come to you to solve your waitress problem. A secondary benefit is your waitress will be deeply embarassed and so you send a powerful message to her without having to be a prick. If you are on a first date, this is a bit trickier because your date may get embarrassed. If it is me, I'd still do it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Awful, awful advice. This would definitely constitute 'being a prick' and I'd wager you've gotten more than your fair share of loogie burgers as a result. The cook doesn't want to talk to you and he knows you're full of it with your big fake smile. People like you always get the worst possible service because everyone can tell you're going to leave a pitiful tip for whatever reason you feel like anyway.

Generally the advice in this thread is pretty good. If it's a place I intend to go back to often, I'll speak with the waitress directly or, if I know the girl doesn't work that much, leave a 12% tip or so. If I'm never going back, or don't care, I would go for about 5% here and not say anything.

Typically you can prevent problems like this by saying something simple like, "A round of [your beer here], and keep 'em coming please." If it's been slow to that point you can say the same when the food comes.

This kind of poor treatment happens to me very rarely because I try to establish a rapport early on. Try it, works wonders.

NT

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i'll hijack this for a second and recommend no one ever date a waitress. i've tipped 40%+ on almost every meal so far.

[/ QUOTE ]

If my girlfriend were a waitress or bar tender, I would tip exactly 0%.
<font color="white"> does this make me a bastard? </font>


-blake

[/ QUOTE ]

I am pretty sure OP here was talking about when you go on a date with a bartender/waitress, you end up tipping excessively.

[/ QUOTE ]

The same thing is true if you date a stripper.

[Felix_Nietsche]

This would definitely constitute 'being a prick'
************************************************** ******
It is true that I'm a prick and I see no reason to apologize for it. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]


People like you always get the worst possible service because everyone can tell you're going to leave a pitiful tip for whatever reason you feel like anyway.
************************************************** ******
LOL.......actually I almost always get very good service. Being from Texas, I find the wait staff to be superior than I find in most states. And I am not alone in this opinion. When I lived in Colorado, me and my fellow Texans were pleasantly suprised whenever we got good service at restaurants. For some reason wait staff in that state seems to lack the work ethic that I was use to in Texas. My tips vary from 10% for subpar service to 20% for very good service. BOTTOM LINE: You don't know what your talking about.....as usual.

[TheCroShow]

[ QUOTE ]
This would definitely constitute 'being a prick'
************************************************** ******
It is true that I'm a prick and I see no reason to apologize for it. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]


People like you always get the worst possible service because everyone can tell you're going to leave a pitiful tip for whatever reason you feel like anyway.
************************************************** ******
LOL.......actually I almost always get very good service. Being from Texas, I find the wait staff to be superior than I find in most states. And I am not alone in this opinion. When I lived in Colorado, me and my fellow Texans were pleasantly suprised whenever we got good service at restaurants. For some reason wait staff in that state seems to lack the work ethic that I was use to in Texas. My tips vary from 10% for subpar service to 20% for very good service. BOTTOM LINE: You don't know what your talking about.....as usual.

[/ QUOTE ]

you raise a good point. i just moved from the mid-west, lived in oklahoma and had family in texas. so the times we went out for dinner the service was amazing. got our menus right away, got our drinks right away, the instant we put our menus down our order was taken, drinks were refilled constantly, food came out, waiter/waitress took care of us and bam..food finished, would you like anything else? nope...maybe i took that service for granted heh