What are your favorite lines spoken at the table?

[prayformojo]

My 10/20 game broke up and I moved to a 9-to-a-flop, 5-in-on-showdown 5/10 table. Three hands in, the guy to my left leans over and whispers:

"Which is better, three of a kind or a flush?"

Hurrah. If only I had got a single playable hand.

[CWolf]

I was playing at Canterbury, and I'm sitting 3/6 (so sue me, I'm 20 years old with no bankroll), and somebody raises in middle position. Guy to my immediate right reraises immediately. 2 people call his reraise. I forget how the hand played out, but he ended up showing down a 58s.

I asked him "Why did you reraise with 58s?"

He replies: "I was trying to isolate."

I had a REALLY hard time keeping a straight face.

At some point I said something along the lines of "Position is extremely important in Texas Hold'em."

He laughs at me: "Well, just don't ever write a book, because position means nothing."

I won 400 that day, and he dropped 250. Yep. You got me.

[CWolf]

Another fun one.

We're playing a home game, 20 dollar buyin, .25/.5 blinds.

One guy has KQ, board shows Qxxx, and he bets all in.

Other guy looks at his cards, says "This is a terrible call.", calls, and flips over JJ.

Rivers a J. He laughs, and says "That's what you get for going all in."

[Phoenix1010]

Live tournament. I'm very shortstacked in the cutoff. Folded to me, I push KQ all-in. Button and SB fold. BB is big stack of the table, and is getting 3 and a half to 1 odds to call, but he's hesitating. No one who knows how to play poker even considers folding any two cards here, but somehow he seems almost about to lay it down. I get excited, I'm about to double up without a showdown. He shakes his head and starts to fold, and then stops and says to no one in particular "well you know, the flops have been coming low these past few times." He calls with 27o and the flop did indeed come low; he spiked a seven to knock me out. The hand is nothing to complain about, but his logic is simply priceless. At least I got a good story out of it.

Regards,
Steve

[CWolf]

Black shizzle in the hizzle!

[Go Blue]

Ok, I love this one: Waiting for a seat at a 3/6 Limit table at Soaring Eagle. A new table opens up and this idiot sits down to my right. I'll try to recall this in order as best I can, let's see...

I have AA UTG, raise...everyone folds, he 3 bets. Flop is something like 679 rainbow. He bets, I raise, he calls. Turn 8. He bets, I think about it and fold, showing him the aces.

In Mid position, I have QTo, and limp. No raises preflop. Flop comes QQx. I slowplay the flop, then bet out after that. Turn and river are rags or so. After the river, and my bet, he's the only one who hasn't folded. He thinks about it really hard, then folds. I show him the ten. He says "damn, you didn't have anything, I knew I should have called." I say "what did you have?" and he says "an ace."

Needless to say, after this hand, after which he though I'm a bluffer, he wound up paying me off several times.

Here's the last one: I wasn't involved in this pot, but several players limp preflop, and the flop comes 776, two suited. Someone bets, someone else raises, this guy calls. The turn is a 9, making a flush possible. The raiser bets, 2 people, including this guy, call. River is insignificant. The raiser bets, this guy raises, someone else calls, and the raiser calls. The raiser has a 7 for trips, the other guy has nothing and this guy has 92o. I ask him "what'd you raise for?" and he says "I thought I could bluff them out."

So after a couple of more hands:

Me: You ever seen Rounders?
Him: Oh yeah, just saw it for the first time yesterday.
Me: Oh yeah?
Him: Yeah, I just KNEW I had to come here and try this as soon as I saw it.

[River2Pair]

[ QUOTE ]
foxwoods 1/2NL table full a fish. This guy, biggest fish, is telling everyone how he is a pro poker player. He is trying to use big poker words like 'pot odds' and 'outs'. I can't help but laugh everytime he completly miss uses them. Whenever someone raised preflop and another person called this guy would call the raise and say 'I've got pot odds to call with any two cards'. At first I thought he was [censored] around, but he did it every time and some of the times he would show down 58o... pair of 5's. Remember, hes a poker pro.

[/ QUOTE ]


reminds me of my home game. sometimes everyone limps to the small blind, and then the guy in SB will say, "It looks like I have a value bet," and complete.

and then I'll have KQ and flop KKQ with two diamonds, smooth-call the flop and raise on the turn when the diamond comes. Somebody will show down their flush, and I turn over my cards normally and they say, "damn Tom, I hate when you slow-roll me like that."

[PE101]

My favorite is when the dealer says (as he's pushing me the chips) "nice hand sir".

[River2Pair]

[ QUOTE ]
Board is K92A5 rainbow



[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry if someone already pointed this out, as I haven't gotten to the bottom of the thread yet, but check the deck.

[TurtlePowers]

Didn't read all of the posts, but this one's a classic that we have all used. "This is a dumb call"(But call anyway).