What are your favorite lines spoken at the table?

[KungFuSandwich]

I was playing some online poker the other day and someguy got drawn out on and decided to be the table coach. He berated the guy for a while and finally I said "Chill out, you should be happy he was playing you from behind"

He said "I dont like other guys playing with me from behind"

I responded with "Huh, apperantly you dont take after your mom"
He then threatened to report me to the online pker authorities

Maybe I was out of line, but he started it, not me. [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]

[CAB]

Playin in Home NL Tourny $20 buy in

Down to 3 players

Me in SB with 25o (very deep in chips)
Button folds , I raise 3xBB , BB calls (not a very good player, a calling station)

Flop is a miss, Ten high

I bet Pot, He Calls,

Turn is blank

I Try one last time and Make just a little bigger bet this time.

He Calls!! (WTF am i doing in this hand anyway)

River Blank, I decide to give up as I am sure he has a least a pair an WILL NOT FOLD TO MY BET. I Check

BB, Looks at HUGE pot, looks at me and says "TAKE IT" and mucks his cards!!!!

Won't fold to a bet but folds to a Check!! PRICELESS!!

[CountDuckula]

[ QUOTE ]
BB, Looks at HUGE pot, looks at me and says "TAKE IT" and mucks his cards!!!!

Won't fold to a bet but folds to a Check!! PRICELESS!!

[/ QUOTE ]

He must've figured you were trying for a check-raise, and that convinced him you really did have a hand. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

-Mike

[ricochet420]

I love it OMG, I choked on my own spit.
[ QUOTE ]
[snip]
He said "I dont like other guys playing with me from behind"
I responded with "Huh, apperantly you dont take after your mom"[/snip]

[ILL34GL3]

bump

[Pat Southern]

A 2/4 game at the Bicycle an old lady calls on the river with JTo on a QQ99x board and says "I was open ended." As her opponent drags the pot, she asks the floorman for a deck change.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

My favorite lines are 100% dependent on the situation at the time and are complete "you had to be there" moments. For instance, my favorite recently was "I don't think I want an overcall here".

[sfer]

Walking past a table last night, a young gentleman is getting up and talking on his cell phone with a concerned, exasperated look on his face. Everyone at the table is cracking up. I hear him say, "My feelings for you are sincere..."

[Demana]

This guy is at the end of the table. He's loose and been winning a couple of pots with T3s UTG, etc. He colors up a rack and says "I have to pick up my wife from the airport."

"What time does her plane come in?" I ask.

"10:30" he says.

I look at my watch and it is 10:10. "It is only 10:10, you've got twenty minutes", I say.

"It will take me twenty minutes to get there."

"Did she check any luggage?"

"Yes she did."

"That'll take her a good twenty minutes get her luggage then."

"I think I have time for a few more hands", he says with a wink.

At 10:45 he gets a phone call.

"Yes, I'm on the freeway. OK, so I'm still at the casino. The cards have been good to me. Yes, yes, I'm leaving. I'm walking out the door now."

He then proceeds to play two more hands, losing his last couple of uncolored chips and then runs out the door [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Demana]

Live low limit ring game.

Super Fish lady is in SB (she is a dealer there and really fun).

Everyone limps to me, I raise in CO, button calls, Super Fish calls, BB folds, UTG raises, we all call, except for Super Fish who folds (for one more bet in a 16 SB pot to close the action).

Flop is 443 and she starts laughing.

After the hand, we ask her what is so funny. She says that she flopped a boat.

I point out that it was only one bet more to call preflop and she had already called my raise. The dealer starts calling her chicken and she says, "I am not a chicken, I am a turkey! Gobble gobble!"

From that point on, any time she was in a hand, I'd call out, "Look out, here comes the turkey! Gobble gobble!"