A hypothetical quarterlife crisis post... - Page 3

Shajen · #21 09-26-2005, 09:11 AM

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Why do people try to spare your feelings?

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because they are basically decent human beings who really don't want to hurt anyone. Of course, by doing this, they end up doing the very thing they were trying to prevent. People suck.

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Let's talk about a completely hypothetical scenario. Two people are good friends. They're close. They share a lot, seem to have a lot in common, talk ever day, etc.

One person may or may not have done something, said something the other didn't like. Maybe not. Maybe the other person just got bored and wants to move on to other friends. Shouldn't the person tell him/her that? Shouldn't they at least have the emotional fortitude to just tell them instead of dragging it out for weeks occasionally throwing little signals? Or worse yet sending mixed signals? Or even worse yet, just pretending to be too busy until the one person has to find out from a mutual friend what the deal is? That they've been telling other people things behind their back?

Why does a person do this anyway? Are they scared to communicate? Are they afraid of what the other person will do to hurt them? Is it to uncomfortable to just end it? OPr do they just want to have a back-up plan in case the new friends don't work out?

Do they think you really care enough that it matters in the long-term? Isn't it much better for everyone to just say something so everyone can move on?

I just don't understand people that won't communicate.

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Are you a chick? Post pics plz, k thks

[img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

jakethebake · #22 09-26-2005, 09:12 AM

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So ask your friend what's going on. This is especially important since you can't trust your source.

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Yea. I've tried that. The person has not been very communicative, which is part of the issue.

jakethebake · #23 09-26-2005, 09:13 AM

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Are you a chick? Post pics plz, k thks

[img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

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No. If I were, I would have gone about this in a far more devious manner. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

mslif · #24 09-26-2005, 09:24 AM

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And yeah, be careful of blowing these things all out of proportion, because there is a good possibility that is what's happening.

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I think that's a very good point and 9 times out of 10 that's what happens. Maybe your friend is going through some stuff that he/she does not want to talk about, maybe he/she is just busy. I think you should just relax and ask he/she what is going on.

jakethebake · #25 09-26-2005, 09:39 AM

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And yeah, be careful of blowing these things all out of proportion, because there is a good possibility that is what's happening.

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I think that's a very good point and 9 times out of 10 that's what happens. Maybe your friend is going through some stuff that he/she does not want to talk about, maybe he/she is just busy. I think you should just relax and ask he/she what is going on.

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You think this is it? It's possible nothing's changed? I thought so at first but there a lot of little clues that maybe I'm misreading? Anyway, as I said, the person is important to me and if the person is going through something, I'd like to hear about it. I'm not very good at fixing people's problems, but I try to be a good ear. It especially bothers me that they're probably talking to other people about it and not giving me any credit. This is actually very interesting because now I think about it I may have said some things one drunken night that would make the person hesitate to tell me certain things. Maybe I can change that so they'd trust me more. But I did try asking them what's going on already more than once and kinda felt snubbed.

mslif · #26 09-26-2005, 09:49 AM

I don't know if that's it, I only have one side of the story here. The only thing I know for sure is that it does not matter how close you guys are, if that person does not want to tell you what's going on then you should respect that.

pokerdirty · #27 09-26-2005, 09:55 AM

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A hypothetical quarterlife crisis post...

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How old are you jake? [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

You've had like 10 birthdays alone this year.

jakethebake · #28 09-26-2005, 10:01 AM

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I don't know if that's it, I only have one side of the story here. The only thing I know for sure is that it does not matter how close you guys are, if that person does not want to tell you what's going on then you should respect that.

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I know you're right about that. It just really bothers me that the person feels like they couldn't tell me or doesn't trust me or whatever. It's someone I think should feel like they could tell me anything if I hadn't screwed up.

Anyway I only have one side of the story too. That's the whole issue. I can't seem to get the other side. I'd ask the person again what's going on like you suggested, but I'd just feel like a glutton for punishment if I got snubbed again.

jakethebake · #29 09-26-2005, 10:02 AM

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How old are you jake? [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

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Based on this MTV Real Life teen angst post you won't believe it anyway. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Los Feliz Slim · #30 09-26-2005, 10:23 AM

Jake? Jakethebake? Is that you?

If you did/said something wrong and apologized and the other person is being a douche, F him or her. Life is too short. I'm now thinking that your ubiquitous cynicism is a shield against the world and all the disappointing people in it. Most people suck. If they didn't, the incredibly small number of people who will be your "friends" (help-you-hide-the-body friends) wouldn't be so special.

If this is torturing you because you think this is your fault, do what you can to correct it and move on.