Opinions needed....

[nickey009]

This is essentially my point...

I'm guessing Alobar here is a single/non-married guy. Or if he's married he's recently married. The married guy "checks" first. I've even had one married guy say he would just say "no" to the friend at the airport because even if he asks he's screwed. It puts his wife in a bad position (no pun intended) where she has to say yes. To avoid the headache with the wife he would just tell the friend "No, he can't".

[RunDownHouse]

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It puts his wife in a bad position (no pun intended) where she has to say yes. To avoid the headache with the wife he would just tell the friend "No, he can't".

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This is the crux of the situation. Why is she in a bad position? Why is it a headache for her?

People don't become unreasonable, insecure, and controlling when they get married. They're like that single, too, and if you choose to marry such a person then you choose to deal with it.

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]
This is essentially my point...

I'm guessing Alobar here is a single/non-married guy. Or if he's married he's recently married. The married guy "checks" first. I've even had one married guy say he would just say "no" to the friend at the airport because even if he asks he's screwed. It puts his wife in a bad position (no pun intended) where she has to say yes. To avoid the headache with the wife he would just tell the friend "No, he can't".

[/ QUOTE ]

It wouldnt matter if I was married or not, my mentality would still be the same. I made a concious decision a long time ago that I didnt want to be one of those guys who asks their wife permission to do everything. (ever notice how those are the guys who always are the ones begging for sex too?). I get the whole give and take thing, and I completely understand it and accept it. However something as lame as not picking up a friend from the airport cuz your ball and chain of a wife will pitch a fit, is so effing retarded it isnt even funny. I know guys who have to ask their wife to do [censored] like go on a mountain bike ride.....in the middle of the week.....while the wife is at work. I'm sorry, that just isnt going to be me.

And yes, I've broken up with girls before because they couldnt handle the fact that I have female friends, or that I will keep a sense of idependance. But you know what, ive also dated a ton of girls who were totally ok with that, and guess which relationships I was much happier in?

I'm just not the codependant type, and I dont look for that quality in others either.

[mackthefork]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This is essentially my point...

I'm guessing Alobar here is a single/non-married guy. Or if he's married he's recently married. The married guy "checks" first. I've even had one married guy say he would just say "no" to the friend at the airport because even if he asks he's screwed. It puts his wife in a bad position (no pun intended) where she has to say yes. To avoid the headache with the wife he would just tell the friend "No, he can't".

[/ QUOTE ]

It wouldnt matter if I was married or not, my mentality would still be the same. I made a concious decision a long time ago that I didnt want to be one of those guys who asks their wife permission to do everything. (ever notice how those are the guys who always are the ones begging for sex too?). I get the whole give and take thing, and I completely understand it and accept it. However something as lame as not picking up a friend from the airport cuz your ball and chain of a wife will pitch a fit, is so effing retarded it isnt even funny. I know guys who have to ask their wife to do [censored] like go on a mountain bike ride.....in the middle of the week.....while the wife is at work. I'm sorry, that just isnt going to be me.

And yes, I've broken up with girls before because they couldnt handle the fact that I have female friends, or that I will keep a sense of idependance. But you know what, ive also dated a ton of girls who were totally ok with that, and guess which relationships I was much happier in?

I'm just not the codependant type, and I dont look for that quality in others either.

[/ QUOTE ]

I 100% agree with you, perfectly reasonable but by no means the norm these days.

Mack

[touchfaith]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This is essentially my point...

I'm guessing Alobar here is a single/non-married guy. Or if he's married he's recently married. The married guy "checks" first. I've even had one married guy say he would just say "no" to the friend at the airport because even if he asks he's screwed. It puts his wife in a bad position (no pun intended) where she has to say yes. To avoid the headache with the wife he would just tell the friend "No, he can't".

[/ QUOTE ]

It wouldnt matter if I was married or not, my mentality would still be the same. I made a concious decision a long time ago that I didnt want to be one of those guys who asks their wife permission to do everything. (ever notice how those are the guys who always are the ones begging for sex too?). I get the whole give and take thing, and I completely understand it and accept it. However something as lame as not picking up a friend from the airport cuz your ball and chain of a wife will pitch a fit, is so effing retarded it isnt even funny. I know guys who have to ask their wife to do [censored] like go on a mountain bike ride.....in the middle of the week.....while the wife is at work. I'm sorry, that just isnt going to be me.

And yes, I've broken up with girls before because they couldnt handle the fact that I have female friends, or that I will keep a sense of idependance. But you know what, ive also dated a ton of girls who were totally ok with that, and guess which relationships I was much happier in?

I'm just not the codependant type, and I dont look for that quality in others either.

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL, you will be single for a lonnnnng time. You still think this is about permission???

I'll give you a clue...It's about mutual respect.

[Phill S]

I see two major things here

The girl has problems of insecurity.

Some of your friends are wipped severly. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Phill

[InchoateHand]

I "ask" my fiancee because I just like to be upfront, and for whatever reason the vast majority of my close friends are girls. My fiancee didn't know most of them (I've moved a lot) before we were together, so she used to be a bit jealous. She got over it, and actually befriended some of them. I'll always pick someone up from the airport, and she'll always be fine with it.

[touchfaith]

[ QUOTE ]
I "ask" my fiancee because I just like to be upfront, and for whatever reason the vast majority of my close friends are girls. My fiancee didn't know most of them (I've moved a lot) before we were together, so she used to be a bit jealous. She got over it, and actually befriended some of them. I'll always pick someone up from the airport, and she'll always be fine with it.

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golf-clap!! Someone gets it [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Alobar]

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[ QUOTE ]
This is essentially my point...

I'm guessing Alobar here is a single/non-married guy. Or if he's married he's recently married. The married guy "checks" first. I've even had one married guy say he would just say "no" to the friend at the airport because even if he asks he's screwed. It puts his wife in a bad position (no pun intended) where she has to say yes. To avoid the headache with the wife he would just tell the friend "No, he can't".

[/ QUOTE ]

It wouldnt matter if I was married or not, my mentality would still be the same. I made a concious decision a long time ago that I didnt want to be one of those guys who asks their wife permission to do everything. (ever notice how those are the guys who always are the ones begging for sex too?). I get the whole give and take thing, and I completely understand it and accept it. However something as lame as not picking up a friend from the airport cuz your ball and chain of a wife will pitch a fit, is so effing retarded it isnt even funny. I know guys who have to ask their wife to do [censored] like go on a mountain bike ride.....in the middle of the week.....while the wife is at work. I'm sorry, that just isnt going to be me.

And yes, I've broken up with girls before because they couldnt handle the fact that I have female friends, or that I will keep a sense of idependance. But you know what, ive also dated a ton of girls who were totally ok with that, and guess which relationships I was much happier in?

I'm just not the codependant type, and I dont look for that quality in others either.

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL, you will be single for a lonnnnng time. You still think this is about permission???

I'll give you a clue...It's about mutual respect.

[/ QUOTE ]

dont kid yourself, its about permission.

If it was about mutual respect, you wouldnt be asking to do things that anyone who wasnt insecure and needy would realize was a no brainer.

And if I'm single for a looong time because I'm a slefish Ahole who would help any friend in need, and I cant find a women who isnt codependant and clingy, then thats fine with me. Marriage isnt a necessity, im happy with who I am, and I enjoy the life I have. If I meet someone who can enrich my life, and I enrich theirs, then great, if not I'll continue to be single, and prolly a ton happier than the guy "trapped" in his marriage.

[cardcounter0]

Did anyone consider you go back to bed and tell the girlfriend to go pick someone up at the airport at 5, because you are going to be busy with your afternoon nap?

[img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]