Open letter to myself: admitting my shame

[BK_]

jay i love you good luck

[HoldEmKillah]

Fantastic thread. Good luck.

[RollaJ]

Tilt is something that is rather hard to help people avoid, the other 2 I may be able to help with........

Dont Play While Drinking (notice I didnt say while drunk). As soon as you have your first drink you dont play as well as before that first drink, If you want to drink and F around do it, but play low limits.... believe me its still fun, and a lot more fun than signing on the next morning and seeing you GAVE away $1000.

the drinking thing is also related to you lack of appreciation of money, If the money doesnt mean anything to you, why would losing it bother you???
You said you gave money to charity to give you a better understanding of the value of the money. IMO if you gave it via check or credit card it wont help youo at all. If you want to see the real value of money, take $1,000 (or 500 pounds) and take a walk outside in the city one day/night go up to the first 10 homeless people or families and give them each $100(50BP), I think you will then realize what that money means, you will most likely feel very good about yourself too

[1800GAMBLER]

The PT screenshot are today's figures and while that sample size is just a run of (crazy) variance i'm ready to conclude that i have awful attention. Most of my mistakes in NL come because of me refusing to fold and instead of having a clear thought pattern, my logic is always weighted towards calling, i've never done this before and it's also been a while since i have 4 tabled, so i think i'm more willing to call due to boredom of folding and waiting. I also really can't focus enough to watch hands while not involved, i just distract myself with anything. Again, which is not good for NL.

When i played 15/30 table i 10 tabled it and everything seemed to fix nicely, i made more notes on players than ever, i was more focused, clear and complete in my thought process. While poker is always easy when running well - and when it's your opponents who are drunk rather than you - my 10 tabling limit game is much better than my 4 tabling nl game.

So i think it's time to move back to megatabling limit again untill i can improve my attention.

Another lessson learnt.

[AZK]

why not 8 table 1k nl?

[1800GAMBLER]

[ QUOTE ]
why not 8 table 1k nl?

[/ QUOTE ]

I will def. do that option soon too. I'll 10 table 15/30 for the next few weeks for confidence reasons then move to 8 tabling $1k 6 max, if that goes well i'll try heavily multitabling the $2k.

[wheelz]

I recommend not 10 tabling 15/30. Please.

[AZK]

You are more experienced than me in almost every aspect of poker but I feel like I can relate to the things you are going through/suffer from. You play poorly if you don't have enough going on and if you have too much going on your play also suffers. I would play better when I would play 1 or 2 tables, but get bored quickly, I tried playing 5 buttoo much was going on. 3 - 4 is ok but gets boring. It didn't really work out for me, but you are a better play so why don't you try playing higher stakes. More money always made me focus better and pay better attention. Why don't you try playing a little 25/50 and see if that can get you out of your 'funk'.

[1800GAMBLER]

Even my A game isn't good enough for 25/50 nl right now, eventually i'll do some 25/50 nl again though. I will do some party 100/200 and 50/100 though. I'm just extremely hyped about getting some solid winning hours in at 15/30 30/60 limit atm.

[Marnixvdb]

Didnt read the whole thread so I may be wrong, but that last downswing, combined with you saying that you skewed your logic into making big calls when you shouldnt, sure makes the impression you went on wintilt after the upswing that preceded it.

Maybe after losing a few buyins to this wintilt, you lose-tilted another few.

When i win a lot in a short period of time, I usually start playing too loose and tilt slightly. NL players, even the bad ones, tend to pick up on this quickly. It must save lots of money when you have this under control, because this phenonomen can really soften your upswings (just as lose-tilt deepens your downswings)

Marnix