OOT come up with the worst opening sentence of a novel that you can.

[YourFoxyGrandma]

He stepped through the doorway into the warmth of the fading dusklight, his loins burning with a fire the likes of which he had not experienced in many moons.

[gumpzilla]

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This had some potential. It would have been better had you modeled it after

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Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.

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I've tried starting that book three times, and can never get more than 40 pages in. It's strange, because I like his short stories.

[Klepton]

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Call me Ishael. I play 80k hands of 2/4 a month with a xbox gamepad that i modded to the back of ym computer and i never want to move up in limits. ever.

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this book would suck.

[Sooga]

As the five nubile young men sat intimiately in the hot tub, the talk turned to the mysteriously enchanting pokerjo. "I'D LIKE TO STICK IT IN HER POOPER!" one of the men yelled, clearly inebriated by one of the many coconut-cupped tropical drinks he had had that night. An awkward silence followed, finally broken by a simple suggestion: "You should seriously consider killing yourself."

[jason_t]

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Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.

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But this is actually a great beginning to a great novel.

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Point.

Your head.

[gorie]

the end.

[kerssens]

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the end.

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scotty's angry!! [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] I was about to post this but decided to refresh first.

[private joker]

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This one killed me:

Captain Burton stood at the bow of his massive sailing ship, his weathered face resembling improperly cured leather that wouldn't even be used to make a coat or something.
Bryan Semrow
Oshkosh, WI

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That's my favorite too. I also liked:

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A warning to the reader: Tom dies in the end of the story so don't get too attached to him.
Sam Gerring
Lexington, KY


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[CORed]

I still like "It was a dark and stormy night.".

I believe that there really is a bad 19th century British novel that starts with this sentence, but I can't remember the title or author and I haven't read it.

[manpower]

"The beauty of poker is that on the surface it is a game of utter simplicity, yet beneath the surface it is profound, rich and full of subtlety."

Sorry, had to be done.