Dealing with being a loser

[Softrock]

At the risk of sounding like a psychologist - Hey. wait a minute - I am a psychologist. The title of your post may be revealing. You refer to yourself as a loser rather than being on a losing streak or something similar. As others have domewhat discussed, mindset is crucial - both yours and that of your opponent. I think the fact that you could post this is a positive and honestly looking at your own behavior and state of mind is crucial. For some reason there are times when I'm getting beat where I do indeed feel like a "loser". I know from experience (bad experience) that when I'm in that state of mind I do not play well. I usually have the discipline to quit and come back in a different frame of mind. For reason's I can't define, there are other times when I'm getting beat where I feel confident that I can beat this game and just know that with time I'll make a comeback - often (not always) I do. I've thought about this and I truly can't figure out what makes the difference. Rather than continue to obsess about it I've just learned to deal with it.

For me anyway solid confidence is crucial to my playing winning poker (by solid conficence I mean that which is realistic as opposed to unwarranted cockiness). If for whatever reason I can't bring up that confident feeling I just don't fare as well (I happen to believe that others can sense your belief in yourself to some degree and thus it's often a combination of what I do plus how others react to my "vibes").

If you are indeed feeling like a loser then it's time to do something radically different. Do some studying, drop down to lower limits, play ridiculously tight so that you almost can't sustain a big loss - but some sort of major change is necessary.

OK, and here's the big psychology one - if you truly are feeling like a loser then maybe you need to do some soul searching way beyond poker.

[John Ho]

One problem is likely that you tilt. Either 1) develop better emotional control or 2) bring less money to the casino and leave the ATM/credit or any other card at home. Who cares if you lose one session? The card room is always open.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the possibility that maybe you are just in over your head and need to improve your game. I would recommend stepping down in limits for you.

[Flopped]

DJ,

First, you seem to think that you are supposed to win. You're not. That's BS. Winning is reserved for excellence and the right set of qualities. You don't have those.

Quit poker.

Most of the posters here would do well to quit too.

Move on.

[Swiss Cheese]

D.J.

I and everyone here knows what your going through. If you are having a problem playing to your last chip is gone... play time. Set a limit of the amount of time you are going to play in a certain session. Even if it is a losing sesssion make sure you stick to your limit. This will be benificial for 2 reasons:

1. If it is a losing session most likely you will not have gone through your whole roll for the session. So make sure the time limit you set is reasonable.

2. If it is a winning session at the time limit you set, I feel this will help your confidence.

I feel that confidence is a major contributor to losing streaks. If you can help your confidence out in any way it most definately will help your game. I hope this helps in some way.

Swiss Cheese

[MichaelD]

Soh,

Forgive me for not clarifying my post. I was responding to DJ's specific question which I took as meaning multiple consecutive losing sessions rather than a single losing session. Short term luck definitely plays a part in everyone's game and no matter how well one plays, they can never overcome this factor completely in regards to winning every session. But, regardless of results, one can still strive to play their best every session.

What I was specifically referring to was when I had 3 or more consecutive losing sessions or a high percentage of losing sessions over my last 10 or so, I have found that it is usually, at least in part, because of the way I have been playing. I have found I very rarely lose 4 or 5 consecutive sessions if I am playing my A game or that I lose 4 out of 5 if I am playing my A game. I do not pretend to be a math wizzard or have percentages to back these figures up, but I am basing it purely on my own results and observations of those specific periods of play.

I do believe one can still play their A game and have an extended losing streak, although I am more inclined to look for and believe there are leaks in my game before I consider the possibility I am getting unlucky. While I may very well be getting unlucky, I am more inclined to look in the mirror and point the finger at my own play rather than at bad luck. I consider this taking responsibility for my own luck and my own results.

In regards to your observation about my statement...

* "If I find myself tired, on tilt, inattentive, hungry, pissed off, etc., then I get up and leave immediately. If I am feel I am still capable of playing my A game, then I stay. As long as I am playing my A game, my next hour of poker is my next hour, whether it happens now or a month from now." "I look at the game as one big session."

You then said...

"This is a great attitude (if you have it.)"



* Thank You - I also believe this is a great attitude.

* I also believe that I do in fact have it a majority of the time I play.

* Unfortunately, I must be the first to admit that I do break my own rules and I do not always follow my own advice.

* However, for the most part, I do make every effort to follow my own advice and when I do not, I make a note of it and attempt to not make the same mistakes again.

Ok Soh - hope this helps clear up any confusion.

Just some thoughts...

Michael D.

[Josh W]

DJ -

As many here know, and others would be happy to point out, I went through a spell from Oct. 2001 to March 2002 that plain sucked. It seems like I didn't book a win in that session.

And I broke all the rules....I played way too long, too high, too tired, in too tough of games for too much money.

I think I mentioned this to you once, but now I never bring that much money to play....if I'm going to play 15 or 20, I only bring like 1500. That may be a little shallow, but I have a lot less regret the next morning. And I also make it social. I mean, damn, you've seen me playing cards in LA...I know 10,000 people in every casino. And when I feel a tiny twinge of tilt, I walk and talk to somebody....usually a buddy playing at another table, sometimes a pregnant cashier [img]/forums/images/icons/smile.gif[/img].

And I don't need to tell you that 10 losses in a row sucks, you know that already. So book a win. Any win. Up 100, and they are asking for collection, take a hike.

I know your game selection is fine (tough for it not to be, given where/when you are playing), so my first recommendation is to take less money. That doesn't guarantee a "W" at all, but it makes an "L" a little less painful.

Good luck, man.

J