Best way to shut down the table coach without tapping the glass?

[klagett]

"Hey man we are just here for the fun of it. But will make sure I play better against you."

[Smasharoo]

I find just saying random pointless things works pretty well.

"You called all those raises with 93 offsuit? You're a moron!!"

Me: "I like cheese."

"I won, didn't I?"
"Not for long if you keep playing like that!"

Me: "Once, I saw a wheel of cheese so big that it had it's own gravity. Like a black hole. No curds or whey could escape it!"

"Smash, wtf are you talking about?"

Me: "Chees, I thoguht it was pretty clear. One time, I was making pizza and the Mozzerella started talking to me."

"You're nuts"

Me: "I didn't speak Italian though, so I couldn't understand it"

[Yobz]

thats funny as hell

[spamuell]

I generally say to the coach, "Hey (coach's name), didn't I see you on WPT?"

Often they just don't reply say anything else because it's pretty clear that when they say no I'm about to tell them to stfu then but the best part about it is that the player being ridiculed often laughs at the coach, which is good because I don't want them to feel bad.

[Freakin]

Coach to fish: "What the hell are you doing playing trash like K2 offsuit?"

Me to coach: "Gus Hansen would have played it"

Coach to me: "Gus Hansen isn't known for playing trash like K2 offsuit"

Me to coach: "You're not known for understanding sarcasm"

Fish laughs, and berates Coach's poor understanding of sarcasm. Others follow in suit. Coach shuts up. Coach (who was a decent player) wins another pot and leaves. Seat is filled by darling fishy. Everybody loves Freakin (especially Freakin's Neteller account).

Freakin

[pfkaok]

[ QUOTE ]
You know, I was running Playerview today, and watching this table coach, calling other players (including me) complete fish. I was apparently raising with nothing, or some such. Anyway, it's awesome to basically see these guys naked. Tables coache's vp was 50, and had no preflop raise or agression numbers. Kind of the tuna calling the trout fishy.

[/ QUOTE ]

I find this to almost always be true, at least with the aggr factor. The coaches are always playing "solid poker" which includes betting and raising if and only if you have top pair or better, otherwise fold... of course if you bet or raise otherwise you're a fish.

I personally love when people tell me I'm the worst player they've ever seen... or "keep playing that way, I want all your money". these coaches are funny, playing scared way above their BR's, then when they go bust they blame the site for being rigged.

[BigBaitsim (milo)]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You know, I was running Playerview today, and watching this table coach, calling other players (including me) complete fish. I was apparently raising with nothing, or some such. Anyway, it's awesome to basically see these guys naked. Tables coache's vp was 50, and had no preflop raise or agression numbers. Kind of the tuna calling the trout fishy.

[/ QUOTE ]

I find this to almost always be true, at least with the aggr factor. The coaches are always playing "solid poker" which includes betting and raising if and only if you have top pair or better, otherwise fold... of course if you bet or raise otherwise you're a fish.

I personally love when people tell me I'm the worst player they've ever seen... or "keep playing that way, I want all your money". these coaches are funny, playing scared way above their BR's, then when they go bust they blame the site for being rigged.

[/ QUOTE ]

You mean the sites aren't rigged?

[James282]

You can make fun of them for getting owned by the fish. Make fun of them for not knowing they were beat. Or you can just say, "unless you're staking him, you can't tell him how to play."
-James

[vicpanic]

mute.

[Hallett]

[ QUOTE ]
I find just saying random pointless things works pretty well.

"You called all those raises with 93 offsuit? You're a moron!!"

Me: "I like cheese."

"I won, didn't I?"
"Not for long if you keep playing like that!"

Me: "Once, I saw a wheel of cheese so big that it had it's own gravity. Like a black hole. No curds or whey could escape it!"

"Smash, wtf are you talking about?"

Me: "Chees, I thoguht it was pretty clear. One time, I was making pizza and the Mozzerella started talking to me."

"You're nuts"

Me: "I didn't speak Italian though, so I couldn't understand it"

[/ QUOTE ]

This is what I do. I have PM'd people via the invite, but that doesn't work. I often resort to mindless blather that has nothing to do with the game:


I love asparagus... I REALLY do
My doggie is black and white
You know, I really like vanilla
It is my utmost concern that artichokes get the respect and admiration they deserve. The only vegetable with a heart!
<Ralph Wiggum voice>: I made a snowman today! Its name is Drippy!

and so on.

Usually I get the table coach to think I am nuts, and he changes his focus to me.