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#21
09-03-2005, 03:20 AM
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Re: i wish i were a better person
learn to masturbate better...it's a goal
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#22
09-03-2005, 03:21 AM
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Re: i wish i were a better person
[ QUOTE ]
i spend so much SO GOD DAMN MUCH of my time and mental effort on that stupid girl. so much frustration and so much wasted time and so much so so much destruction and waste. sometimes i think i should castrate myself. my life would be easier. i could spend my time on things that matter. who needs sex for love? no more sex for me. [/ QUOTE ] throughout this post you mention "her" a lot, i don't know you but when i read that it automatically makes me think that she could be at least some of the problem. personally if its work with a girl then its not for me and this is what you make it sound like.
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#23
09-03-2005, 03:23 AM
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Re: i wish i were a better person
I wasn't referring to you as a racist. I think that you can't get away from some unfortunate stats based on history and current poverty.
I was responding to your almost certain hyper-emotional state of mind exacerbated by some form of drug. And I simply wonder, is this where you really want to bare your soul? If my hypothesis is correct, you are in no state of mind to answer.
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#25
09-03-2005, 03:30 AM
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Re: i wish i were a better person
[ QUOTE ]
I wasn't referring to you as a racist. I think that you can't get away from some unfortunate stats based on history and current poverty. I was responding to your almost certain hyper-emotional state of mind exacerbated by some form of drug. And I simply wonder, is this where you really want to bare your soul? If my hypothesis is correct, you are in no state of mind to answer. [/ QUOTE ]did you actually drink or was that just for me? i'm not really baring my soul. just talking about what i want to do. i am much more complex.
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#27
09-03-2005, 03:37 AM
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Re: i wish i were a better person
Of course I drank. I never lie. But something's going on. Why are you feeling the need to express the dichotomy of emptiness and arrogance? And why on oot? It's certainly OK. Perhaps I've got a bit of mother hen syndrome.
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#29
09-03-2005, 03:41 AM
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Re: i wish i were a better person
[ QUOTE ]
i mean... i'm an ok person. i'm smart and that's more than most people can say. i'm too cold sometimes. i'm arrogant sometimes too. why is that a bad thing? people don't like it so that makes it bad? i lack motivation.. or care? i don't care enough - about anything. they always say to me, they ALWAYS say to me, "kurosh, you have this gift, you have to use it. it's not fair to the rest of society." i always used to say [censored]'em. i don't owe [censored] to society. society is [censored]. if i want to sit in my room and leech off the dredges of society to make money, i will. it's an easy way of making money. the opportunity is there. i can't pass it up. i'm very smart. i know that. what does smart get you? i don't use it. it is slowly turning to mush. i can feel it. i could probably whip it back into shape but it's mush for now and the pot doesn't help. i can feel that [censored] in my brain making me dumber for a day. for a week i'm slightly dumber, but functional. i need to stop but that brings me to my second point. i'm crazy. i'm absolutely insane. i lack discipline. my emotions are wild and out of control. ask that crazy jeni, who i know will be reading this because she reads all of my posts. go ahead, post here, tell them. all the posts about groundhog day made me watch the movie and it inspired me. you know what i do if i were him? i would sit on my ass. i wouldn't get out of bed. i would waste away and be depressed. how can i do that? not anymore. i need to be better. i need discipline. i need to [censored] use this crazy machine on my head. starting tomorrow, no more drugs, no more girls, no more touching myself, no more tilt, no more wasting time, i am a machine. i have a pile of books in my room i need to read. i will read them and i will learn. i spend so much SO GOD DAMN MUCH of my time and mental effort on that stupid girl. so much frustration and so much wasted time and so much so so much destruction and waste. sometimes i think i should castrate myself. my life would be easier. i could spend my time on things that matter. who needs sex for love? no more sex for me. but for tonight? i drink izze and listen to nickel creek. [/ QUOTE ] This ain't bad. I could fix this. If asked.
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#30
09-03-2005, 03:45 AM
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Re: i wish i were a better person
Oh boy. ThinMan and kurosh,,, This should be good.
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