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#21
08-22-2005, 12:33 PM
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Re: Family members who steal
[ QUOTE ]
It's her mom. Just have your wife tell her to feel free to take anything she needs, just please log it so you can track your inventory. Knowing women, I wouldn't doubt it if she already told her mom that but finds it easier to just tell you her mom steals. [/ QUOTE ] I agree with the first part, but not the second. You're not going to be able to change the behavior, and if her mom did this, it's likely that she doesn't think she's done anything wrong. If you try to confront her about it or curb the behavior, (1) you won't achieve your desired ends, and (2) you'll be opening a can of worms that will contaminate other aspects of your relationships. You are in a lose-lose situation, unless you can find a way to let her take the merchandise that you can live with. 
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#22
08-22-2005, 12:39 PM
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Re: Family members who steal
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] Beyond the obvious answers (not having her work in the salon, cutting ties with her mother)- realistically this will not happen. Thoughts? [/ QUOTE ] Why is it obvious that you should break ties with her over $70 worth of salon products? You speak as though you've never done anything worse than this before. [/ QUOTE ] Sorry, I was unclear- I'm saying cutting ties is NOT an option. And the worst I stole was $6 worth of baseball cards from Venture when I was 12, and I was caught. Other than that, I'm a saint... [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]
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#23
08-22-2005, 12:40 PM
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Re: Family members who steal
Why are you and your wife so angry about this? I don't get it.
Anyone in my family could steal every dollar I have in my bank account and I would still hold them close to my heart. Sometimes people do things for reasons they don't understand. It doesn't make them bad people. Family isn't just more important than money. Its like apples and oranges. Life is meaningless when you don't have friends or family.
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#24
08-22-2005, 12:49 PM
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Re: Family members who steal
[ QUOTE ]
install a hidden camera in the salon, bunch up the products in one section of the store before it opens, video tape the section while leaving her inside alone, make sure most of the valuable stuff is in the one section and not scattered. If you do catch her stealing on tape don't say anything to her, but instead mail the tape via snail mail addressed to her. Then don't say anything.... If you leave the tape in the mailbox and it magically disappears without her ever saying a word, then you know damn well she's aware and she's capable of stealing. She'll know you know that she stole without you ever confronting her, she'll be nervous. its, easy, cheap, and efficient and you may even get her to apologize to you. Make sure when you send her the tape that it is editted and contains her stealing, a tape of only 4 mins max. If all of these events do occur then maybe she'll come to you. [/ QUOTE ] I like it- it's passive/aggressive, just like me... [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
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#25
08-22-2005, 12:59 PM
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Re: Family members who steal
[ QUOTE ]
Why are you and your wife so angry about this? I don't get it. Anyone in my family could steal every dollar I have in my bank account and I would still hold them close to my heart. Sometimes people do things for reasons they don't understand. It doesn't make them bad people. Family isn't just more important than money. Its like apples and oranges. Life is meaningless when you don't have friends or family. [/ QUOTE ] This has nothing to do with $70 of product and everything to do with what is she thinking? If she came to us and ASKED, it would be completely different. Stealing from a family member just seems below pathetic to me. Ok, so she's not a bad person- how do we get her to fess up to tell us what's going on in her head that makes her think this is okay?
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#26
08-22-2005, 01:05 PM
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Re: Family members who steal
[ QUOTE ]
Why are you and your wife so angry about this? I don't get it. Anyone in my family could steal every dollar I have in my bank account and I would still hold them close to my heart. Sometimes people do things for reasons they don't understand. It doesn't make them bad people. Family isn't just more important than money. Its like apples and oranges. Life is meaningless when you don't have friends or family. [/ QUOTE ] Dude, the OP doesn't care about the $70 he lost. It's the fact that mother-in-law is stealing, and not only that, but FROM FAMILY. And then she lied about it. It's clear from your post you value family greatly. But what family values is OP's mother-in-law displaying if she steals from OP & wife and lies about it? Quite obviously this stealing is a problem that needs to be stopped; don't shove it under the rug because you place the idea of good relations above all else. Nobody should have to put up with this. Otherwise they'll just get trampled by family members.
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#28
08-22-2005, 04:22 PM
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Re: Family members who steal
Jeff, you don't know [censored].
I've met great people who stole from their family at certain age but learned better later on. About the problem: stop THINKING what she's goign to do if you tell her. Just confront her and see what happens. Tell her what's on your mind. Tell her you're worried she'll end up stealing [censored]. All there is to it.
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#29
08-22-2005, 05:16 PM
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Re: Family members who steal
Ok, I was having a bit of a bad day. But I just get sick and tired of this excuse culture we live in where people can do bad things and they are still "good people." What you say is true for someone who changes their ways, but when someone who is old is doing this, that's just the way they are. I would say it's strong evidence that this is a person that knows right from wrong and doesn't care.
Jeff
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