Post your best hammered casino poker story here

[zuluking]

[ QUOTE ]
This doesn't beat others for coolness

[/ QUOTE ]

Almost every drunken gambling story is cool.

[henrikrh]

Ahh vegas, when I reach that tender age I shall come for you, and there waill be drink and joy and poker.

[Wolf101]

Some years back I found myself in Florida with friends. We got completely hammered and ended up taking the flight to Freeport to gamble. The deal was, you have to keep $15 bucks airport tax or whatever to get back out of the country.

So it was like a twenty minute flight, but in that time, I realize my ex-wife is one of the flight attendents. She starts harrassing me about her new boyfriend, who was actually the freakin pilot. So now I'm hammered and pissed off and humiliated when I get to the casino.

I blow my roll in less than thirty minutes playing craps. Now everyone knows how it sucks to be in a casino with no money while all your friends are having fun, so I say screw it, I'll bet my last $15, it's not like my friends are going to leave me behind.

I started playing blackjack and I couldn't lose. I was so hammered I wasn't even playing basic strategy...just doing whatever...all kinds of goofey hits. Next thing I know, I'm up a couple of thousand bucks! All my friends are hovering around the table hooting and hollering. I was demanding shots of tequila and getting them.

While this whole scene is going on, I manage to get some chick to sit on my lap "for luck" and I'm giving her some chips to play with and she starts hammering shots as well.

We had to be back at the plane at 3:00AM, having arrived around 6:00PM and it turns out the drunk chick is on the plane as well. The plane is basically empty and completely dark and I start groping her and before I know what's going on my ex-wife realizes I'm getting head under a blanket right there for her to see. It was priceless.

I ended up winning about two grand, had a little action and when I finally got home and went to bed I heard my roomate screaming. I ran in there to find that the cat had taken a huge dump on his pillow while we were gone. For some reason, that remains the best memory of the night for me.

What a great night. It's been -EV ever since.

Hahaha! That was one of the most entertaining 4/8 games I've ever witnessed.

[flapjack]

VORP
Could you tell me which was the case:

1. People laughing with me.

2. People laughing at me.

I remember case 1 but I admint my memory is not so clear.

Were you playing or dealing?

Any funny lines you remember would be appreciated. Thanks.

[TheJunkyardGod]

I remember one night at the Tropicana in AC I played a 2-4 game with this middle aged polish guy who insisted that every time either of us won a pot, he would buy a shot.

He ended up being a really good poker player, or at least was as lucky as I was that night because we got trashed. I had never had so much fun playing cards than I did that night.

Then I remember dodging hookers and drug dealers when I got the bright idea to walk down Atlantic Ave at 3am to my friends hotel room at the Sands.

God I can't wait to go back down.

[ QUOTE ]
VORP
Could you tell me which was the case:

1. People laughing with me.

2. People laughing at me.

I remember case 1 but I admint my memory is not so clear.

Were you playing or dealing?

Any funny lines you remember would be appreciated. Thanks.

[/ QUOTE ]

I pretty much just saw #1. Of course, there were the occasional looks of stunned disbelief when you dragged pot after pot with 74o. I was dealing when you had the spelling contest with the Canadian couple. A few hours later I saw the Canadian women again and she told me all about that massive hand. She had the 99 and was really good natured about it.

I dealt a somewhat similar 4/8 table the other day where a drunk guy was raising/re-raising blind and going on a huge rush. At one point he raises blind and this very sober player stops before acting and asks me if the raiser looked at his cards. I tell him I don’t know. So he asks the guy. The drunk raiser finds this really funny and just starts laughing. Sober guy turns back to me and demands, “I need to know if he looked at his cards.” Funny stuff.

[barrett]

I was in Vegas with some buddies last year. We played an uneventful tournament one evening at the Orleans. The next day we walked into the Mirage around noon and got placed at a 6/12 table with an unruly drunk SOB. Turns out this was one of dealers from the night before at the Orleans.

We learned from the floor that this guy's routine was to get off work at the Orleans and go straight to the Mirage where he would play and drink until he passed out the next day.

Before he got kicked out of the room for stinking and splashing the pots, he entertained the table by eating a cocktail napkin and ogling the women next to him.

[Riverman]

"Before he got kicked out of the room for stinking and splashing the pots, he entertained the table by eating a cocktail napkin and ogling the women next to him."

Wow.

[whiskeytown]

ah man....

how about the drunk guy that sits down at the MGM - limps with AQ and leaves me AT in the big blind unopposed.

Flop comes KQJ, and we both get our money in post flop and I drag the pot at which time he tells someone I'm an awful player.

I ragged on him a bit - told him to rebuy - but he left.

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Laughlin - late one night I'm there and there's a real drunk guy who was engaged in a pathetic attempt at hitting on a dealer or a dealer's gf - one of the two.

He asked her name right before action, and rather then answer him she went "raise" and he goes "raise - that's an odd name." -

Eventually the floor said he was cutoff, and he took his chips and left - no doubt not to bed but to find another place he could be served. Saw a cop car outside the place a bit later - I think he got busted or passed out somewhere in the casino.

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Had a loose drunk at Canterbury one time - real donator but the dealers had to keep telling him to watch his language - he finally got pissed and left and on one hand, the game was so damned slow we're glad it sped up - on the other hand, by ragging him about swearing that drove him from the table.

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For my money my fav. was the waitress at the MGM who brought me whiskey the first night I was there.

She brought me 3 shots while I'm playing and I asked for a 4th - of course I'm tipping every time... when she brought the 4th it was in the normal shot glass but about 4-5 times as much booze - almost to the rim. (usually they were about 1/4th full at most)

I pointed out I HAD to drink it - it was a dare - I got it down - backed off after that except for a couple Smirnoffs, and walked out at 11am and took 10 min. to find the Strip - (walked out the wrong door) - went to the Imperial Palace where I played a tourney hungover and on 25 hrs without sleep before I could get into my room.

guess she knew she could save a lot of work by just bringing the next 4 all at once. [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

RB