Best cab driver stories

[Klepton]

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*PAGING SHANT*

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[Notorious G.O.B.]

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1) big group leaving the bars to go home in a van cab. I'm sitting in the way back row and have to pee. So I pee'd over the seat.

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I think you're looking for the 'Most persuasive arguments in favor of prohibition' thread.

[B Dids]

I was there for half of this, but yeah

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*PAGING SHANT*

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[tonypaladino]

This summer I flew in from Florida with my sister and parents, and we got a yellow cab at JFK. This old pakistani cab driver looked like he was 100 years old and had on this think ass glasses and had to lean way up towards the windshield, like he couldn't see if he didn't.

To get from the airport to my house in Brooklyn is pretty straightforward, and we were all tired since our flight was an hour late getting in and we weren't paying any attention to where he was going. So I glance out the window and see a sign for LaGuardia Airport, which is on the other side of town, in the complete opposite direction to where I live.

So I start going "what the [censored]? where are you going?" and the driver's ignoring me, so I say "dude, where are we going?" and he just says "patience please sir". So my mom starts yelling at the guy, saying you're going the wrong way, and all the guy keeps saying is "patience please" over and over again. So we're on the LIE now somehow, and we see a sign for the BQE, and I tell the guy to take this exit and the [censored] drives right past it.

So now I'm mad as hell, and I start screaming at the guy to stop the cab, and when he comes back with a "patience please" I open the car door as we're going 50 on the expressway and force him to pull over to the shoulder. I jump out and start screaming at the guy to get out of the cab, and that one of us was gonna drive the rest of the way. (I'm pretty drink from the flight still, but I think this is how it happened) What I do remember clearly is that I started really freaking out on the side of the highway and my father and sister had to hold me back because I was trying to knock the [censored] out of the cabbie.

Eventually we got back in the cab and the guy found his way back to the BQE and got to my house. In the end the meter wound up reading $80. We gave the guy $50 and I said something like "Hey, you wanna tip? Go [censored] yourself!" and kept cursing him out until he drove off.

[TheMetetron]

You weren't in our cab were you?

I thought it was just me, klepton, shant, mslif, and jason_t... maybe I'm confused.

That was seriously the best cab ride ever.

[cnfuzzd]

see my night in a bottle post, or any of the vegas cab stories.

peace

john nickle

[Phoenix1010]

So what's the story?

[Rootabager]

Visiting a friend in Columbus Ohio I got a cab ride home from the bar. The driver kept pulling out in front of people and driving so crazy. So when we got back to my house I refused to pay him for driving so bad. He started talking [censored] so I dragged him out of his car and beat the [censored] out of him. Then I took a piss on his car.

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Visiting a friend in Columbus Ohio I got a cab ride home from the bar. The driver kept pulling out in front of people and driving so crazy. So when we got back to my house I refused to pay him for driving so bad. He started talking [censored] so I dragged him out of his car and beat the [censored] out of him. Then I took a piss on his car.

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Did you and your frat brothers high five each other after that?

[Phoenix1010]

Yeah, same thing happened to me, except after I beat him up and pissed on his car, he did this kind of throaty call that sounded like a dying emu, I guess it's the cab driver signal. An army of cabbies attacked me from all sides but I bludgeoned them all with my enormous penis. I then went to the original cabbie's house and slapped his mother and had sex with his wife.