Should i continue with online poker career or return to 9-5 job?

[Matt Flynn]

I set the over/under at three weeks before you'd start looking for a regular job.

[Greg (FossilMan)]

[ QUOTE ]
However, i will say this. If we could rewind our lives back 12 yeasr to when we first met and hooked up, if i were to have told her back then that in 10 years from now i will stop working an office job and play poker for a living to support my future family, i don't know if she would have wanted to go much further with me. And could you blame her.

And i bet that goes for most other wives of current internet or live poker pros....

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't know. My wife isn't having any problems with it. ;-)

Hope whichever decision you end up making, that you're happy with it.

Later, Greg Raymer (FossilMan)

[PokerPaul]

Greg, thanks for you reply. Outside from occasional wisecracks here, these 2+2 boards are fantastic place to voice these thoughts and have people who really understand you give useful feedback.

Obviously greg with you your wife is very happy now, with your last 16 months which made most people entire career worth of earning in 1 spot.

But what about just before that, when you were still doing OK, but struggling to get by, and having to resort to solicite backers for entering poker tournaments.

At time it must have been tough or a bit awkward for her too. How did it make you feel?

[Clarkmeister]

if you have to ask...

[Lucky]

The real question is how much do you make playing and how much can you expect to make in 2006? If you're going to make 600k, you're wife will be fine with "stigma." If its 60k, the "stigma" will worsen.

this is a money decision.

[AceHigh]

Are you sure you can get a job at your old salary after being in poker for 18 months? New releases of software usually come out every 18 months or less and it only takes 6 months or so for you to lose some of your technical skills.

Is money that important that you want to be unhappy 8 hours a day?

Suggest to your wife that she get a job. Tell her you will watch the kids when she's at work and play poker at night. That should get her off your back for a while.

[ QUOTE ]
Suggest to your wife that she get a job. Tell her you will watch the kids when she's at work and play poker at night. That should get her off your back for a while.

[/ QUOTE ]Spoken like a man who is single!

[Myrtle]

Paul,

I don’t know if you’re at a ‘crisis’ point yet. That would be defined by you and your wife. However, it is obviously a very serious decision with far reaching ramifications.

I’ve read & re-read your post a couple of times to try to get a handle on what points your decision will hinge. You’ve mentioned a few:

-Long term viability of poker as your sole income.
- Viability of your current skill set in the software industry
- Social stigma
- Your ‘love of the game’.
- ‘Regular job/regular paycheck’
- Emotional swings as a poker ‘pro’
- Classmates entering ‘prime earning years of their careers
- Your 2 children
- Your age
- Which way you want to go in your life.

These are all significant and worthwhile discussion points, and if you think about it (and I’m sure you have!) there are numbers of others that factor into your decision.

Some of the responders to your post (El Diablo, Mark Heide, Greg, and Dogmeat amongst others) have brought up some valid & good points that I believe are well worth considering.

Here’s how I’d attempt to solve the issue.

Step 1.) List all of your viable options; i.e. Full time software (both working for someone else and/or starting your own business); full time poker pro; part-time doing both, etc. Discuss this with your wife to ensure that you are both aware of every option, as there may be others that are not immediately evident. To state the obvious, before you can make a good decision you must know what ALL of your options are, regardless of how acceptable or unacceptable any of them are to either you or your wife.

Step 2.) Make a T-Chart. I’d suggest that both you and your wife do this separately at first. You don’t want either of your opinions influencing the other party. The T-Chart should include the discussion points above, and any other issues that either of you consider relevant. I’d be willing to bet that you list some that she doesn’t, and vice-versa. Assign some kind of ‘weight’ scoring system (1-10 or whatever you fell comfortable with) and score each one of the issues + and – on the T Chart.

Do this separately, and then compare and discuss the two, focusing on agreed upon points first, and then dealing with the disagreements. In computer programming terms: Drill-Down time. Depending upon the volatility of the subjects and the degree of difference of opinion between the two of you, this may not be an easy exercise. However, the reality of the situation is that whatever decision is to be made, it must be made by BOTH of you and supported fully by both of you if it is to have a chance of succeeding.

Once you get to that point, I would then discuss ‘fall-back options and strategies’ that you would collectively put in place should the original plan not go as expected.

To again state the obvious, this is a complicated and emotionally charged issue, and it’s very easy to get side-tracked by many of the important discussion points.

I wish you luck, and remember....Men are from Mars.....Women are from Venus.

[PokerPaul]

thanks myrtle....

i am having an indepth discussion with her about this tonight alreayd, but maybe that T chart suggestion might help.

Sounds like you are in a similar situation perhaps??

Yes men are from mars....women are from venus...but poker fanatics are from womewhere else....

[Myrtle]

Paul,

.....not surrounding poker.

I am very fortunate to have a wonderful, insightful and supportive wife.

Over the years, however, we've had more than our share of disagreements, and after we get over the Mars/Venus bump, we get down to business and work the "options & priorities" until we come to an agreement that we both feel good about.

Good luck again......