What are your favorite lines spoken at the table?

[Demana]

After losing to cowboys, I looked at the guy who took the pot and he says: "What's with all this raising crap? I NEVER raise preflop, it just isn't worth the money."

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
Similar one in my weekly home game. Actually my Brother-In-Law said it, and still swears by it. He called an all-in bet pre-flop with 3 [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]4 [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]! Naturally, he spiked two 4's, and when questioned about his call he said :

"Small suited connectors - Better than a pair."

That's the weekly line now. I think he got that one from Vince Van PAtten.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm practically crying from laughter...the VVP reference only makes it better...I remember when he was commenting on an all ladies tournament: "you can almost SMELL the estrogen in here Mike!"

[JMP300z]

My two favorites:

Calling out "Nuts, Ship it" when ever you win a pot without the nuts (Ie. two all ins and your overs hold, Nuts ship it)

"The best type of hands are the kind where you need one high and one low" (K2,Q3 etc)

also it was great when i called out of the big blind "578", it hit and and yelled "STRAIGHT!". I was holding 46o and roceeded to have 3 people call me down to the river...they didnt believe i was telling the truth.

[VinnyTheFish]

Atlantic City, last New Year’s Eve.

One of the funniest tables ever with 3 Rutgers college kids at a $1/$2 table of 10.

Frat Boy #1 loses two hands in a row, one his straight loses to a higher straight and trips lose to a full boat!

A 4th frat brother walks by and asks: “How you doing?” To which Frat Boy #1 replies (with a drunk slur): “I am getting Jeffery Dahmer’d!”


(* ok, I have a sick sense of humor)

[VinnyTheFish]

XXXXXXX: u always win the big ones

hmmmm

[fishman]

Last night, 5-10 kill. There is a guy who has literally seen every single flop for 3 hours. The rest of the table has made a bit of fun of this off and on. Well, its a kill pot, the kill button raises to $20 UTG, gets one caller, then I think this might be finally the time to get this guy to fold pre flop and raise to $30 with AQo with the express intent of getting him to fold. Nope. He cold calls the $30. I look at him, smile, and very nicely say something like "just can't fold pre flop, huh ?" He says "gotta see my 3 cards".

[daryljobe777]

3/6 Canterbury, college age kid takes down a HUGE pot with 54o in late position.

His friend, who was sitting to the left of him, is giving him crap for winning with such poor cards.

"Oh, come on, give me a break..you KNOW I never come out a winner here!"

Hard to see why! [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[ILL34GL3]

Chat at Party Poker:
player 1: you know you've been playing party too much when you can take a dump between hands
player 2: impressive. i have to sit out 2 or 3 hands... guess i need to practice or something

[LegoDoom]

[ QUOTE ]
Chat at Party Poker:
player 1: you know you've been playing party too much when you can take a dump between hands
player 2: impressive. i have to sit out 2 or 3 hands... guess i need to practice or something

[/ QUOTE ]

People really should invest in a laptop and a wireless network. That way you can take your time.

[SpaceAce]

At the Excalibur $2-$6 I almost never make less than the maximum raise. Sometimes players get annoyed at me. Here are two that struck me as funny (these don't make as much sense unless you know that I almost always say "Make it eight" as I am raising):

Spoken in a slightly whiny tone by a chronic early position limper after about the 50th time I'd raised his limp: "Why are you always making it eight?"

At a tight-passive table, I've been kind of beating up on the single $2 blind whenever I get the chance. After I've raised his blind yet again, he looks at me and, seeming genuinely peeved, snaps in an exasperated tone, "Stop making it eight!"

Here's one where a look spoke a thousand words:

Again at the Excalibur $2-$6, I am playing to the left of a late-40sish female regular. She's nice enough but a terrible player, calling raises, chasing rivers and showing down any pair. She's also generally quite passive pre-flop. Under the gun limps, passive lady raises the maximum to $8 and I look down and see AJo. I send my cards toward the muck but they flip up as they leave my hand. Passive lady looks at my cards and appears completely flabbergasted; her jaw falls open and her eyes get as big as saucers. She stares directly at me and looks almost offended. She simply could not believe I mucked AJ before the flop. The look on her face was absoultely priceless, one of the funniest things I have ever seen in a cardroom. She looked utterly stunned, as if I had just shot lightning from my fingertips. I almost laughed out loud.

SpaceAce