Utterly embarrassing and honest confessions of a 1 year pro

[SenecaJim]

tstone, what you are going through is not pokerplayer exclusive. It's teen angst a little bit. That 's not a putdown. We have all been there.

I feel for you that the commiseration / and or advice you seek ( good stuff from what I read) had to be sought over the internet. You say you are an explorer, that's what meeting new people is about.

You threw out about your lack of social-needy like a badge of honor. Man, that is not a weakness to need friends. The inclination to even make that post ( and a good post it was, I do commend you ) goes against what you say. Along with becoming petulant at some of the responses. LIke one poster stated, hard to say stuff online without looking like a troll.

It's hard without knowing your circumstances, your upbringing, the male role-models in your life. you need some close to you whom you respect to guide you here. If I had pretty much said what you did in your post my family (esp. uncles and male cousins ) would have made my life a living hell. And I would not have been petulant or thought them trollish in the least cause I know they love me. IF they ever coddled my ego or psyche the hair on the back of my neck would stand up in my fear they don't love me anymore.

I don't know you so my comments would be meaningless but If I were an uncle or older brother I would tell you to quit whining about your job and get on with the business of living.

And work friends are great because even if you love your job no job,,NO JOB is perfect. And others with the same job can sympathize and advise like no other. So, since you moved way out from friends and stuff, why didnt' you move to where there are a bunch of pro's located ?

Well, this was longer than I attended. I have worked with young people all my life and I do empathize with the stage you are going through, so, keep your head up and as we always chanted in wrestling, Never give in, Never give in, Never, Never, Never give in . that mantra has gotten me through some tough times.

[12AX7]

Hi TStone,
Geez, I was thinking just the opposite. As I've written elsewhere, my gut is screaming that online poker is going to become a software arms race.

Have you found that not to be true?

Just out of curiousity, do you use any of the additional software tools?

I agree that the convienence and environmental factors of online are superior. Though I do miss seeing Donna Harris in all her elegance over at the Mirage... :-)

As for the getting out a socializing thing. Well, you just gotta go do it. I can't say what the best approach is. in the 80's and 90's I spent countless nights on the night scene in the Palm Beaches. It was a total "looks and money" scene. You had to have curb appeal in a 120db night club...."Flash".

After all it was the "money money money" Reagan years era. So as a working class systems programmer I was destined to lose in that game as the children of the wealthy in the area had all the toys and the right address.

It's a rat race out there, and in the corps. of america too.

I guess I'm the wrong person to discuss such things because my view is that of an idealist who, by seeing that ideals are not really pursued by humanity in general, has become a cynic.

There's "what we say", "what we really do" and... if you dicsuss the discrepancy... "you have an attitude problem". LOL!

Seems everyone read "The Prince" by Machiavelli and took it as the handbook, instead of the short term solution it was meant to be. And classically enough... it got *him* banished! LOL!

Galileo had the same problem.... he said, "Just Look!" and they jumped him too.

So all I can say is tread carefully, but always follow the beat of your own drummer. Only you know what's right for you.

:-)

[TStoneMBD]

ill comment on the software arms race comment.

of course i use assisting software to play internet poker. im always looking for new products hitting the market and gladly shell out the cash to use them. in fact, i would prefer it if these software companies would up their costs of member usage because it deters fish from buying the programs themselves. you have players on these forums who are concerned with shelling out the $20-$50 that a program demands, which is just silly. i think that in general, most fish just arent going to want to spend the money to buy these programs and they arent going to spend the time learning how to make them useful.

internet poker is very profitable right now. for how long? i dont know, but at least a few years for certain. beyond that is all up for grabs, but if we are fortunate enough to see an internet poker company with low rake fees come along and rival the big boys, internet poker will become so much more profitable especially for the midlimit players. im paying over 10k a month in rake alone. how ridiculous is that?

[Emperor]

$10K per month in rake is nothing, IF IT GETS SPENT ON ADVERTISING, to bring in new fish. (Which only a small % at PArty actually is)

24h Poker offered to cap the rake at $100/month for all 2+2ers. It was a flop. With no advertising revenue they can't run commercials and there is no fish. Pro's get tired of the tight games and move to softer games NO MATTER WHAT THE RAKE.

I actually think the site that will overcome Party will adopt a multi-level rakeback scheme like PokerChamps. However it will also charge enough rake to offer bonuses AND do a lot of TV advertising.

[TimWillTell]

Amazing, so many reactions this post got. As if we all feel you are on the brink of...

I cannot believe that you are younger than 21. My gues is that you are about 27 years old. Your talk just isn't that of an adolesent.
There are many inconcistancies in your statements, that indicate both financial and psycological problems.
Are you really that succesful in poker?
I don't think so, think you can barely pay the rent.
Happy? I'm thinking 'manic-depressed'.
Although to me your 'honest confessions" don't seem honest at all, I give you credit for starting a very succesful thread. Keep it up!
As for any advise? I'm afraid you're just too far gone.
However, if there's anything that might help you, it's quitting poker. Poker no good for you.

[dealer_toe]

[ QUOTE ]
Amazing, so many reactions this post got. As if we all feel you are on the brink of...

I cannot believe that you are younger than 21. My gues is that you are about 27 years old. Your talk just isn't that of an adolesent.
There are many inconcistancies in your statements, that indicate both financial and psycological problems.
Are you really that succesful in poker?
I don't think so, think you can barely pay the rent.
Happy? I'm thinking 'manic-depressed'.
Although to me your 'honest confessions" don't seem honest at all, I give you credit for starting a very succesful thread. Keep it up!
As for any advise? I'm afraid you're just too far gone.
However, if there's anything that might help you, it's quitting poker. Poker no good for you.

[/ QUOTE ]

You should probably sprint off a cliff.

[TStoneMBD]

hahaha, nice troll account whoever you are.

[ianlippert]

Even those trolls have given you some good advice. I just started posting on this board so I'm not really up on all the board politics, lol. But some of these guys that are trashing you are saying some truely honest things to you. Everytime someone suggests something to you, you come up with some excuse ($250 for an animal? pay it!). You brush off their comments with "I'm planning on doing....", but it seems like your plans are going no where. What have you done in the past week do aleviate your situation? Have you even opened a paper to see whats going on in your local area? I'm not being a troll, but you gave an honest assessment of yourself to complete strangers (not easy to do) and should expect to recieve honest answers.

I'm 25 and am returning to school for something I am truely interested, Physics. I'm not going back to get a degree and get a job (although that may eventually happen), but for the pure enjoyment of school. I would love to be able to play poker part time and go to school part time. If I was able to do that I would probably make that my 'career'. You are 20 yrs old, you need to get out there and have a good time before its too late. School is definately one of the best options for you right now. Dont go for a degree, find a few courses that interest you, and then join every campus club you possibly can. Trust me, you wont regret it.

[Dave H.]

If you truly want to be happy and content, then find a volunteer activity and go do it. It really doesn't matter much what it is, just give your time to someone else (FOR FREE), do it regularly, even when it hurts. And, by regularly, I'm not talking about once a week. If you can do that for 6 months, your life will change and I would love to see you post your experiences.

[Rootabager]

It sucks you have a year lease. I would suggest moving to a college campus to be around people. Also there are alot of girls there, which is the best reason.