Bump it up, Pai Gow Style

[J.A.Sucker]

The other night, a local pro who usually plays very well and keeps his head about him really got smacked around in the 100-200 game at Bay 101. He was stuck over 10K, and the live ones just left, leaving the game short, so he took a walk and quit. The worst part about his evening is that he cross-booked 25% with another guy partway in the session and lost another 2500 in that prop bet, so it wasn't a good day for our intrepid gambler. In fact, it was the first time I've ever seen him completely gone.

Anyway, I played for about an hour more and quit myself, stopping by my box to drop off my money. By happenstance, my box is located in the Gold Room of the Asian games section, where all the shizzle goes down. I'm on the way out the door when my buddy comes up to me and says "White Boy, let's go play Pai Gow." I told him I didn't have any money on me, and he said "OK, watch me, White Boy!" so I did.

My buddy peels off a grand and a 10 for the vig and goes kum-kum with the banker. They lose a bit, so he's got about 400 left. They bank it again and lost the rest. He peels off another grand and 10, and is playing for 200 a hand, winning some, losing some. The truly amazing thing is that he hasn't pushed a single hand! After awhile, there's like 5 regular 1-2 players sweating this death-spiral in action. He's about even though, and I tell him to bump that shizzle up, 'cause I feel it coming this time and you can't expect to win unless you bet that stuff up. He says, "OK, you feel it White Boy?" I said "Of course, bro."

He spreads out his last 2000 (maxing out the limit on the table). The dude next to him was kind enough to cover his juice (20 bucks). About this time, Boris walks by and sees us and figures out what's up. We all sweat our buddy's hand...

A-5-???-(Joker)-9-6-7.... all black. He's sqeezing the hell out of that last card, and slowly peaks at it. There's like 6 guys straining to see what it is...

Bingo. 8. Home run baby!

AA IN FRONT, 9 HI STRAIGHT IN BACK.

Now in Pai Gow, this is like the stone-cold nuts. Of course there is a lock up front (I guess he'd lose to a banker AA up front, but whatever), and a straight is a true monster in the back. Double up time baby. All the buddy's friends (who are all Asian) are like "Yeah, White Boy! He's feeling it!!!" We're high-fiving it all over. Awesome stuff.

So the dealer, who is a constant donator in the 1-2 game and realizes what's going on, spreads the bank's hand:

KJ up front. Hell yeah, boy!

K-4-T-5-2 in the back. Hell yeah, boy! Wait a second, they're all red! Flush. FUKC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Push.

I say to my buddy "Go home." and I was out the door before he could turn around.