Popping the question

[RunDownHouse]

[ QUOTE ]
all i know is, if i ever ask this question, it's going to be more of a "yo, you wanna do this thing?" kind of scenario.

[/ QUOTE ]
Its pretty much a given with my girlfriend and I, and we are just waiting until we have some money squirreled away.

On a side note, I absolutely despise the whole diamond industry and tradition of somehow proving my love with an incredibly expensive rock. Two months salary? I think not. Given that my girlfriend is not a money-grubbing whore, but isn't a hippy either, is there any way I can get out of buying a ring?

[PoBoy321]

There's actually a lot of symbolism that goes into the tradition of giving a diamond wedding ring, so I think that even a girl who isn't a money-grubbing whore is gonna want one.

I would check out BlueNile.com, they are supposedly despised by the diamond industry because they undercut the general market by so much.

[Malachii]

[ QUOTE ]
Given that my girlfriend is not a money-grubbing whore, but isn't a hippy either, is there any way I can get out of buying a ring?

[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah, make sure she knows what a cheap bastard you are so she'll say no when you ask!

I kid, I kid... [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
Given that my girlfriend is not a money-grubbing whore, but isn't a hippy either, is there any way I can get out of buying a ring?

[/ QUOTE ]


Shark tooth necklace.

And you could have a bell, so the beggars and urchins could run away when you are coming, and save the time to ask for spare pennies.

[PoBoy321]

This actually reminds me of something. When my parents got engaged, my dad had just started his own business and money was kind of tight, so even though they knew that they wanted to get married, he couldn't afford an engagement ring.

So naturally, 25 years down the line, my dad owns a successful restaurant, money isn't tight any more, so you'd better believe that my mom wants her engagement ring.

I guess the short answer is no, there's no way of getting out of it.

Personally, I would want to buy it for her, and I'd want to buy her the biggest, most beautiful most expensive ring I ould find because I worked with a girl over the summer who had gotten engaged and with all the ooohs and aaahs her ring got, I'm sure she felt like the envy of everyone she saw. So, I would want nothing more than for my future wife to feel that exact same way.

[Isura]

[ QUOTE ]
all i know is, if i ever ask this question, it's going to be more of a "yo, you wanna do this thing?" kind of scenario.

[/ QUOTE ]

Funny, that's exactly how it happened with my parents. This seems like a much better approach tha shocking someone with an outrageously expensive gift, and put both of you in a really awkward situation when she is unsure.

[xadrez]

[ QUOTE ]
all i know is, if i ever ask this question, it's going to be more of a "yo, you wanna do this thing?" kind of scenario.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, I see City Hall in m future.

[PoBoy321]

I think that if you've been going out with a girl long enough that you would be considering popping the question, she probably would have, at some point, mentioned what type of ring she'd want to get, so pay attention to that.

As for traditions changing, I think that many women find something romantic about a kind of old-fashioned engagement (i.e. asking the father first, making it a surprise, etc.).

Also, I know that chobohoya got engaged late last year, so he might have some particularly meaningful insight if he decides to respond.

[PokerGoblin]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm only 19, so I don't plan on having to do this anytime in the near future, but I feel it's an area where I should be knowledgeable.

[/ QUOTE ]

This statement is so disturbing on so many levels.

Lucky for you I have had just enough beers to enlighten you.

Al Bundy said it best when he said:

"A man is a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes your wife."

You say "I don't plan on having to do this..." Thats the thing. Society has brainwashed us into thinking that marriage is the natural progression of manhood. You get educated, you meet someone, you get married, you have kids... blah blah blah.

Why is it a prerequisite of adulthood to get married? Women feel this pressure more than men do. They get into their mid to late 20's and all of a sudden their friends of similar ages have families and it immediately becomes paramount that they follow suit. This of course increases the pressure on their S.O.s and on men in general exponentially.

You also say: "but I feel it's an area where I should be knowledgeable."

Why? Do you feel that it is your duty to be someone's 'knight in shining armor'? Do you feel obligated to someday be married?

The thing is, and the point of all this is that marriage is not a bad thing when it's done the right way with the right person. But I think that there is a pressure put on young men in our society to settle down and get married and conform to all the things that fit that mold. Those pressures were there when your parents married but I think they're worse now.

I remember when I was in college and I was 19 when I entered what was the first 'serious' relationship of my life. Her parents treated me like a son after we'd been together only a short time and they acted like it was a foregone conclusion that we'd one day get married after we'd both graduated and such... the point is I felt additional pressure because of the conclusions others had come to about things when I wasn't ready for the committment, not did I ever feel like it was something I might ever want for myself.

Obviously this comes agross as a drunken rant (and rightfully so) but the thing is, I don't care how serious things are between you and your g/f (if you even have a g/f), you have a lot fo things you need to experience before the idea of marriage even enters your head.

Establish your education and your employment. Live life and realize that the committments will still be possible later in life. Don't let outside influences dictate your priorities.

This rant is over.

PG

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm only 19, so I don't plan on having to do this anytime in the near future, but I feel it's an area where I should be knowledgeable.

[/ QUOTE ]

This statement is so disturbing on so many levels.

Lucky for you I have had just enough beers to enlighten you.

Al Bundy said it best when he said:

"A man is a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes your wife."

You say "I don't plan on having to do this..." Thats the thing. Society has brainwashed us into thinking that marriage is the natural progression of manhood. You get educated, you meet someone, you get married, you have kids... blah blah blah.

Why is it a prerequisite of adulthood to get married? Women feel this pressure more than men do. They get into their mid to late 20's and all of a sudden their friends of similar ages have families and it immediately becomes paramount that they follow suit. This of course increases the pressure on their S.O.s and on men in general exponentially.

You also say: "but I feel it's an area where I should be knowledgeable."

Why? Do you feel that it is your duty to be someone's 'knight in shining armor'? Do you feel obligated to someday be married?

The thing is, and the point of all this is that marriage is not a bad thing when it's done the right way with the right person. But I think that there is a pressure put on young men in our society to settle down and get married and conform to all the things that fit that mold. Those pressures were there when your parents married but I think they're worse now.

I remember when I was in college and I was 19 when I entered what was the first 'serious' relationship of my life. Her parents treated me like a son after we'd been together only a short time and they acted like it was a foregone conclusion that we'd one day get married after we'd both graduated and such... the point is I felt additional pressure because of the conclusions others had come to about things when I wasn't ready for the committment, not did I ever feel like it was something I might ever want for myself.

Obviously this comes agross as a drunken rant (and rightfully so) but the thing is, I don't care how serious things are between you and your g/f (if you even have a g/f), you have a lot fo things you need to experience before the idea of marriage even enters your head.

Establish your education and your employment. Live life and realize that the committments will still be possible later in life. Don't let outside influences dictate your priorities.

This rant is over.

PG

[/ QUOTE ]

Dude, he's just asking about how the ring thing works. Well put though, I agree.