Homeless Antics

When I was in the Army in Texas me and a friend were leaving a bar and a homeless guy with no legs on a wheelchair came over and started telling us some sob story about how he lost his legs in 'Nam and had to travel 300 miles to go the VA hospital and someone stole his money and blah blah blah, he needed $40 for a bus ticket to get home. I of course knew he was full of [censored] but my friend, being a big dumb country hick from north carolina, felt sorry for him and gave all the cash he had on him, like 35 bucks and then convinced me to give him 5 so he could get his bus ticket.

Anyway, a couple weeks later we see the guy sitting behind a jack n the box drinking a 40. My friend, who was driving, slammed on the brakes and parked about 2 feet in front of the guy and got out screaming. I had to physically restrain him for 5 minutes while the bum sat there and laughed. After I finally got him in the car, the guy looked at me and said "anyone dumb enough to fall my story deserves to lose his money"

[B Dids]

This is so similar as to the other thread that I've got question if this really happened or if you were just hoping that your thread would go as well as that one did.

I don't know if I posted this in here or not, but about 2 months ago I decided that the line between "homeless" and "bum" was if you smelled like piss or not.

[ QUOTE ]
This is so similar as to the other thread that I've got question if this really happened or if you were just hoping that your thread would go as well as that one did.

I don't know if I posted this in here or not, but about 2 months ago I decided that the line between "homeless" and "bum" was if you smelled like piss or not.

[/ QUOTE ]

Cartman- "Mr. Garrison, why do poor people smell like sour milk?"

Mr. Garrison- "I don't know Eric, they just do."

[tdarko]

[ QUOTE ]
he busted out a thousand pushups? damn...

[/ QUOTE ]
the strange thing is that he seemed to never really get tired, and even though he was hammering them out fast as hell it took a really long time.

the things you will watch when you are drunk.

[A_C_Slater]

I once beat the living [censored] out of a homeless guy because he had misspelled the word "veteran" on his sign. This worthless piece of [censored] actually spelled it "vetaran." [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

Can you believe that [censored]?

[kipin]

Gay bums in Vienna.

[ddss6_99]

In Toronto for a hockey tournament a few years ago, my team and I were walking to the Hard Rock Cafe in the Skydome. A bum on the sidewalk comes up and asks us for change. Some people gave him a few bucks or whatever. So we go eat and start to walk back. I see the same "bum" cross the street and get into a Lexus and drive away.

[asofel]

So did they charge you a dollar? [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[eviljeff]

there are some great stories here:
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=4250

[shant]

I think I have the best homeless person story. Well, not best, but I certainly top most people's stories when this topic gets going.

I was living in SF and had just bought my lunch from Sliders[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] on Polk. I lived kinda in the Tenderloin so I was walking home and I passed a homeless shelter along the way. It was across the street.

This homeless lady comes running towards me in a really odd way and shes grabbing at her skirt and screaming unintelligible stuff. She stops like maybe 3 feet away from me at the curb. She turns around, still screaming, and bends over. She flips her skirt over her back and exposes to me that she's not wearing any underwear.

So as you can guess a homeless lady's private region isn't the best thing to look at before eating lunch since it had lots of discolored skin and sores and I won't go on about that. Anyway, if that wasn't bad enough, she starts to shoot projectile diarrhea like a fountain onto the sidewalk, all the while still screaming. When I say fountain I mean it, it was like a stream of browness. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

At that point I think I was in shock because it felt like I had been watching for hours but I'm sure it was only a few seconds. I threw my lunch into the trash went home and curled up into the fetal position for a few hours.