Should I force my Mom's Hand????

[CardSharpCook]

My father and his two brothers are in a comparable situation. My grandmother needs round the clock care. This would be more affordably provided in a nursing home. However, they feel it would be too hard on her to handle that change. So they pay for home care. Now, they can afford it. And, the 3 brothers split the burden. This isn't the case with you, is it? I mean, it is different on the one hand -> you'll never have a family of your own to support. So then it is a question to you. How much $$ is your mother's happiness worth to you? How long can you afford to pay her bills when there are less expensive options? It isn't your mother's hand, it is your hand. Will you wait for something to force the issue or will you do what you clearly feel you need to do?

[bholdr]

dude, you are getting seriously hosed. try this:

sometimes the best thing for a person you love isn't what they'd prefer. you love your mom, right?

seriously, buy the house from her, continue to pay the (hopefully more reasonable) morgatge, screw your non-contributing sibs.

[CardSharpCook]

welcome back to OOT. Even if it is just for our sagely advice on one issue.

[JaBlue]

No matter what you do, you have to do what's best for you. Your mom did raise you and all, but that's what she signed up for when she had a kid. Sure you owe her for everything she's done for you but if living with her is destroying your life, you just have to fix it for yourself

[Dave G.]

If she's splitting the house between the rest of your family and you're the only one contributing, and she won't put your name on the deed, then you should definitely say something.

For me, it's not about the money, it's just... it seems like she has a total lack of respect for you and what you're doing for her. It's holding you back from what you really want to do and where you want your life to go. It's obviously making you unhappy. And she is obviously never going to get over the loss of her husband. Do you really want to spend 20 more years living like this?

It's a really tough situation... but you have your own life to live. You only have a limited amount of time here. Don't spend a large portion of your life in this situation - you will regret it.

She is using you as some kind of replacement for your father. You need to confront her and tell her it's time for her to deal with it and move on, and sell the house. If she refuses, then you need to leave and move on with your life too. I don't think that's selfish - and I think it's better than crippling your own ambitions for someone who doesn't seem to respect you and what you have done for her.

[Blarg]

His supporting her this way would be a lot more fair if he were done with school. He's got enough money drainage and pressure as it is.

[Dave G.]

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His supporting her this way would be a lot more fair if he were done with school. He's got enough money drainage and pressure as it is.

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It'd be a lot fairer if his brother and sister were helping, too.

[Blarg]

Yeah, looks like that ceased being an option long ago, though.

get drunk and call her

[LeatherFace]

You have to tell your mom you love her but as long as your paying the bills you are allowed to bring cock back home with you.