Storytime

[tdarko]

[ QUOTE ]
What ever the size of your dick you must have huge balls to tell this story here

[/ QUOTE ]
maybe his huge balls just give the appearance that his wang is small? kind of like shaq standing next to karl malone.

[Dave G.]

Okay this happened to a guy I knew in high school (seriously, it wasn't me. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img])

He was in drama class performing some small play. We'll call him Tim, because that was his name. Our grade in high school was interesting because there were an awful lot of lesbian / bisexual types (most of them were pretty feral however).

So these chicks get up to do a short play they'd created. Tim is part of the play. The play devolves into a lesbian scene between two of the chicks. They dance, and they kiss briefly.

At this point, someone points out that Tim's wang is poking through his pants. He was as hard as a rock, looks like the little lesbian scene had got him all fired up and ready to go!

Everyone in the class bursts out laughing. He stands there with a look of bewilderment / horror at his predicament. A few seconds later, he bursts into tears and runs out of the room as fast as he could.

Talk about traumatised for life. High school can be so cruel. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[DavidC]

[ QUOTE ]
Dude...you were going to vomit anyway unless this chick is A)the absolute worst kisser ever and B) has an insanely long tongue.

The tongue should never get past the teeth.

[/ QUOTE ]

If the answer is B, I'm jealous. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Okay this happened to a guy I knew in high school (seriously, it wasn't me. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img])

He was in drama class performing some small play. We'll call him Tim, because that was his name. Our grade in high school was interesting because there were an awful lot of lesbian / bisexual types (most of them were pretty feral however).

So these chicks get up to do a short play they'd created. Tim is part of the play. The play devolves into a lesbian scene between two of the chicks. They dance, and they kiss briefly.

At this point, someone points out that Tim's wang is poking through his pants. He was as hard as a rock, looks like the little lesbian scene had got him all fired up and ready to go!

Everyone in the class bursts out laughing. He stands there with a look of bewilderment / horror at his predicament. A few seconds later, he bursts into tears and runs out of the room as fast as he could.

Talk about traumatised for life. High school can be so cruel. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm pretty sure every guy popped a boner in class at some point in high school. But to run crying out of the classroom is just pathetic.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
The tongue should never get past the teeth.

[/ QUOTE ]

A lot of people say this, but I disagree entirely. I enjoy some tongue action.

[DavidC]

I know I'm coming into this about 10 hours too late, but regardless of whether the story was true or not, I'll post three embarassing moments. None of which really approach the OP. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

-------

1) I'm at my new college for computer programming. I'm talking with an older woman who's a student there, smart lady, used to be in air traffic control. (She's married and middle-aged, btw.) Anyways, I see an insanely hot chick smoking, I'm not really the popular type, so I lament, "You know what sucks, hot chicks either smoke, or hang out with idiots."

She looks at me and says, "Well, Dave, I don't smoke, so you must be an idiot."

----

2) I'm on a first date. My first GF loved vanilla, would use vanilla shampoo and her hair always smelled wonderful. The person I'm on the date with is having a good time, things are going well, and we hug. I look deeply into her eyes and say, "Your hair smells... like hair."

You should be seeing a pattern of social stupidity developing here. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

As an aside, a word of advice if you a playing pool on a first date. If you can get away with it, use one cue. It brings you together more often.

---

3) I was ordering at a fast food place, looking the waitress right in the eyes, deep voice, smiling, and just generally very aggressive body language. It was enough that the waitress actually stuttered when taking my order after serving the rest of the line ahead of me flawlessly.

A few things here: I hope that she wasn't completely nervous and offended. It's ridiculously easy to do this to women who are maybe 15-16. I had no intention of hitting it.

Anyways, I'm with two friends. She goes to get my stuff and my one buddy says, "Holy [censored], Dave, that was so smooth." My other buddy (one behind the first buddy) says loudly, "Dave's gunna be POPPIN' some cheries tonight!"

Everyone in line, and at the tables closest to the line, looked directly at my buddy, then at me, while myself and buddy #1 were looking at the offender with our mouths wide open, in shock.

Funny part is that I don't think the waitress heard, because of noise from coolers and other machines / distance from the offender, etc.

---

I hope you enjoyed my lame stories. I guess you had to be there.

[img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

--Dave.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
1) I'm at my new college for computer programming. I'm talking with an older woman who's a student there, smart lady, used to be in air traffic control. (She's married and middle-aged, btw.) Anyways, I see an insanely hot chick smoking, I'm not really the popular type, so I lament, "You know what sucks, hot chicks either smoke, or hang out with idiots."

She looks at me and says, "Well, Dave, I don't smoke, so you must be an idiot."

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think this should be embarrassing. I would have laughed pretty hard. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[DavidC]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The tongue should never get past the teeth.

[/ QUOTE ]

A lot of people say this, but I disagree entirely. I enjoy some tongue action.

[/ QUOTE ]

I support Jake in this matter.

[STLantny]

Relatively tame one, for some reason my mind is blank on the really good ones


Im 19, just moved out on my own for the first time, with 3 other guys in a huge, huge house. We are having a small 20-30 person party, and some of us are sitting around a poker table just bullshiting. There is a girl there that is super, exceptionally hot. And at the same time, I look at my friend, he looks at me, and we mumbled, "Im going to nail her tonight, no i am, may the best man win." Night goes on, I have more in common with her/she took more of an interest in me, so I know I have it in the bag. My friend leaves because he is getting a ride back to his place (he is wasted), and I sit downstairs at the party with her for a little bit, before we go up to my room. Finally teh time comes, we go up, she gets undressed, I take my jeans/shirt off, we get into bed at teh same time. My bed is soaked. Like there is a pool of water. She starts screaming "Why is your bed soaked" I say, "no clue", I washed my bedding today, I must have not dried them well enough, she was drunk enough to buy it. So I got a couple sleeping bags out, and we had wild sex on the floor. I never put 2 and 2 together. About 2 weeks later, we are smoking it up on our back porch, and Im recounting the whole experience, and my friend starts laughing so hard he is in tears, Im like WTF. He was so drunk, adn thought it would be funny, he poured a huge bottle of water on my bed, in return for getting the girl..

[peterchi]

[ QUOTE ]
It helps if you tell a believable story.

[/ QUOTE ]
wtf??

This story happens all the time. I've had many friends tell me about this happening to them.

And frankly, I think jokerthief told it very well. I laughed throughout it even as I knew what was coming.