TMI goes here

[LethalRose]

I smoke rocks.

[HopeydaFish]

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I masturbate everyday and when my wife catches me I mix my sperm in food that I cook for her. She has never given me oral, but she doesn't know I feed her my juice.

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Here's another one from notproud.com:

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used to jack off in the woods, near a hiking trail where I knew people walk. I'd scope the trail below (i was on a small hill) for teenage girls or young women hiking without parents or boyfriends. As i'd hear them approaching and talking to each other i'd cough and often the noise would catch their attention. I always positioned myself so they had a profile view of me stroking my cock. The sunglasses I wore would afford me the ability to glance from the side of my eyes and see if they were looking without me actually turning to see. If I acted like I didn't know they were there then they'd usually watch from the trail (30 feet away) till I spurted. Only four times out of perhaps 50 times I did this did the woman actually walk up to me and watch from close. Of those four, one jacked me off herself. Not a good batting average is it? Still, the thrill of being watched by teen girls was worth it.

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I'm not sure what's more pathetic, that he used to expose himself to teenage girls, or that he felt the need to lie about one of them approaching and jacking him off.