Having kids when you aren't wealthy.... - Page 2

STLantny · #11 08-19-2005, 01:24 AM

IMHO there are two types of guys:
Guy number 1:
Guy is kind of douche baggish, but not that bad. He is just there.
Guy gets a girl, and sings the praises of how its great to have a gf/kids/etc. Of course he is pussywhipped.
Guy gets married too early.
Guy ends up being unhappy after awhile.
Guy gets divorced.

Guy number 2.
Guy is not a douche bag.
Guy is fun, outgoing, has lots of friends.
Guy sleeps with a bunch of chicks, but doesnt stick to one.
Guy ends up getting married later in life 30-40.
Guy lives to be 90 with his wife.

This is from my experience from my friends, and family that I have noticed. It just seems that all the 19-23 year olds who sing the praises of being in a relationship, and make sure you know about it are the ones that [censored] up later in life. Dont be that guy.

JaBlue · #12 08-19-2005, 01:29 AM

[ QUOTE ]
IMHO there are two types of guys:
Guy number 1:
Guy is kind of douche baggish, but not that bad. He is just there.
Guy gets a girl, and sings the praises of how its great to have a gf/kids/etc. Of course he is pussywhipped.
Guy gets married too early.
Guy ends up being unhappy after awhile.
Guy gets divorced.

Guy number 2.
Guy is not a douche bag.
Guy is fun, outgoing, has lots of friends.
Guy sleeps with a bunch of chicks, but doesnt stick to one.
Guy ends up getting married later in life 30-40.
Guy lives to be 90 with his wife.

This is from my experience from my friends, and family that I have noticed. It just seems that all the 19-23 year olds who sing the praises of being in a relationship, and make sure you know about it are the ones that [censored] up later in life. Dont be that guy.

[/ QUOTE ]

For guy #2
It's hard to believe you know people that have been married from 30 to 90 because at that time the vast majority of people were getting married much earlier than that.

STLantny · #13 08-19-2005, 01:31 AM

What I mean is, the people who do get married at 30-40, are truly much more happy than the kids that I see getting married now. They arent at that 50 year aniv, but you just know they will be.

RacersEdge · #14 08-19-2005, 01:33 AM

One thing I never agreed with was the idea of saving up money to hand to your kids for college. That's silly. If they know they have to pay off loans, they will not screw around in college.

newfant · #15 08-19-2005, 01:33 AM

[ QUOTE ]
IMHO there are two types of guys:
Guy number 1:
Guy is kind of douche baggish, but not that bad. He is just there.
Guy gets a girl, and sings the praises of how its great to have a gf/kids/etc. Of course he is pussywhipped.
Guy gets married too early.
Guy ends up being unhappy after awhile.
Guy gets divorced.

Guy number 2.
Guy is not a douche bag.
Guy is fun, outgoing, has lots of friends.
Guy sleeps with a bunch of chicks, but doesnt stick to one.
Guy ends up getting married later in life 30-40.
Guy lives to be 90 with his wife.

This is from my experience from my friends, and family that I have noticed. It just seems that all the 19-23 year olds who sing the praises of being in a relationship, and make sure you know about it are the ones that [censored] up later in life. Dont be that guy.

[/ QUOTE ]

What about guy number 3:

Guy is a douche.
Rarely gets laid.
No girl will have him.
He gets a good job and at 35-40 has enough money to purchase a mail-order bride from some foreign country.

KaneKungFu123 · #16 08-19-2005, 01:34 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If you are not willing to be a slave to your children, at any income level...Don't have kids.

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See, I disagree with this wholeheartedly, and it's why I find a lot of merit in what OP said. I don't think it's GOOD to be a slave to your children -- kids have SO many liberties, SO much "concern" constantly thrust on them from all angles...they end up being treated like they're some sort of deity...and that's why so many of them are brats that I'd just as soon kick in the junk as pass by them in the grocery store.

At the same time, if you don't have money -- you're gonna be a slave to your kids whether you lavish them with everything or not. You're gonna be a slave just to pay all the bills and keep them clothed, fed, in school, teach them some things, spend time with them...

Whereas...if you DO have money, you can afford to get your kids whatever they need, you have time to spend with your kids without it being your ONLY free time, AND you can afford babysitters for time just with your spouse. I maintain the happiest kids are ones who have parents that are happy with one another. Having money affords you the opportunity to take one night a week on your own, and maybe one week a year for an adults-only vacation...and STILL have the time and money you need to provide good things for your kids, as well.

Good post, OP.

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this is a really great post.

i [censored] hate parents that revolve around their kids.
where will we eat dinner? lets ask johnny, he is 5 and should decide for us. WTF?

i will have a kid, and love it, and it will be great.
but im not going to revolve around it. im not going to let my kid be the boss, like the majority of parents do.

and for other posters. i dont care about the added expenses. im not selfish. i just dont want to live pay check to paycheck and have to count pennies and have a stroke everyime i get the credit card bill.

i will have kids. but i will be an adult. they will be a kid. we are not the same. alot of parents act like they are the same.

KaneKungFu123 · #17 08-19-2005, 01:36 AM

Yeah, I agree. People spoil the hell out of their kids. My Dad was a real dick sometimes, but he was honest about the world with me. he didnt make me close my eyes when the chick took her shirt off in a movie.

[ QUOTE ]
One thing I never agreed with was the idea of saving up money to hand to your kids for college. That's silly. If they know they have to pay off loans, they will not screw around in college.

[/ QUOTE ]

#18 08-19-2005, 01:40 AM

great post! i think about this often. if you're poor, DO NOT REPRODUCE! you simply cannot afford to raise a healthy, mentally stable family if you do not have boatloads of cash. PERIOD!

edit: i would just like to add that money isn't everything, it's the only thing. those who disagree, are obviously kidding themselves.

touchfaith · #19 08-19-2005, 01:41 AM

This thread is sad on many levels.

None of you should spawn.

Here's a hint:

Being a parent is about making sacrafices which afford your children opportunity.

If you consider something like leting a crying brat 5 year old choose where you eat "making a sacrafice" or "affording them opportunity"...

...You've already lost.

djj6835 · #20 08-19-2005, 01:42 AM

[ QUOTE ]
One thing I never agreed with was the idea of saving up money to hand to your kids for college. That's silly. If they know they have to pay off loans, they will not screw around in college.

[/ QUOTE ]

Speaking as a kid whose parents pay for my college, I honestly don't know a single person whose parents don't pay for their education. They also all work very hard in school myself included, so I'm not really sure who you're talking about, but it's not anyone I know.