A poker "buddy" killed himself today

[Komodo]

Thats from these type of people a good amount of the poker money comes from.
Sorry it got that far. You saw what was happening, but its not easy to know what to do when he only listens to his own voice.

[CaptSensible]

[ QUOTE ]
Thats from these type of people a good amount of the poker money comes from.
Sorry it got that far. You saw what was happening, but its not easy to know what to do when he only listens to his own voice.

[/ QUOTE ]

There's no way someone can see that someone is embezzeling money and on the verge of suicide. I don't know if you meant it like that or not though.

On your other point, that "these are the kind of people where poker money comes from". I've thought about that in the past and it does trouble me a little bit. I'm a pretty ethical person and I do think it's wrong to take money from people who are in trouble financially and emotionally.
I've actually left tables where it's very obvious that there's a person there who just shouldn't be ie; I was playing at hollywood park and there are just too many people playing with with welfare checks, rent checks etc...
I don't play there any more. too depressing and doesn't feel good.

[Komodo]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">Svar till:</font><hr />
</font><blockquote><font class="small">Svar till:</font><hr />
Thats from these type of people a good amount of the poker money comes from.
Sorry it got that far. You saw what was happening, but its not easy to know what to do when he only listens to his own voice.

[/ QUOTE ]

There's no way someone can see that someone is embezzeling money and on the verge of suicide. I don't know if you meant it like that or not though.

On your other point, that "these are the kind of people where poker money comes from". I've thought about that in the past and it does trouble me a little bit. I'm a pretty ethical person and I do think it's wrong to take money from people who are in trouble financially and emotionally.
I've actually left tables where it's very obvious that there's a person there who just shouldn't be ie; I was playing at hollywood park and there are just too many people playing with with welfare checks, rent checks etc...
I don't play there any more. too depressing and doesn't feel good.

[/ QUOTE ]

The op didnt know he was stealing money or on the verge of suicide of course, but he felt something was very wrong (Playing above bankroll, bad table selection, no book reading no twoplustwo.com etc etc).
What can you do when he answers that he is a winning player and denies everything?

[MikeNaked]

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I know how it 'Rocks your World'.

My main point to OP is that his reaction right now is probably normal but he should be carefully watching himself for signs of inappropriate anxiety or depression.

I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

As I said before, use this as an opportunity to evaluate your own life and decisions. Events like these really put it all into perspective.

[/ QUOTE ]


Great response. Aside from the loss (for which I am greatly sorry), your freaked-out-edness is also stemming from your friend's reflection into yourself.

[CaptSensible]

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Thats from these type of people a good amount of the poker money comes from.
Sorry it got that far. You saw what was happening, but its not easy to know what to do when he only listens to his own voice.

[/ QUOTE ]

There's no way someone can see that someone is embezzeling money and on the verge of suicide. I don't know if you meant it like that or not though.

On your other point, that "these are the kind of people where poker money comes from". I've thought about that in the past and it does trouble me a little bit. I'm a pretty ethical person and I do think it's wrong to take money from people who are in trouble financially and emotionally.
I've actually left tables where it's very obvious that there's a person there who just shouldn't be ie; I was playing at hollywood park and there are just too many people playing with with welfare checks, rent checks etc...
I don't play there any more. too depressing and doesn't feel good.

[/ QUOTE ]

The op didnt know he was stealing money or on the verge of suicide of course, but he felt something was very wrong (Playing above bankroll, bad table selection, no book reading no twoplustwo.com etc etc).
What can you do when he answers that he is a winning player and denies everything?

[/ QUOTE ]

Sadly there's really nothing you can do. Especially if you're not even really "friends". If it were me I'd figure the guy will eventually figure out he's not as good as he thinks he is and either get serious about the game or get out all together. Unless someone asks for help sometimes the signs aren't all that easy to see. From my own experience you can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped.

[malo]

Zuluking.....you did what you could, and that is all anyone can do. As a previous poster stated, you can't help those who don't want the help.

Perfectly normal to feel upset.....but don't beat yourself up over it.

[BigBaitsim (milo)]

Your story underscores how dangerous Pathological Gambling can be. People's lives and families are ruined, and there is a reasonably high mortality rate from suicide.

As poker players, we exist in a strange place. Pathological Gamblers feed our bankrolls, and the sight of a weak player, drunk and foolish at the end of a 22-hour session, losing his last is one that makes many poker players drool in anticipation. Poker is predatory, and PGs are prey. It's not pretty, but few good players will leave a table when the PG is tilting away his last. I've NEVER heard a poker player, dealer or floor, try to stop a man from reloading when he is obviously tilting.

Away from the tables, I believe we bear a special responsibility to help those who are willing to get help. We need to refer to therapists, to GA, and to try to help the PG see that he has a serious problem.

-Dr. Milo

[CaptSensible]

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I've NEVER heard a poker player, dealer or floor, try to stop a man from reloading when he is obviously tilting.


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Though it would infuriate many players I would like to see gambling handled like drinking is. When a guy in a bar has had too much to drink often they will stop serving him. I don't know how that would be done with playing poker if it could be done at all.

One possible solution might be that, if someone wants to, they can tell the house at the start of their night the limit they want to keep their buy in's to. Example: guy says "limit me to 3 buy ins". After 3 buy ins the house wouldn't reload him after his three buy ins have been used.

Many addicts will often tell themselves "ill only have 2 drinks"...They of course will drink themselves way beyond thier pre-determined limit. If a policy like this even helped one person it would be worth it. Of course I don't see anything like this ever being implemented but it would be nice if some of the card rooms took a little responsibility to try and help those that need it.

[Jorge10]

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One possible solution might be that, if someone wants to, they can tell the house at the start of their night the limit they want to keep their buy in's to. Example: guy says "limit me to 3 buy ins". After 3 buy ins the house wouldn't reload him after his three buy ins have been used.


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The casinos could do that, but a couple of things could go wrong. One the guy doesnt go back to the casino, which is obviously terrible for business, or two the guy just goes and blows his money on another casino game like the slots or blackjack. I mean if someone is drunk and wants to gamble, he could just go burn his money in some other part of the casino. Sadly there is no way to stop someone who has a gambling problem outside of having casino security scort him out, but if they do that it would look horrible and the guy probably wont comeback, and casinos cannot risk that and its really unfair to ask them to. Sadly there is no way to stop people who have problems with gambling while at the casino, all you can do is watch. The only way to stop them is to get them help when they leave the place.

[CaptSensible]

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[ QUOTE ]
One possible solution might be that, if someone wants to, they can tell the house at the start of their night the limit they want to keep their buy in's to. Example: guy says "limit me to 3 buy ins". After 3 buy ins the house wouldn't reload him after his three buy ins have been used.


[/ QUOTE ]

The casinos could do that, but a couple of things could go wrong. One the guy doesnt go back to the casino, which is obviously terrible for business, or two the guy just goes and blows his money on another casino game like the slots or blackjack. I mean if someone is drunk and wants to gamble, he could just go burn his money in some other part of the casino. Sadly there is no way to stop someone who has a gambling problem outside of having casino security scort him out, but if they do that it would look horrible and the guy probably wont comeback, and casinos cannot risk that and its really unfair to ask them to. Sadly there is no way to stop people who have problems with gambling while at the casino, all you can do is watch. The only way to stop them is to get them help when they leave the place.

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I think you're right. I don't think there is any real way to deal with problem gamblers while they are in the casino.