How to shut the table coach up

[adamstewart]

"Poker is easy."

[Megrok]

"If you let Jesus Christ into your heart, you too can get suck outs."

or

"God just loves me more than you."

Honestly, I always spew some god/jesus crap thing in their face and that always shuts them up.

[TemetNosce]

Paraphrased from an actual 2/4 LHE game yesterday that I was playing. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.

** NewbPlayer just raked in an $88 pot with 64o when he stayed in a 4-way, capped preflop pot and flopped a 6 and turned a 4, beating AngryPlayer's pocket AA.

AngryPlayer: "What kind of f*&%$ng idiot takes the flop with 64o when the betting is capped before the flop?!?"

TableCoach: "You are wrong AngryPlayer. He had the right odds to play the hand because there were 4 players total. NewbPlayer, did you know that the best way to crack Aces is by playing 65s? Suited connectors give you more dimensions to win a hand against a big pair"

NewbPlayer: "Can you give me more good advice, that's very interesting. I just started playing yesterday online for the first time. I decided to play the 64 because it's suited"

(Note: 64o is suited? That news to me. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img])

AngryPlayer: "You both are brain-dead f'ng idiots."

** Later NewbPlayer takes down a nice pot with QTs, re-raising preflop from the SB and flopping middle pair on a flop that came King-high. Got into a raising war with the other two players, who both folded after NewbPlayer bet the turn. The preflop raiser said he had JJ.

NewbPlayer: "TableCoach thanks for the advice for suited connectors. Did you see that I had extra dimensions? Since I had extra dimensions, I decided to raise with it. I really like your advice. Can you give me more?"

PreflopRaiserJJ: "You may want to take with a grain of salt the advice you get here from experts. You beat me, but you got lucky that I thought you had a King"

TableCoach: "Don't listen to him, NewbPlayer. You played your hand perfectly. He's just mad because you outplayed him."

** A couple of orbits later, TableCoach is UTG and raises. NewbPlayer is in the BB and re-raises. The two cap it preflop. The flop came A [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]4 [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]5 [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]. The flop gets capped. The turn is K [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] and the turn gets capped. The river is 9 [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]. River also gets capped. NewbPlayer turns over 3 [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]2 [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] and beats TableCoach's A [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]A [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img].

TableCoach: "I can't believe how lucky you just got,NewbPlayer. What the hell were you thinking?!?"

Me: "So how's that for taking your advice to heart, TableCoach?"

PreflopRaiserJJ: "ROFLMAO!!!"

TableCoach: " F*&k all of you!"
(At this point, Table Coach was in the BB, let the timer run down and left the table)

[smoore]

[ QUOTE ]
Paraphrased from an actual 2/4 LHE game yesterday that I was playing. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.
....


[/ QUOTE ]


hahahaha... post of the day!

one of my favorite "hey coach!" lines in a limit game is, "But he was pot committed!"

[Jakesta]

[ QUOTE ]
I tell them "you are the reason that abortions should be legal"

[/ QUOTE ]

I've said a slight variant of this once before, and I guess the guy reported it, because PokerStars e-mailed me a warning statng that I would have my chat revoked for 30 days the next time I said it. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[Jakesta]

Best story ever. Thanks. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[RaiNz]

I just say STFU. I say it everytime they say something until they stop, or start yelling at me. As long as nobody gives lessons, and doesn't berate my fish I leave everyone alone.

[toots]

Boy, I'd really be pissed if I were you.