Finding meaning in life

[Subfallen]

Some people derive meaning from relationships. Though this requires people whose company you can stand for > 5 mins.

Good luck.

[Jordan Olsommer]

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The idea is to not let an intellectual understanding that something is "meaningless" or trivial keep you from enjoying it. For instance many women tell me golf is stupid because it is just hitting a ball into a hole. Yet so many enjoy that game. And it is possible to do that even if you agree with that assessment. My father once asked me why I would ever go into a strip club. "It's just skin", he said. That set me aback but only for a moment. Playing Frisbee is another personal example for me.

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I second this; you will drive yourself absolutely insane if you bother to incessantly think about the "meaning" of strip clubs (here's the answer: Boobies. All ye know, and all ye need to know [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]), or the round of Disc Golf you're playing with your friends, or anything! You can trivialize anything at all if you look at it through a fine enough microscope. And resolving this doesn't require an entire change of personality either - you (The OP) do this to some extent already. Otherwise, why would you be posting on a board comprised of people whose hobby (or vocation, in some cases) is to wager small clay discs which represent small paper notes which represent goods and services on what colors and symbols happen to appear on small sheets of plastic? See what I mean? Of course, "zooming out" like this onto the big picture can in some cases prove to be enlightening (see Carl Sagan's "pale blue dot" essay, for example), but doing that all the time (especially with the expectation that somehow, somewhere, you're going to find The Answer) is a sure-fire recipe for disaster. There's an old Buddhist or Hinduist saying that I wish I knew who said it first, but I think it sums the situation up nicely - "Live as if the entire universe depended on your actions, while at the same time laughing at the very idea that they make any difference at all."

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Does anyone have any advice for me? Has anyone been through something like this and come out successfully on the other side?

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I recommend reading Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. It's short (about a day's worth of reading at average speed) and I believe it will address your concerns quite adequately and not in a trivial new-age "pilates are the answer!" fashion. I mean, after all, the guy survived Auschwitz and losing his entire family and wife to the concentration camps; if he can still find meaning in his life after (and even during!) that, then I think it'd be ludicrous not to suggest that anyone can.

[gasgod]

Thanks for the pep talk. I found it inspirational. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

GG

[Al Schoonmaker]

You asked, "Has anyone been through something like this and come out successfully on the other side?"

Millions of people have done it with varying degrees of success. The search for meaning in our lives is a central issue for many, many people.

You might try reading some of the works of Erich Fromm and Rollo May. They have written extensively about our search for meaning.

Regards,

Al

[Akinamehete]

Dear friend,

It sounds to me like you're having what is called an existential crisis. You seek answers to life.. a meaning, yet what I'm hearing is that you yourself are unsure what or where it could be found. There is a yearning in your words to put some sense into your life, but doing so with proof.

Faith is often seen as putting certainty where there is none, and being at peace with this.

Since you have a tendency towards studying, I would recommend you study the works of Viktor Frankl. He talked much about the question of meaning and came up with the following three suggestions to people who look for meaning in their lives:

1) Doing a work of creation.

Be it an artistic endeavor or not, it is a project where one immerses themselves completely, thus giving a part of themselves into that project, recognizing our contribution and which therefore helps in appreciating its value, if I understand correctly.

2) Creating a relationship with a superior being.

Be it God, or whatever name one has for Him. This can help the individual in sustaining himself during hard times, because of this relationship that exists outside of ourselves, which also thus affects our actions, and therefore can help to give meaning to them.

3) Relationships that we maintain during our lives.

Be it friendships, romantic relationships, and so on, by going outside of ourselves and talking with others, building bridges, this helps in giving us a better meaning to our lives.

Frankl was a jewish psychiatrist who survived the nazi concentration camps by maintaining the above philosophy. He wrote about his experience in, I believe it's called "Man's search for meaning".

I hope this advice helps you in finding your own meaning to life.

That said, I would recommend you have yourself checked with a doctor in regards to symptoms of depression. Sometimes, this state of being can have control over you and affect your thought patterns and emotions sometimes without you even knowing. Please consider doing so.

kindest regards,

Akinamehete*

[NotReady]

Life has meaning or it doesn't. If it doesn't, then it makes no difference what anyone says, including me. All you can do is occupy yourself, and you don't need any advice on that, just do what interests you.

If life has meaning, then from a philosophical viewpoint, I don't see how it can unless God exists. I'm not going through all the reasons I believe that to be the case, but I believe I can establish that.

If you are serious about finding the answers, I suggest you search for God. Again, I'm not going to present you with a sermon, as I've indicated my position at length in other threads on this forum, but if you are really seeking the truth you can find it.

Peace, I wish you success.

[OtisTheMarsupial]

As another who earned a BA in philosophy, I can tell you this:

Unless your goal is to brainwash the masses, don't look or try to create for one, singular, cohesive philosophy. You must piece together your own taking from each great philosophers the best that they offered. They were all human and thus capable of error. Take the things that work for you and leave the rest. Embrace complexity.

Second, it sounds like you need a really great relationship, an inspiring project, or maybe just some exercise. Seriously, regular exercise will help a lot.

[Joe826]

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Meds should be reserved for the suicidal; otherwise we're just ducking the problem.

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What problem?

BTW - Where are you going to grad school, and are you going to continue with your philosophy education? I've got only a couple semesters left and I have no idea what I want. I'd like to teach philosophy, but that's pretty hit and miss from what I hear.

[Joe826]

Either life is devoid or meaning or it isn't, period.

Atheists thinks religious people are dillusional when they say life has meaning and it can be found in a higher being, and theists think atheists are ignorant and/or hopelessly misled when they choose to reject meaning.

What you have to ask yourself is if you think meaning can exist without God. If it can, then what reason do you have to believe that and how can you pursue it? If it can't, then you need to stop longing after something that simply isn't there. Learn to deal with the fact that nothing you do matters outside of the scope of your lifetime and just live as best you can.

If you choose to want after meaning even though you don't actually think it's there, your life will be much worse.

[OtisTheMarsupial]

You do not need god to make your life meaningful.