How do you avoid life tilt?

[kurosh]

No no, I mean the level of intensity for all your emotions will be equally high.

[PokerProdigy]

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I've gotten to the point where I go on tilt from bad beats and such very very rarely, if ever. 2 outers don't bother me much anymore.

I still go on tilt relatively often because of my ex-gf. Whenever we get in a fight and she leaves before it's resolved, it drives me absolutely insane. I have to stop playing and it wastes many hours of potential poker playing time. I can't do a damn thing because I'm so upset or angry. She is the only thing that has that kind of effect on me.

Before anyone suggests it, not talking to her isn't an option. Thanks.

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First off, I compliment you for not going on tilt in poker.

Second, you need to realize that you can employ this same mindset with your girl friend. Notice the way you talk about it "she drives me insane," "she wastes my time," "I can't do anything about it," etc... Now notice/realize that this is just not true. If "you can't do anything about it" then who can? I think you need to realize that it IS up to you, and you need to DECIDE that you're not gonna let her have this effect/power over you.

Third, not talking to her IS an option. But I just reccommend that you employ the things in the previous paragraph and then it won't come to that.

P.S. If you are having trouble with this you should read some philosophy and psychology stuff. Such as, buddist philosophy, stoic philosophy, and psychology's topic of locus of control (internal vs. external).

[poker-penguin]

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Desire breeds attachment, attachment breeds suffering.


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[Blackjack]

A stick it in her pooper comment would be so funny right now.

Get some prozac so you don't have crazy mood swings.

Blackjack

[BCl]

I too am having the same problem..kids, work, whatever the case may be. im all fired up about a tourny im in and one of life's probs throws me a curve and im on tilt from the get go. in fact i missed 2 playing dates at the wsop circuit tourny in new orleans this week due to just this type of b.s. im currently seeking a sports psychologist who would be willing to help with this type of problem. im sure it would be worth the money but finding one within my range off travel is proving to be tough so far..
If you find something along that line i'd appreciate you giving an update on the results.

on another note i sure thought this forum was a place for serious answers to serious questions players have. seems most every thread ive seen so far has the same old "your just a loser ,im so so great" responses you see on every other run of the mill forum...highly dissapointed so far. and im sure this response will get a few more.

[chesspain]

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I too am having the same problem..kids, work, whatever the case may be. im all fired up about a tourny im in and one of life's probs throws me a curve and im on tilt from the get go. in fact i missed 2 playing dates at the wsop circuit tourny in new orleans this week due to just this type of b.s. im currently seeking a sports psychologist who would be willing to help with this type of problem.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sports psychologists specialize in helping individuals obtain peak performance. Clinical psychologists are trained to help individuals deal with explosive anger and immaturity. Althought I don't mean to sound sarcastic, you really sound like you would benefit more from the expertise of the latter.



[ QUOTE ]
on another note i sure thought this forum was a place for serious answers to serious questions players have. seems most every thread ive seen so far has the same old "your just a loser ,im so so great" responses you see on every other run of the mill forum...highly dissapointed so far. and im sure this response will get a few more.

[/ QUOTE ]

Just because people don't like the answers they are given doesn't mean that the respondants aren't being sincere. For example, if Kurosh doesn't want to examine the reasons why he feels compelled to remain in a volatile relationship and/or why he has such difficulty coping with relationship conflict, he may well be dissatisfied with the responses he receives here.

Likewise, if you are looking for similarly simple answers/strategies for coping with your own out-of-control emotions, you will also feel unsatisfied with the answers you receive.

[BCl]

Clinical psychologists ....thanks ill try that. i was thinking since it was sports related that was the way to go.
your response is exactly what i was hoping to find here, someone who knows more about a subject than the writer offering his insight...thanksssss

[OldYoda]

I sympathise with the difficulties you are facing in your life, not the effect that it has on your poker. You need to examine this situation and see that although you refer to her as an ex-girlfriend, she obviously is a "most important person in your life" , and the key is that she is still very much in your life.
Ask yourself what your true feelings are toward this woman and what is it that you really want to do about those feelings. Until you do this, I don't see that you can make much progress. Good luck.

[crazy canuck]

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[imported_anacardo]

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Downright damning... [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]