Money, money, money...

[ThePimpulator]

I used to have a problem even telling people what I did for money. Id try to avoid telling people when theyd ask, by saying something very general like "I deal with statistics," or I would simply attempt to change the subject.

But people know when they are being fobbed off and they just think that either you are just being a prick, or that you are a male stripper/prostitute. (Honestly.)

Needless to say I got pretty fed up with all the awkward moments and hassle, so now I just tell people out right. Im sure people now just think I have a gambling problem, but I just dont give a sh*t. If people are asking me these sorts of questions, they are people on the fringe of my life that I am not concerned about, otherwise they'd already know the answers.

I have only been asked how much I make once, and on that occasion I had know the person for a little while and felt comfortable telling her. She was just curious and was fine after.

However, if I started to get asked a lot, I can imagine getting fed up in the same way as above and just start telling people out right. And proudly. And if im not sure about the person or suspect they do not think very highly of me I can imagine myself casually asking them how much they make from their job afterwards and see what they think about that. And if they should have a problem with me asking, I would be ready for an arguement.

For me the bottom line is: I have nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed about. Where as before I would be intimidated and go into my shell in these situations, now Im proud about my achievements and am always ready to tell them to sort their own f*cked up life out before they comment on mine. I know they wouldnt be offended if they were making the money instead of working 10 hour shifts at the local bar or resturant or supermarket, and im not about to take any ignorant, hypocritical, jealous bullsh*t.

Having gone through that little rant though, I really didnt give people enough credit in my early days. When most people find out what I do, they are just curious about it. I still suspect many secretly think I have a gambilng problem, at least initially. But I have never encountered any negativity, so Im suprised you have.

Most people are just woefully ignorant more than anything. If they are not thinking you have a problem, they are thinking they know what you are talking about. I got asked what I do just yesterday, and when I told her she said "oh, dont think things like that suprise me, I know guys like you that play roulette. They only ever gamble on black or red, and thats how they make their living." Of course you cant say anything to this because then you really would be behaving like a prick. I just appreciate someone having an open mind.

[mach3]

It's best just to stay quiet.

Funny story - I actually met a guy who is a "professional gambler" - a friend of a friend type thing. Anyway - the people were kind of talking about him in awe and mentioned he just got back from a month long trip where he made X amount of dollars. I said woooowwwww - he must be good and the topic of conversation changed. His "great month" was a good 4-5 days for me. My next thought was - how the hell do these strangers know how much this guy made last month.

Don't be that guy. Good luck.

[umdpoker]

yeah, same thing happens to me when i hang out with my friends. someitimes they will say "are you still making money off of poker?". its annoying, because they all know that for the last year i have been making money from poker. its almost as though they expect me to start losing. i don't think they understand that winning longterm is possible.

[aflaba]

Why they know that I am making money playing poker?

Well, I'm dedicating pretty much 30h a week to poker related stuff. When someone asks me: "How was your weekend?" or "What are your plans for tonight?" I don't want to lie. I say I'm playing poker. So that's why people know that. And also people hear from others that I'm playing poker. Poker is becoming very popular in sweden, but so far there are few serius poker players.

Now about the money part. Of course I'm not going to hide that I'm making money. It would be worse than talking about money if people thought I spent 30h/week every week working without making any money.


[ QUOTE ]
I get the feeling you like people asking you about it - make you feel cool.

[/ QUOTE ]

No, it doesn't. I feel good knowing I am good at what I do. I feel good about being successful at what I do. It also gives me satisfaction that others know that I am successful at what I do. But I don't feel cool when they ask me how much I am making.

[Heeyuck]

Ask them how much they make at their job. In any profession except apparently gambling, that question is very rude.

Them: "How much do you make? $1000, $10,000??"

You: "How much do you make at your job?"

Them: "um, er..."

You: "exactly"

[PhatPots]

You should not have to tell them. If they want to know how much you make you should ask them how much they make. I was always taught that people should not discuss how much money they make. It creates nothing but problems. People become jealous and feel uncomfortable when you make more and they feel like they are smart/more important than you if they make more. The best thing is to not tell. When someone ask you how much you make, you should say "Its personal." It sounds like you are too passive when not divulging information. It's like if someone ask you how far you have gone with a girl you can say "I've done alright." but then that just encourages more questions. You have to say "Thats none of your business, its personal."

I have told a few of my friends about some of my winnings, but even when I tell just one ore two it gets around my social circle. I am going to try and keep my poker winnings on the down lo from now on. I hope that helps,

Cheers,
Pots

[aflaba]

Your post Pots, and several of the previouses, answer my problem very well.

I'll definetly toughen up. Stop giving answers that lead to more questins. And use the "how much do you make?"-line when necissary and appropriate. All of your post is very good advice and insight into the problem.

It has been very helpful to see how other 2+2:ers handle this situation. thanks!

[aflaba]

- In any profession except apparently gambling, that question is very rude.

Excactly!

I'll have to show them that it's rude for gambling as well.

[aflaba]

Great post! Thanks for your story.

[cardcounter0]

I wouldn't mind the "how much do you make" question so much. It is the other idiot questions that get me -- like "What is the biggest amount you have ever won?" Come on, it's not the friggin' lottery. or "What is the largest amount you have ever bet?" , uh, it's called limit poker for a reason, and even in no-limit you can't bet over what you got on the table.

When questions about my gambling, and how much I make, and how much did I win, etc. come up -- I just rely on my old standby response: "Can I borrow $200 until next Tuesday?"
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