My Parents Still Don't Know...

[Russ McGinley]

I decided not to tell my Dad that I earn extra money from poker when he made a comment during a broadcast of PTI on ESPN. He asked me why I would watch a show that is just "two heads yelling at each other", and then also said "I'm also tired of all these poker shows and gambling and all that nonsense. It's so stupid." I just kinda nodded and said "Yeah." I was actually considering telling him about my AC and Vegas trips and then I was going to bring up the poker. Guess I won't be doing that.

[turnipmonster]

I think that some point in your life you have to stop worrying about upsetting your parents and just be honest about who you are. I did lots of things that caused my parents to freak out and eventually they just got over it and accepted it, and I ended up fine.

please don't take this the wrong way, but you're an adult and obviously can take care of yourself and make your own decisions, so I would say that you should just be honest with your folks. they'll be upset for a while, big deal. they'll get over it.

--turnipmonster

[The Dude]

I think your parents will probably be more hurt that you've lied to them for 2 years about what you do than they will be by what it is that you do.

[B Dids]

FWIW, there's a lot of people on this site who make a lot of money player poker. There's no need to act coy about your results, we've seen it all before. Frankly- sharing how you're actually doing goes a lot to helping folks answer your questions.

[sfer]

You: Mom, Dad, I have to tell you something. I've been living a lie for 2 years. I'm gay.

Them: <GASP!>

You: Just kidding. Oh, and I play poker for a living. Late.

[nolanfan34]

[ QUOTE ]
You: Mom, Dad, I have to tell you something. I've been living a lie for 2 years. I'm gay.

Them: <GASP!>

You: Just kidding. Oh, and I play poker for a living. Late.

[/ QUOTE ]

Classic. I'd love for someone to try this and report back.

[TylerD]

You should definately do this, apples.

[B00T]

before I opened this thread, I thought thats what it was going to say.

[Blarg]

Most people by far take their money and blow it. If you're that type, and statistically speaking alone, you're more likely to be than not, I would seriously consider whether telling your parents is the right thing to do at precisely this moment.

I'd think of parents in the situation you're in as sort of like the loan officer at a bank when you're trying to get a home loan. Present income may seem spectacular to you, better than your friends who get easy approval, but there's no way in hell that's enough. These are your PARENTS we're talking about. Their young punk kid thinking he knows it all because he's flashing some cash for a while probably means little to them, and it shouldn't mean much to them either. They've probably been through a lot more of life than you and know how life can jump you with bad luck.

For those times, you need security, not just present income potential.

What's your bank account like? Has that changed much from when you started playing poker? What are your plans to make it grow?

Do you have much outstanding debt?

Do you have an IRA? Are your taxes taken care of right? Do you have any investments? If not now, when?

Do you have health insurance?

Kids think about the present, and stupid kids think about nothing else. Parents think about your future. If you're going to honor their concern about you and love for you, you have to show them that you're not just a guy who's hoping on hitting the lottery until his luck turns. You have to show them you're an adult who has taken an adult outlook on his life and made mature decisions about his future.

This means you will probably have to be WELL ahead of all your friends in these matters. Most people do not have a well-planned future, a savings or investment plan, minimal debt, and an IRA, etc. But even if they're making much less money than you are, your parents will probably look at them as being far more responsible because at least they have a relatively dependable income and are doing things in a societally acceptable way. To have any chance to break your parents out of thinking of you as hopelessly behind even when you think you're ahead, you'll probably have to actually really establish a much more thoughtful life than you might think is required of a person to respect himself or get the respect of others. If you're farting along and expect your parents to be impressed by that, you're probably out of luck.

You're self-employed now, and have to run your life the way a good business is run, and have the records and growth plans to show you're serious. If it were my son, I'd think he was probably a screwball who sooner or later would be asking to move back into the house and borrow lots of money, and then probably blow it all again like a degenerate, until he proved to me he was just as responsible as someone trying a real career. I'd think he was a pathetic dreamer dancing on clouds and due for a hard life and the bringing of a lot of future grief into the family. If I was the father, I'd be fearful of the grief he was going to subject his mother, my poor wife, to, as his life fell apart. I'd love him just the same, but probably be very sad for him.

The only way you're going to get around those very realistic and expectable feelings is to show the most concrete evidence possible that those feelings are mistaken. That's not going to come from pride or assertions that you're a grown-up and can do what you want no matter what anybody says. It's going to come from a bank statement and record of deposits and withdrawals, from a written budget, from tax records, from investment/IRA records, from insurance policies. The rest is all just dreaming and promises, exactly what you'd expect to hear from any fool or degenerate addict. The rest just sounds like the prelude to begging for a loan and a very sad life that diminishes or destroys you right at the height of your powers, when you could be building a future for yourself and eventually a family of your own.

[fluff]

Very very good response. 100% agree.