The silence of the Daliman (long)

[willie]

ooof.....may i always keep my 10+1 losses in perspective.


good god.

[Daliman]

yeah, I rememember that one, lol.

Thanks for all the kind words of support to everyone.

As it was, i was plenty capitalized at the time for every game i was playing except my couple forays into 80-160 and 25/50 NL. I figure 30 buyins is a fairly safe # for SNg's(IF i concentrate on those, not playing 3 other games while 4 tabling...)and the standard 300BB's mean 18k for 30-60, so i was fine there too. NL, I dont know what the BR requirements should be, but I'm guessing around 1500x the big blind, and more for high limit games. It's been said that to properly and consistently play in the 25/50 on UB, you need a half million dollars, which i think is excessive(unless you suck), i would think 250K would be plenty for a winning player, but what do i know..

P.S. As far as names, some are rumors, some are fact, but here's what i know
GummyBear-Thomas Keller
Kid55-Freddy Deeb
Mr Belvedere- Erick Lindgren
DaWiz- Bobby Hoff

[Desdia72]

[ QUOTE ]
I used to post in this forum all the time. I used to play 100-150 $200+15 Sng's a week, averaging almost $35 per tourney without even using selective tabling. I had made 52k in 4 months of SNG's and another 40k in 5/10 NL cash games in under 100 hours of play (with limited forays into 10-25 and 25/50) and was estimating my 2004 poker income at about 250k only playing 25 hours a week. Given the fact that I recently quit my job after my wife went back to work following this birth of our son(she always made more at her job than I did as a tire salesman/DJ.), being able to play poker, make great money, and watch my son during the day was like a dream come true.

In my life, I have had many instances where it seemed like somthing would go well for me, only to have it fall to pieces. I was resigned to the fact that I was cursed. I'm alot smarter than most people, yet my intelligence early on caused me to be lazy in school, as I didn't need to study as much as other kids did in school. As time went on, I realized that yes, I've had bad luck, but my work ethic didn't do anything to tip the scales further in my favor. Now, however, I felt I was finally over that hill. Poker was great, my son was great, my wife was great, we were buying a beautiful new home.

It was a friday night, and I was playing 25-50 NL on UB for the first time. When you are doing well at poker, money starts to lose it's meaning, and i figured if I happened to dump 5-7k, no big deal, i had 20K+ more online. My dreams of buying a 2005 Mini Cooper and paying cash were in reach. I started off down about 6k down after about 4 hours HU vs a player I felt I could beat, and when he left, I was going to leave too, but a MAJOR leak of my game reared its head; I HATE leaving a table down. THe only Problem is the 2 players who sat with me were Thomas Keller and Prahlad friedman, two of the top NL players on UB. As it turned out, I ended up +2800 for the session, winning a 11K pot off Keller in the process.
My next opportunity to play was sunday. I started off somewhat down, but improved after about 4 hours to having ~11k on the table from a 8500 total buyin. With so much money on the line, you'd think I'd pay pretty close attention, especially with Freddy Deeb, Bobby Hoff, and Erick lindgren in the game 7 handed, but I was playing 2 other games AND IN'ing with a friend. Because of this distraction, i ended up making a terrible mistake in a hand vs Bobby Hoff and losing a 17k pot. Everything fell apart from there, and my worst day ever inflated from -4200 to -14k.
I was angry at myself for making an $8200 mistake, but figured it was merely a speed bump for me. The following day, I dropped $3800 playing 30/60 4 handed, most of it to a guy who was consistantly calling 3 bets cold preflop from the SB with hands like 67o and 97s, never folding ace or even king high. I lost another 3k the nest day in the same game. I figured, " no problem, I'll just go back to 5/10 NL", where I was winning at a $440 per hour clip with VERY few drops; I lost 6K total in them before the week was done.

By the time the week was over, I'd dropped 26k, and now had an online equity of less than 3k.

I went into a deep depression. The enormity of what I had just lost hit me, and I was only interested in how to get it back quickest. It seemed to me that playing tons of SNG's was "only" going to get me back 3-5K a week, and I was having a bad run there anyways, so I went back to NL.
I was consistently bouncing between online equity of 3-8k when i hit a wall. Not only did I have no money left, I now owed over 2k to a friend online.
This downswng started back in July, and continues through today. I have bounced between NL, SNG's, and 10/20-15/30 games since then, and I truly feel every part of my game has gone in the crapper except for my SNG game, which I feel has never been better. Inexplicably, however, I was down ~5k for my previous 600 $200+15 SNG's, even though my worst previous 100 SNG block was -$900, and had NEVER had a losing 100 block otherwise(an aberration, i know). I was losing more than my fair share of allins is pretty much what it comes down to, which is part of poker, but now my BR was not big enough to weather the storm. I ended up dropping to the $30 SNG level, which was very humbling for me, Mr. ""I've played 100 $200+15 sng's in a day off 4k", but I figured even if i can just make $10 per, that's still about $50 per hour, so after a month of play, id have 5-8k. Good money, and definitely enough to live off of, even IF my sensibilities towards money have been severely warped.

Well, i played about 40 of these, was actually winning about $17 per, but of course, it's not good enough for me, so i go up to the $50 level, go on a bad run, and summarily lose the $600 I had built up.
I got a couple of friends to loan me $2500 last week, which, along with ~ $900 i got from my affiliate pay, I rolled it up to $5000 in one day, then dropped it 3k playing 15-30 when I didn't think i had enough time to play SNG's I sent the 2k back to one friend after getting back to 4k, got in a fight with my wife on sunday, and since the $200+15's were taking too long to get going that afternnon, i played 4x 10/20 tables, and lost it all.
Now I'm back to scraping for a BR, I'll probably start back off at $50 level.
Part of the reason I wrote this is to let people know where i've been lately; I've seen a few posts wondering where ive gone, and I get a fair amount of people who watch me play online due to my posts here, I guess. Another part is as a cautionary tale.... If you're doing well, keep doing what got you there. Don't let the money warp your sensibilities or your opinion of your own game. I had no business putting more than 5k in that 25/50 game, ESPECIALLY when i'm multitabling.
I guess the final reason is just this is cathartic for me. Maybe by writing this rambling, whiny post it'll help hammer into my head what i should already know; STICK TO SNG'S! I doubt it though, i'm pretty stubborn

[/ QUOTE ]

WOW!

[CrisBrown]

Hi Daliman,

I've always respected you, and after this post I respect you even more.

I went through a somewhat similar situation this past spring. I'd built my bankroll up to $5K playing SNGs, but hit a small skid, was frustrated with SNG play, and decided to switch to ring games ($2/4 and $3/5) for a while, for a change of pace. I did very, very well ($10K in a month, at only 15-20 hrs/wk), and all looked rosy. I made a couple of large withdrawals to pay bills, but I figured I'd get it back with no problem.

Oops.

I'd withdrawn enough that I was underfunded. Couple that with the inevitable swings of poker, and the next thing I knew, my bankroll was all but gone. I withdrew the rest, again to pay some bills, and forced myself to take a summer break. As I said in a previous post, I had my kids at home all summer anyway, so it would have been very difficult to concentrate regardless.

Like you, Daliman, my biggest leak is that I hate to leave a table when I'm losing. Some days, it just ain't there to win. Either the opponents are better than you, or they're playing better that day, or you're playing worse than your usual game, or maybe the cards are just dead. Regardless, the longer I sit there, the worse things get.

I've just recently started playing again, after rereading my core resources (I've listed them elsewhere), and going back to the basics. It's a humbling but, I think, a very necessary experience for any serious player.

I once asked Phil Hellmuth how to cope with "delusions of competence." His reply startled me, given what I see of him on televised poker events. He said: "I do two things. First, I try not to believe I'm all that good. Second, I try to remember I am very blessed, with good health, a good family, and a lot of other things outside of poker."

I think he was sincere, although obviously he has trouble remembering these things in the heat of the action. I've tried to take his advice to heart, an of course I also have trouble remembering it in the heat of the action. That's hardly an uncommon occurrence in the human species.

I guess what I'm saying in all of this, Daliman, is that you are a very talented player. Yes, you made mistakes, and you appear to be trying to learn from them. Don't let those mistakes wipe away your awareness of all of the other blessings in your life: a good family, etc.

It has been said that the measure of a person is not how often he/she is knocked down, but how often he/she gets up. You've gotten back up. That, and your willingness to share your pain here, says a lot about you ... and all of it good.

Cris

[byronkincaid]

553 posts and you're still playing $5s.

WOW!

[ThaSaltCracka]

good post Cris.
Daliman, I have never played poker at the levels you play at, nor do I know what its like to win or lose that much money, but based upon what you wrote, two things seem aparent to me. One, you seem stressed (for good reason) and two you seem to be playing franticly. You need to slow down a bit, maybe even take a day or two off or limit the amount you play. Then once you have things under control, slowly ease back into what you were doing.

I hope you turn in around man!

[Desdia72]

[ QUOTE ]
553 posts and you're still playing $5s.

WOW!

[/ QUOTE ]

i don't play alot of SNGs. i have a life outside of poker.
i've played probably at least 350 or more but it's spread out over a period of about 10 months. that's why a bad run for me in the short-term keeps me at the $5 level until i'm confident i can win consistently once i move up. i'm not habitually into transferring money after money over from Neteller when my BR gets low. if i'm doing bad, then i deal with it. for now, i focus on micro-limit ring game play to get reps in with an occasional SNG and read poker books and 2+2. your post is oozing with support.

[durron597]

Your BR would be a lot healthier if you didn't have the rake from $5s cutting into your winnings.

Unless you are playing on Stars, in which case I should shut my mouth [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[LinusKS]

If you made 52k in less than 100 hours of play, that's $520/hour. If you were playing 8 sng's per hour, you need to make it $65/game, not $35.

Did that 100 hours of play include the $40,000 you won at ring games, as well as the $52,000 at sngs?

[Jason Strasser]

Daliman,

This really hurt to read.

I suggest that you find a game, whether it is sngs/nl or limit ring, and stick with it. Force yourself not to move up or down until you actually have a bankroll for the next level.

Also, uninstall UB if you are the type of person that can't help 'testing' out the 25/50 NL tables.

Gluck,
-Jason